Re: question about splitting

[Guest guest]

I learned about splitting by reading about it in one of those books usually

suggested, but can't remember which one at the moment. Probably " Stop

WAlking on Eggshells " or " Emotional Blackmail "

You'll know you are split black by nada when she pretty much is painting you

up to be the bad guy. So, if she is telling you things like how you are so

selfish or how could you treat your mother this way, or she tells you she

has asked everyone on the planet their opinion and they all can't understand

why a daugher would be so mean to her mother, that's when you are split

black. When she does a distortion campaign on you telling people how you

are mean and unappreciative, you are split black while nada is trying to

score votes of agreement with her.

You are split white when nada either wants to act all nicey nicey such as

when she tries to hoover you back in to being in a relationship with her or

for some strange reason just isn't making you out to be the bad guy at the

moment. If you happen to be doing everything nada commands you do then she

may split you white. But once you foul something up according to her

opinion, which, as we all know, counts way more than anyone else's opinion,

then she may split you black again.

Now when I was a kid, I was split white most of the time. I was overly

compliant. I was always trying to keep nada happy. So I tried to second

guess what to do. For instance, I always dusted house, folded clothes,

washed dishes, etc. without nada even having to ask me to do it. My

sister, on the other hand, did not. So nada split me white and sister was

split black. I always did things nada's way, and sister did not. So I was

white, sister black. When I went into a severe depression in my teen years,

that's when I started to be split black b/c then I was not doing things

nada's way. So my sister started to be split white b/c she would go with

nada to spy on me and my boyfriends or whatever. Not that sister wanted to

go, but nada made her.

When my daughter was born and nada got to take care of the baby a lot, I was

split white again. When daughter was around the age of 7 and I got tired

of nada acting like she was nada's kid instead of mine, I started to be

verbal about that, so I started to be split black again. When I finally

was about to move out of nada's house when my daughter was 13, I was split

so black you wouldn't know there were other colors that existed. Then I

may have been white off and on. At the moment I am split black again.

So, yes, you can go back and forth and it can last a long while or it can be

fairly rapid.

Pretty much if you kiss up to nada and her demands, you can be split white.

If you don't, you are black. There may be other times when nadas split

someone white, but I can't think of any right now. That's the best way I can

explain it so far.

Theresa

>

> Hi KO s

>

> How does splitting work? Not for nada, but for me. How was I effected

> by splitting?

>

> As a child of a BP are you either white or black forever?

>

> Or, can you be split black one day and white one day? Or, even, switch

> back and forth within one day?

>

> How do I know what is black and white from her to me?

>

> I know KOs will understand, that crazy therapist I tried to see started

> explaining to me that nada's childhood was bad and her mother was too mean

> to her as a baby. Like I need to understand nada at all. I want to learn

> about ME and how it all effected ME.

>

> Katrina.

>

>

>

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