Guest guest Posted January 16, 2006 Report Posted January 16, 2006 Ye Other KOs, Just got a call from nada the other day. To re-fresh your memories, she broke her kneecap sometime in December before Christmas. When, I don't know and I do care but I didn't lift a finger to help her in any way whatsoever. She said the cast comes off in about a month or so and she missed getting out to shop. She said she wouldn't have broken it if she wouldn't have been out driving on an icy day and it was all her fault. I just let her take the blame. It's the first time she has owned up to anything like this. She slipped on the ice at a gas station and fell. She didn't know it was broken at the time but two days later had an ambulence take her to the ER. She can still drive because it was her left kneecap. Her sister and brother-in-law are bring her meals. The thing is KOs is that I told her that I wasn't going to support her in any way because of the way she had treated me. She said that she had treated me pretty mean and that she had that comming. <high-five cyber-slap>. Yowza. She got into some re-fighting old wars or trying to pick a fight and bring chaos into my life again about things in the past. I pointed this out that it had nothing to do with the conversation. (She called to wish me happy birthday). My nada is caught in a loop of some things my dishrag dad did in 1948 before I was born. I told her that the statute of limitations started in 1951 when I was born and anything before that and my dad was off limits. She started to rage. I told her to get a therapissant to handle these issues about my dad and that she was taking things out on me and upsetting me. I told her that no one on the planet could change the past and that what happened happened and to adjust to it, get on with it and accept it. There isn't anything anyone could do about things in the past but her and that is to change her attitude about it, accept it, and quit rehashing what could have been. She said to for me to send her a bill for counseling. I told her I would. I then told her to list 10 things good about my dad. She came up with things like he was kind, he worked steady, he kept up the house, etc. I then told her to say 2 good things about me. She did. I told her that she could ride through life and smell the roses or she could look at the dirt and see the dog poo. She ended by saying that she has a screw loose. She said that she should have fallen on the part that tightened her loose screw instead of her kneecap. She's high-functioning, KOs. We laughed a little but still it was tense. She thinks she is getting Alzheimers but I disagree because she it getting *better*. I told her that it didn't matter what 'it' was; Alzheimers, diabetes, BPD, OCD, NPD, kneecap--- it how she treats me and how she upsets me. A rage by any other name is still a rage. I noticed she set her own boundaries this time. A first. She said she was only going to stay on the phone for a half hour. We went over a little. But, she then remembered how I like to watch my soap and she got off before then. She also asked me not to talk about some trouble my cousin is in and I respected that boundary of hers and backed off. She kept on going and noticed that herself. Sometimes it's 'monkey see, monkey do' with my nada. She has to copy my example. Sometimes it's just monkey doo doo. <smirking at nada>. Still moving and progressing in Oz. Fifty-five years of this. ((((((ModOasis))))))) ((((((Rita))))))) I always give myself a hug. I take care of myself too. Wuvs you all, Rita " And she'll have fun, fun, fun 'till her daddy takes the keyboard away " . Quote
Guest guest Posted January 17, 2006 Report Posted January 17, 2006 Rita, A high-five cyber-slap right back attcha! So good to hear how this conversation went. I always enjoy reading your posts because you have worked very hard at healing and recovering from your BP nada. Sylvia > > Ye Other KOs, > > Just got a call from nada the other day. To re-fresh your memories, she > broke her kneecap sometime in December before Christmas. When, I don't know and I > do care but I didn't lift a finger to help her in any way whatsoever. She > said the cast comes off in about a month or so and she missed getting out to > shop. > > She said she wouldn't have broken it if she wouldn't have been out driving on > an icy day and it was all her fault. I just let her take the blame. It's the > first time she has owned up to anything like this. She slipped on the ice at > a gas station and fell. She didn't know it was broken at the time but two > days later had an ambulence take her to the ER. She can still drive because it > was her left kneecap. Her sister and brother-in-law are bring her meals. > > The thing is KOs is that I told her that I wasn't going to support her in any > way because of the way she had treated me. She said that she had treated me > pretty mean and that she had that comming. <high-five cyber- slap>. Yowza. > > She got into some re-fighting old wars or trying to pick a fight and bring > chaos into my life again about things in the past. I pointed this out that it > had nothing to do with the conversation. (She called to wish me happy > birthday). My nada is caught in a loop of some things my dishrag dad did in 1948 > before I was born. I told her that the statute of limitations started in 1951 > when I was born and anything before that and my dad was off limits. She started > to rage. I told her to get a therapissant to handle these issues about my dad > and that she was taking things out on me and upsetting me. I told her that no > one on the planet could change the past and that what happened happened and > to adjust to it, get on with it and accept it. There isn't anything anyone > could do about things in the past but her and that is to change her attitude > about it, accept it, and quit rehashing what could have been. She said to for me > to send her a bill for counseling. I told her I would. > > I then told her to list 10 things good about my dad. She came up with things > like he was kind, he worked steady, he kept up the house, etc. I then told > her to say 2 good things about me. She did. I told her that she could ride > through life and smell the roses or she could look at the dirt and see the dog > poo. > > She ended by saying that she has a screw loose. She said that she should > have fallen on the part that tightened her loose screw instead of her kneecap. > She's high-functioning, KOs. We laughed a little but still it was tense. She > thinks she is getting Alzheimers but I disagree because she it getting > *better*. I told her that it didn't matter what 'it' was; Alzheimers, diabetes, BPD, > OCD, NPD, kneecap--- it how she treats me and how she upsets me. A rage by > any other name is still a rage. > > I noticed she set her own boundaries this time. A first. She said she was > only going to stay on the phone for a half hour. We went over a little. But, > she then remembered how I like to watch my soap and she got off before then. > She also asked me not to talk about some trouble my cousin is in and I > respected that boundary of hers and backed off. She kept on going and noticed that > herself. Sometimes it's 'monkey see, monkey do' with my nada. She has to copy > my example. Sometimes it's just monkey doo doo. <smirking at nada>. > > Still moving and progressing in Oz. Fifty-five years of this. > > ((((((ModOasis))))))) > > ((((((Rita))))))) I always give myself a hug. I take care of myself too. > > Wuvs you all, > > Rita > > " And she'll have fun, fun, fun 'till her daddy takes the keyboard away " . > Quote
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