Boundaries are hard.

[Guest guest]

hello all.

I have disappeared for a little while because of my own personal nada drama I

have definitely not felt like I should be giving encouragement or advice to

anyone else. Things have been a bit hairy the last couple of weeks - enough so

that I have an appointment with my P and with my T on Monday.

I set a new boundary with nada that said not to call and leave depressed,

crying, and/or guilt ridden messages on anything. The only retaliation I

received was her fake crying and pretending to not be seen in front of me to try

and make me feel bad and try to manipulate me into drawing it out of her. I set

a new boundary with fada that involved him not calling me and asking me to fix

nada when she is depressed and suicidal. I have also made extra effort to spend

time rebuilding my relationship with my brother and sister in law, as siblings

rather than a parent role. All of these things SHOULD be a positive.

The result has been my fada becomming more depressed, and nada heading for my

brother instead. Instead of calling me to discuss their financial woes like she

usually does, she called him - bawling, hysterical, and with a huge guilt trip

of course. I got a call from my brother about it, and it temporarily sent me

over the edge and back to square one. But I put my daughter down for a nap and

sat down on the stairs where I prayed FERVENTLY because I had no idea what

direction to go. What if both parents are suicidal and one actually does it?

What if they end up on the street and need a place to live? What if my brother

begins to be the one to bear it all because of my boundaries and our newly

rekindled relationship is trampled? I was at a loss and desperately frantic.

Praise God for His grace because He calmed and helped me to see through the

darkness. My brother and sister in law did not know what to do, and their only

thoughts were to sit my parents down and go

over finances and threaten to take them to court and get power of attorney over

them. AGH! What does one do with mentally ill parents who are financially

irresponsible and wants their children to bail them out??? What a burden they

have become. I was finally able to step back and say to myself 'wait a minute -

nada is trying to get bro. to play the game she cant play with me'. So I called

him back and tried my best to empower him. Call her back, I told him, and say

" Dont call me behind dad's back. Be a wife. After you tell him you called me

you can then let me know what you guys want to do and how we can help. " I

begged him not to play her game, and he made me promise I would resist every

urge to call them and get involved. I wish they would divorce. Is that a

horrible thing to pray for?

Thanks for listening. Wish we could move and not give a forwarding address.

BUtifulGrace

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