More Vanity

[Guest guest]

My nada would shove pancakes and pizza down my throat one day, and

than tell me I needed to lose weight and give me a diet pill at like

10 years old. I can remember when I was maybe 19 or 20, nada and I

went to a hockey game and out to eat afterwards and she would tell me

that the hockey players were checking her out. She was like 60. we ran

into some of those guys and I wanted to crawl under the table when she

walked up to them and began to flirt with a table of young hockey

players. I was SO embarassed! I think I to this day have this thing

where I find myself so revolted over that behavior that I do the exact

opposite. I can attract a guy, but I soon turn into " miss " you must

like me for me and stop being so dolled up or phsically appealing.

Lynn told me about a year ago that men a all about the visual. Looks

attract the opposite sex, but I think that there has to be more. I am

still rebeling against that on some level. On top of it I am in a

profession that is the old boys club. I out did those boys in many ways

and I don't want them to see me as a girl. I want the to see me as a

peer. When ( nada #2 ) was in last summer everywhere we went she

had to have 45lbs of make up on and bad eighties hair. It would be 95

degrees out and the war paint would run and she put more on. I asked

her one night how can she sleep in that stuff, that is not good for

your skin. Well she jumped right down my throat with- What you don't

think my skin looks good, I don't have pimples or anything. The only

time she doesn't have make up on is when she washes it of in the

morning to put a fresh coat on. She has been this way as long as I

remeber.

[Guest guest]

The vanity thing is really interesting. My nada who

is now in her 70's has always been extremely jealous

of me and my sister's age and looks. She has had

repeated plastic surgery and spent thousands. None of

it has worked and in fact made her look worse. She is

at this point heavily overweight, has bleached yellow

hair, dresses way too young for her age, and when she

has gone out in the past with me, tells everyone that

she's my sister (I'm about 35 years younger)! This

woman still wears bikinis on the beach. This so

called vanity has completely humiliated the entire

family for years. We've refused to go to the beach or

pool for a long time now. When I was in my 20's and a

man younger than my nada flirted with me, she called

me a slut in public and stomped out. When she started

showing naked pieces of herself in front of my kids

that helped push me to NC which has brought me vast

relief. Is all this vanity stuff common among BPD

people?

LM

--- maryec73 wrote:

>

>

> My nada would shove pancakes and pizza down my

> throat one day, and

> than tell me I needed to lose weight and give me a

> diet pill at like

> 10 years old. I can remember when I was maybe 19 or

> 20, nada and I

> went to a hockey game and out to eat afterwards and

> she would tell me

> that the hockey players were checking her out. She

> was like 60. we ran

> into some of those guys and I wanted to crawl under

> the table when she

> walked up to them and began to flirt with a table of

> young hockey

> players. I was SO embarassed! I think I to this day

> have this thing

> where I find myself so revolted over that behavior

> that I do the exact

> opposite. I can attract a guy, but I soon turn into

> " miss " you must

> like me for me and stop being so dolled up or

> phsically appealing.

> Lynn told me about a year ago that men a all about

> the visual. Looks

> attract the opposite sex, but I think that there has

> to be more. I am

> still rebeling against that on some level. On top of

> it I am in a

> profession that is the old boys club. I out did

> those boys in many ways

> and I don't want them to see me as a girl. I want

> the to see me as a

> peer. When ( nada #2 ) was in last summer

> everywhere we went she

> had to have 45lbs of make up on and bad eighties

> hair. It would be 95

> degrees out and the war paint would run and she put

> more on. I asked

> her one night how can she sleep in that stuff, that

> is not good for

> your skin. Well she jumped right down my throat

> with- What you don't

> think my skin looks good, I don't have pimples or

> anything. The only

> time she doesn't have make up on is when she washes

> it of in the

> morning to put a fresh coat on. She has been this

> way as long as I

> remeber.

>

>

>

>

>

__________________________________________________