Re: To Kerrie

[Guest guest]

Oh Kerrie. How kind you are. Thank you for your unconditional acceptance

.... it is really hard to realize how prevalent this is; how many women find

themselves the recipient of STDs, only to be accused of being promiscuous? I

am

so, so angry at my own ignorance. How could I be so trusting, for so long;

I know better.

Yes, Heartburn is one of my favorite movies. She was pure, trusting, and

sacrificed her independence for 'the relationship'...how more sad does it get?

Carol

In a message dated 6/3/2006 11:52:17 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

lonewolfe30@... writes:

OMG Carol! I am soooo soooo sorry to hear this. I can only imagine

how absolutely horrified and pissed off you must be feeling right

now. I know I'd feel a lot like Loraina Bobbit if I were in your

shoes. I truly feel absolutely devestated for you. This is like one

of the worst things a married person could ever face. I truly can not

imagine how hard this must be for you and what you are going through

emotionally. Do you have any good girlfriends in the area to take you

out for drinks or something? A friend you can confide in and cry on

their shoulder and just have some good husband bashing conversation

with who'll truly be a good friend? I just can't fathom that kind of

news. My bestfriend got a living std - how shall I say it- same name

as a sea animal- from a toilet seat on her long drive back home from

Florida (she stopped some where near New Orleans and has vowed never

to take I-10 through LA again in her life). She was single at the

time and soooo not remotely the type to sleep around or anything and

so when she told me, I had no doubt she caught it from a toilet and

it was just shocking. I felt so niave- like I had no idea that could

happen. We were both in college at the time (different colleges

though and we stayed in touch online and it was soo weird getting

that kind of email- kind of the thing I'd want to talk to my

bestfriend on the phone with at minimum). Have you ever seen the

movie " Heartburn " with Merril Strepp and Jack ? You should

sooo rent that about now and have a good cry. I've not seen it in

years, but it exactly the story line you are going through right now

and I don't know why, but that movie always hit me in a soft spot-

like the loss of innocence as one enters middle age and life starts

seriously unfurling.

I'm not a big fan of divorce, but this is one of the primary reasons

I encourage it w/some bps over at the non-Christian board. Most of

them understand and/or are divorced, but seriously, I don't think

this is right at all. Some stds are fatal and I've had friends die

from them and so I would never in a million years want someone to go

through the things I've seen. Its absolutely horrifying and in these

cases, avoidable. Take care of yourself and leave him yesterday. You

can do it. You know you can. You are worth soooo much more than this

crap. Man or woman, no one deserves this kind of bs- not that any

kind of bs from a borderline is ever tolerable, but this is just

messed up girlfriend! I don't know how you're sane enough to even

type right now. I'd be so over the top livid I couldn't think

straight, much less be as articulate as you are. Your coping

mechanisms are extraordinairy! Either that or denial is helping you,

which is a good coping mechanism sometimes, but not for a way of life.

Some of the things you said reminded me of that X-bp fiance I told

you about that I almost married. When I moved out on my own, I

realized I'd probably been codependant for a while- not severely, but

had gotten more so that way since I lived w/nada and was engaged to

that bp and believed a lot of their brainwashing garbage. I remember

one day after moving out and living on my own- completely on my own-

writing a short story about how if I never fell in love again or ever

got married or any of that jazz, i was totally content with that

prospect. I had my cat, my dog, my fish and a lot of plants an

occassional bird that would nest in my plants. It was so nice to

stand on my own two feet and be happy with just me- not just me, but

totally me. I felt a sense of peace, a peace that really hasn't not

altered that much since 1997 but only grown more and more grounded in

reality as the years pass. I'm not perfect and its even harder to

live in peace w/multiple people under one roof, but I am glad I found

out who I was after those bps and became comfortable w/me before I

moved on to any other relationships. The bp can truly brainwash a

person into believing that they are as good as it gets, and to me,

I'd rather be alone than w/anyone that thinks they are the best I'll

ever get. My husband doesn't even say that kind of crap to me (nor I

to him- how arrogant?).

Anyways, My heart aches for you right now. I hope you can take care

of yourself. Please keep us posted as to how you're doing. I would be

so all over the place. Again, try to take care of you and do whatever

you need to do (within the law- the Loraina Bobbit thing is a

fantasy - a nice thought of vengence, but not something to seriously

ever do) to get you through.

Kerrie