Guest guest Posted December 22, 2005 Report Share Posted December 22, 2005 Dee wrote: " She describes it as being sick but when anyone calls it anxiety she says " I don't have anxiety. What is that? " She is elderly and may truly not understand, but I think it is more of a thing of denial. Especially in her generation it was very bad to have anything wrong with you mentally. I wouldn't dream of telling her she has BPD. Your mother is probably younger... " Actually, my mother is 81 and although lots of people would probably say, " Oh, THAT's why she's so cranky " it has nothing to do with it. This has always been her! The thing about aging is though, that she uses her forgetfulness now as an excuse for a lot of what she does or doesn't do. Her constant cry is that " Everything is too much for me! " but that can mean a phone that rings when she doesn't want it to, or one that doesn't when she DOES want it to. I have come to call this the " World According to " . She really acts as if the world revolves around her. One Non-BP Recovering Man wrote: " I DON’T think you sound “angry and bitter.†To me, you sound FRUSTRATED. " Thank you, thank you, thank you! People that understand! What a fabulous Christmas present for me! I'm glad I'm here too! Flea wrote: " But in terms of setting boundaries and telling your nada " I feel such-and-such when you do such-and-such behavior, and as a result, this is what I need to do, " I think most KOs agree that that can be helpful or self-protective.... But I think most would agree, it doesn't do a bit of good to tell them they have BPD. " That's what I figured! I know my nada thinks she is perfectly " normal " . The very suggestion, which I admit I had made over the years, that she might need medication to make HER life better, is met with fury! cb wrote: " He's always told me to " be a nag " if he doesn't do what I ask, but I hate the Implication that I am a nag. Does that make sense? I told him that I don't want to be that way, and told him that instead of asking me to nag him, to ask me to " voice my displeasure " . Haha " I think it is nice that your dh wants you to communicate with him. However, I really do not like the term " nag " . If you think about it, if (in this case) the man, would just do what we asked the first time, there would never be any need to ask again, or " nag " . So, since the man is lax, how did the woman end up being called an unflattering name? Alice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 22, 2005 Report Share Posted December 22, 2005 > > Actually, my mother is 81 and although lots of people would probably say, > " Oh, THAT's why she's so cranky " it has nothing to do with it. This has always > been her! The thing about aging is though, that she uses her forgetfulness now > as an excuse for a lot of what she does or doesn't do. I know what you mean. I had friends say to me just to remember that she isn't really my mother, not the one I had growing up, now that she is old. I always think, Oh yeah! She's always been this way. Admittedly she is much worse with age, but the self absorption, manipulation, guilt, and intrusivness were always a part of her. It is just such a relief to understand why I have always resented her and felt I had to keep her at arms length. I am finally free to have my own opinions, do my own thing and think my own thoughts without guilt. My mom is 96. Dee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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