Newbie to the group

[Guest guest]

Hi All~

Wow! I'm so impressed with the posts I've read in this group. Many of

you guys have the guts that I have been lacking for years. I've been

one of those nonbp's, living with a mother who is bp, who tries to

make excuses for her behavior. I've known for years that she has bp,

but I'm finally to the point where I have to admit it or lose my own

sanity.

All excuses aside, I'm an only child and my mother has been in and

out of the hospital for most of my life. Her last round was a spinal

fusion a year and a half ago. Since my early twenties I've been her

primary caregiver (she was in a really bad car accident in '94). Now

that I'm in my thirties I'm finding it really hard to explain to

people why I'm afraid of her, why I feel guilty about living, why she

seems so " normal " to everyone else but is emotionally viscious with

me one minute and then the next minute she treats me like I should be

on the FBI's Most Wanted list. I'm at wits end. The sad part is that

I'm in the mental health business and I'm being devoured by a very

sick and unbalanced woman!

How did any of you get up the strength to say " No More!! " and to move

past the emotional blackmail and all of the lies like, " You can't

survive without me " ? Any starters would be so helpful!