Re: More Neighbor Stuff

[Guest guest]

Hi Lizzy,

It sounds like there is so much going on with them and so many things

could go wrong for you and yours, if it was me, I'd have as little as

possible to do with them. Polite but distant.

One Non-BP Recovering Man

--- lizzyboo81 wrote:

> Hi all!!!! Well you know I posted before about the neighbor who had

> a problem with the " Mexican " . It just so happened I have not talked

> to her much after that because of the fact that my mother-in-law

> came to town and so did sister-in-law. So now the other day I was

> outside after the in-laws left and her hubby pulled up to me in his

> truck to talk about nothing and I really mean nothing. He said his

> kids saw my kids from far away. And then sat there smiling.

> Allrighty then. Later he walks down a couple more times to talk

> about nothing or not much. Ok whatever. During one conversation

> about not much he said to me his wife is fragile and made of glass

> if she doesn't talk to the neighbors for a few days she will break

> and think something is wrong. This sounds strange to me. He is kind

> of the yes dear kind of guy and she is the do this now kind of lady.

> The longer I am their neighbor the more I hear shouting in the yard.

> So then he tells me (after she did of course) how his wife's week

> was so hard because his brother died (side note isn't it worse for

> the person who lost their sibling and not sibling-in-law?) and her

> brother has this and they have money problems and blablabla. I like

> them both, I do but they seem odd to me. His wife mentioned that she

> and the youngest son 3 have OCD I am unsure if it was formal

> diagnosis or if she was just saying that. Sometimes she won't wave

> and acts cold and the next minute she is a little overly friendly.

> He keeps coming over to talk to me not my husband. So much this week

> that last night he was on his way over to talk to me and my husband

> happened to be coming home and interceded I didn't even see the

> neighbor walk up and I went out to greet hubby with a kiss and there

> was neighbor. Again it was about petty issues that don't need

> talking over so I went in and hubby dealt with it. My husband thinks

> he has a crush on me. I sure hope he doesn't, for many reasons.

> First DUH I am married and so is he, second I would hate to have

> somebody like a nada mad at me again because you know they don't lay

> blame where blame should lay, the list goes on and on. Maybe he just

> is trying to be friendly and is innocent but I do know he is a

> recovering alcoholic and I have seen him drinking a time or 2 is

> that a bad sign? I know when my dad stopped drinking he never drank

> another drop and it was the same with my cousin. It's so annoying I

> would rather hear her bitching about the Mexicans. Any advice? Love

> Lizzy

>

>

>

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

One Non-BP Recovering Man, I wish I could limit it more but it is

easier said than done because our children are best friends and we

live 1 house away so we constantly bump into one another.Plus if I

don't talk then will I put off a bad air? I do however keep

conversation to a minimum, and talk about non important things. If

only hubby could get a new job and we could move but I suppose there

are people like this wherever you go. You just have to learn and

deal the question is how. Thanks for your thoughts Love Lizzy

>

> > Hi all!!!! Well you know I posted before about the neighbor who

had

> > a problem with the " Mexican " . It just so happened I have not

talked

> > to her much after that because of the fact that my mother-in-law

> > came to town and so did sister-in-law. So now the other day I

was

> > outside after the in-laws left and her hubby pulled up to me in

his

> > truck to talk about nothing and I really mean nothing. He said

his

> > kids saw my kids from far away. And then sat there smiling.

> > Allrighty then. Later he walks down a couple more times to talk

> > about nothing or not much. Ok whatever. During one conversation

> > about not much he said to me his wife is fragile and made of

glass

> > if she doesn't talk to the neighbors for a few days she will

break

> > and think something is wrong. This sounds strange to me. He is

kind

> > of the yes dear kind of guy and she is the do this now kind of

lady.

> > The longer I am their neighbor the more I hear shouting in the

yard.

> > So then he tells me (after she did of course) how his wife's

week

> > was so hard because his brother died (side note isn't it worse

for

> > the person who lost their sibling and not sibling-in-law?) and

her

> > brother has this and they have money problems and blablabla. I

like

> > them both, I do but they seem odd to me. His wife mentioned that

she

> > and the youngest son 3 have OCD I am unsure if it was formal

> > diagnosis or if she was just saying that. Sometimes she won't

wave

> > and acts cold and the next minute she is a little overly

friendly.

> > He keeps coming over to talk to me not my husband. So much this

week

> > that last night he was on his way over to talk to me and my

husband

> > happened to be coming home and interceded I didn't even see the

> > neighbor walk up and I went out to greet hubby with a kiss and

there

> > was neighbor. Again it was about petty issues that don't need

> > talking over so I went in and hubby dealt with it. My husband

thinks

> > he has a crush on me. I sure hope he doesn't, for many reasons.

> > First DUH I am married and so is he, second I would hate to have

> > somebody like a nada mad at me again because you know they don't

lay

> > blame where blame should lay, the list goes on and on. Maybe he

just

> > is trying to be friendly and is innocent but I do know he is a

> > recovering alcoholic and I have seen him drinking a time or 2 is

> > that a bad sign? I know when my dad stopped drinking he never

drank

> > another drop and it was the same with my cousin. It's so

annoying I

> > would rather hear her bitching about the Mexicans. Any advice?

Love

> > Lizzy

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Lizzy, last fall, I had a colleague that I felt uncomfortable with

and that I could not manage to escape. He'd come and chat with me

and talk at high speed so I couldn't even get a word in edgewise and

escape. He'd try to get me to accept gifts from him, once I even

allowed him to run an errand for me--I could not believe I did that,

he just threw me off kilter. When I finally did put my foot down

with this guy about gift-giving at work, he was extremely offended

and tried talking about my behind my back etc. But the truly

positive outcome of that is that he didn't even LOOK at me or say

hello for at least 3 months. All I wanted was to be left alone so

it was great.

The thing is, normal, healthy people respect your limits and when

you let them know about your limits and boundaries, they will

usually step off without being too offended. This guy doesn't sound

like the kind of person you should worry too much about offending

really. He is pressing in on your boundaries by comming around all

the time and is making you uncomfortable. You are not required to

be around unhealthy people.

And if he's weird to the point that he will be offended because you

attempt to get a little space for yourself, then perhaps you don't

want your kid around him either.

Trish

> >

> > > Hi all!!!! Well you know I posted before about the neighbor

who

> had

> > > a problem with the " Mexican " . It just so happened I have not

> talked

> > > to her much after that because of the fact that my mother-in-

law

> > > came to town and so did sister-in-law. So now the other day I

> was

> > > outside after the in-laws left and her hubby pulled up to me

in

> his

> > > truck to talk about nothing and I really mean nothing. He said

> his

> > > kids saw my kids from far away. And then sat there smiling.

> > > Allrighty then. Later he walks down a couple more times to

talk

> > > about nothing or not much. Ok whatever. During one

conversation

> > > about not much he said to me his wife is fragile and made of

> glass

> > > if she doesn't talk to the neighbors for a few days she will

> break

> > > and think something is wrong. This sounds strange to me. He is

> kind

> > > of the yes dear kind of guy and she is the do this now kind of

> lady.

> > > The longer I am their neighbor the more I hear shouting in the

> yard.

> > > So then he tells me (after she did of course) how his wife's

> week

> > > was so hard because his brother died (side note isn't it worse

> for

> > > the person who lost their sibling and not sibling-in-law?) and

> her

> > > brother has this and they have money problems and blablabla. I

> like

> > > them both, I do but they seem odd to me. His wife mentioned

that

> she

> > > and the youngest son 3 have OCD I am unsure if it was formal

> > > diagnosis or if she was just saying that. Sometimes she won't

> wave

> > > and acts cold and the next minute she is a little overly

> friendly.

> > > He keeps coming over to talk to me not my husband. So much

this

> week

> > > that last night he was on his way over to talk to me and my

> husband

> > > happened to be coming home and interceded I didn't even see

the

> > > neighbor walk up and I went out to greet hubby with a kiss and

> there

> > > was neighbor. Again it was about petty issues that don't need

> > > talking over so I went in and hubby dealt with it. My husband

> thinks

> > > he has a crush on me. I sure hope he doesn't, for many

reasons.

> > > First DUH I am married and so is he, second I would hate to

have

> > > somebody like a nada mad at me again because you know they

don't

> lay

> > > blame where blame should lay, the list goes on and on. Maybe

he

> just

> > > is trying to be friendly and is innocent but I do know he is a

> > > recovering alcoholic and I have seen him drinking a time or 2

is

> > > that a bad sign? I know when my dad stopped drinking he never

> drank

> > > another drop and it was the same with my cousin. It's so

> annoying I

> > > would rather hear her bitching about the Mexicans. Any advice?

> Love

> > > Lizzy

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> > __________________________________________________

> >

[Guest guest]

Thanks Trish, this makes me feel better to hear your story. I can

listen to that and make a comparison. I am glad you were able to put

your foot down! That guy sounds like a head case! What I have here

is less sever. I just have somebody who on occasion rubs me the

wrong way with off beat comments or a few to many visits w/out the

wife.

I also had a talk with my hubby before bed the other night once the

kids were sleeping and we were able to exchange thoughts and info. I

do know a small bit of their background and so I told him. My

husband told me he felt much more comfortable now knowing their

background a little more.

Honestly I don't think this guy would be the kind to be offended if

I said to back off. Because like I said before he is the " yes dear "

kind of guy, I would be more worried of his wife to be honest, he is

a little thing that reminds me of somebody banging on a window for

help. A few of the comments he has made before I felt were

inappropriate to say to me as a woman, it is one thing for a man to

gripe about his wife to another man but not to another woman, it

just seemed strange.

But after hearing your story I don't think I need to worry so much.

I will however not become too friendly with these people. Coffee and

walks with the wife and let the kids play outside does that sound

cordial enough to you? My husband thought that might be a good idea.

Usually I just sit outside with my other neighbor lady everyday and

we have fun talking my husband actually likes it when I talk to her

I guess she doesn't put off bad vibes and she is my age. Thanks for

sharing Trish I appreciate it. Love Lizzy

> > >

> > > > Hi all!!!! Well you know I posted before about the neighbor

> who

> > had

> > > > a problem with the " Mexican " . It just so happened I have

not

> > talked

> > > > to her much after that because of the fact that my mother-in-

> law

> > > > came to town and so did sister-in-law. So now the other day

I

> > was

> > > > outside after the in-laws left and her hubby pulled up to me

> in

> > his

> > > > truck to talk about nothing and I really mean nothing. He

said

> > his

> > > > kids saw my kids from far away. And then sat there smiling.

> > > > Allrighty then. Later he walks down a couple more times to

> talk

> > > > about nothing or not much. Ok whatever. During one

> conversation

> > > > about not much he said to me his wife is fragile and made of

> > glass

> > > > if she doesn't talk to the neighbors for a few days she will

> > break

> > > > and think something is wrong. This sounds strange to me. He

is

> > kind

> > > > of the yes dear kind of guy and she is the do this now kind

of

> > lady.

> > > > The longer I am their neighbor the more I hear shouting in

the

> > yard.

> > > > So then he tells me (after she did of course) how his wife's

> > week

> > > > was so hard because his brother died (side note isn't it

worse

> > for

> > > > the person who lost their sibling and not sibling-in-law?)

and

> > her

> > > > brother has this and they have money problems and blablabla.

I

> > like

> > > > them both, I do but they seem odd to me. His wife mentioned

> that

> > she

> > > > and the youngest son 3 have OCD I am unsure if it was formal

> > > > diagnosis or if she was just saying that. Sometimes she

won't

> > wave

> > > > and acts cold and the next minute she is a little overly

> > friendly.

> > > > He keeps coming over to talk to me not my husband. So much

> this

> > week

> > > > that last night he was on his way over to talk to me and my

> > husband

> > > > happened to be coming home and interceded I didn't even see

> the

> > > > neighbor walk up and I went out to greet hubby with a kiss

and

> > there

> > > > was neighbor. Again it was about petty issues that don't

need

> > > > talking over so I went in and hubby dealt with it. My

husband

> > thinks

> > > > he has a crush on me. I sure hope he doesn't, for many

> reasons.

> > > > First DUH I am married and so is he, second I would hate to

> have

> > > > somebody like a nada mad at me again because you know they

> don't

> > lay

> > > > blame where blame should lay, the list goes on and on. Maybe

> he

> > just

> > > > is trying to be friendly and is innocent but I do know he is

a

> > > > recovering alcoholic and I have seen him drinking a time or

2

> is

> > > > that a bad sign? I know when my dad stopped drinking he

never

> > drank

> > > > another drop and it was the same with my cousin. It's so

> > annoying I

> > > > would rather hear her bitching about the Mexicans. Any

advice?

> > Love

> > > > Lizzy

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > > __________________________________________________

> > >