Re:birthdays

[Guest guest]

Dear Sylvia, Colleen, Kerrie, & Flea...

Thank you all for your kind words. It is funny how so many of our

children are the same age. I agree with the sentiment that it is time

for some new traditions. (By the by... I am also one of those people

who goes wacky over the non-holidays like Halloween. It is a sacred

day for me...I don't think I enjoy any other day of the year so much -

lol!)

Last year was the first time I hadn't contacted fada on his birthday.

I was due on that day and it was like our little inside joke - we

were really supposed to share the day. I felt really bad at the time.

This time around there is no guilt, fear or regret about the nc. I

just rarely allow myself the moment to miss him. It goes back to that

whole mourning people who are still alive deal.

I had been a mess all week and didn't know why. Once I named the

problem - it got much better. It is definitely time to emancipate my

birthday from theirs. I will build new memories with my son from here

on out.

Thanks everyone.