Re: Posting in picturetrail the scary truth of my girls

[Guest guest]

Omg 12 hour later and Im actually crying. Thank you for the

letters..all of you. I woke up this morning just as depressed as I

went to bed last night. You know I realize all the things that each

of you are saying. I am blessed with the way Ive been doing and what

is left to work with. My path is a lot easier than most following a

life of obesity. But it doesn't change the disappointment. My

fiancee would be yelling at me too if he knew I was sitting here

emotional about this. But ITS MY WEDDING DAY! Its the one day in my

life I want to look as perfect as I feel. Im the only one that cares

and maybe by next year it wont be there. But putting on my dress,

with all my excitement and happiness and having it too small just

brought back a WHOLLLLLLLLLE lotta emotional issues Ive felt for the

last 20 yrs. I know the logic in it. But it doesn't change the fact

that the dress just looks horrible on me and I didn't expect it to

be that way. I suspect by this time next year I will be able to wear

it, after having it altered..but then maybe I no longer want to.

Maybe I will turn this around into more fun and GO SHOPPING! LOL

Several have asked me about returning it. I dont believe that is an

option. I bought it online without ever asking about the return

policy. The dress was made to my specifications..altho it didn't

come out that way, and was ordered from out of country. It is a $600

dress I paid all of $140. I can dispose of it and it wouldn't be a

big financial loss..its the emotional end of being excited about it,

then having it too small and look horrible on me, that just flooded

me with the old feelings. Im working on that. Ive been working on

healing myself emotionally for years now. Im going to contact the

woman I ordered it from and see what she has to say. But I can't

imagine with the cost of that dress, that she has enough room to

order me another one.

As for my body image...Im so difficult to live with anymore LOL My

family when they haven't seen me for a month, calls me up (this was

yesturday and it was my father) and asks me to dinner. He heard from

his secretary that I stopped by his office to ask him to dinner and

I was strutting my stuff looking all hot. He had to see for himself

LOL For the first time in my life, when I get dressed I feel GOOD! I

would feel a lot better without prune tits. LOL I would still take

this body anyday over my last tho. I just want to be radiant and

sexy on my wedding day and how can I feel sexy when my boobs hang to

my belly button LOL OK OK I will keep working on my own body image

issues!

Katharine

[Guest guest]

LMAO there's just something about my ass. You are not the first to

say that lol In fact, it seems to be a focal point for many hahaha

ESPECIALLY my sweetie.

Kat

[Guest guest]

Katharine,

I can only imagine how you must be feeling. But at the same time, I'm

imagining that I'm with you, giving you big hugs and hankies.

This is your big day; please try to focus on the most important

reasons this day exists (love and LIFE!)...the dress is a small,

albeit symbolic, part of the real reason for the day...not unlike a

Christmas tree for Christmas. I know it's easier said than done, but

in the end, what you're likely to remember most are the feelings of

love and support given to you on this special day.

A personal story: When I got married in January of '03, I was too

busy, too poor, and too fat to buy a wedding dress. We got married in

an intimate (4-person) ceremony in Santa Barbara, and I wore...a

black pantsuit! Can you imagine? What was I thinking? Truth is, I

wasn't. Even on that happiest of days, I was numbed by my weight. Had

I to do it over again, I'd have tried harder to find a more suitable

(and sexy) outfit, but the day was one of my happiest, nonetheless. I

don't know if there's any truth or wisdom in that story, but maybe

some comfort in knowing you're not alone...

((((hugs))))

Melody (aka Biking One on OH)

>

> Omg 12 hour later and Im actually crying. Thank you for the

> letters..all of you. I woke up this morning just as depressed as I

> went to bed last night. You know I realize all the things that each

> of you are saying. I am blessed with the way Ive been doing and

what

> is left to work with. My path is a lot easier than most following a

> life of obesity. But it doesn't change the disappointment. My

> fiancee would be yelling at me too if he knew I was sitting here

> emotional about this. But ITS MY WEDDING DAY! Its the one day in my

> life I want to look as perfect as I feel. Im the only one that

cares

> and maybe by next year it wont be there. But putting on my dress,

> with all my excitement and happiness and having it too small just

> brought back a WHOLLLLLLLLLE lotta emotional issues Ive felt for

the

> last 20 yrs. I know the logic in it. But it doesn't change the fact

> that the dress just looks horrible on me and I didn't expect it to

> be that way. I suspect by this time next year I will be able to

wear

> it, after having it altered..but then maybe I no longer want to.

> Maybe I will turn this around into more fun and GO SHOPPING! LOL

>

> Several have asked me about returning it. I dont believe that is an

> option. I bought it online without ever asking about the return

> policy. The dress was made to my specifications..altho it didn't

> come out that way, and was ordered from out of country. It is a

$600

> dress I paid all of $140. I can dispose of it and it wouldn't be a

> big financial loss..its the emotional end of being excited about

it,

> then having it too small and look horrible on me, that just flooded

> me with the old feelings. Im working on that. Ive been working on

> healing myself emotionally for years now. Im going to contact the

> woman I ordered it from and see what she has to say. But I can't

> imagine with the cost of that dress, that she has enough room to

> order me another one.

>

> As for my body image...Im so difficult to live with anymore LOL My

> family when they haven't seen me for a month, calls me up (this was

> yesturday and it was my father) and asks me to dinner. He heard

from

> his secretary that I stopped by his office to ask him to dinner and

> I was strutting my stuff looking all hot. He had to see for himself

> LOL For the first time in my life, when I get dressed I feel GOOD!

I

> would feel a lot better without prune tits. LOL I would still take

> this body anyday over my last tho. I just want to be radiant and

> sexy on my wedding day and how can I feel sexy when my boobs hang

to

> my belly button LOL OK OK I will keep working on my own body image

> issues!

>

> Katharine

[Guest guest]

Kat,

I understand completely. Up until a couple of weeks ago I was so happy

with my loss that I thought I looked great in almost everything I tried

on. I was dancing out of fitting rooms. Then I hit this plateau and even

gained a couple of pounds. (darned scale is still bouncing!) When I went

shopping this week I hated everything. Suddenly my ass seemed saggier my

tummy bulgier and my thighs thicker. Am I really that much bigger - of

course not! But as you say the idea that I had gained just brought back

all my old emotions and behaviors from pre-WLS - first of all utter

PANIC, then hating myself, hating the way I look, thinking I can NEVER

lose any more weight, and worst of all, the impulse to run for comfort

food.

Luckily I've got the support for the first time in my life of others who

have been and continue to go through the same thing.

Just hold on to the fact that the dress is too small for you because

it's too small, not because you are too big! Whether you keep this one

or get another you're still going to be a beautiful bride!

Carol

But putting on my dress,

with all my excitement and happiness and having it too small just

brought back a WHOLLLLLLLLLE lotta emotional issues Ive felt for the

last 20 yrs. I know the logic in it. But it doesn't change the fact

that the dress just looks horrible on me and I didn't expect it to

be that way.

[Guest guest]

I absolutely agree, and I'm willing to bet (from personal experience)

that a plastic surgeon would count you among those with the least

affected with skin and droopage issues.

On a related topic, I encourage you to consider researching a variety

of plastic surgeons (style, technique, results) before settling on

any one of 'em.

Hope this bolstered your mood, if not your boobies!

Melody

Aka Biking One on OH

> >

> > Ok I finally did it. After putting myself in that wedding gown

and

> > being horribly disappointed, I decided it was time to take the

> > photos of the breasts. The last ones I took for my full monty

folder

> > didn't quite show how BAD the girls are!! I PRAY TO GOD that I

can

> > get them fixed. Is anyone else suffering from this issue this

badly?

> > What am I going to do in another 10#s?? I need a fantastic

> > surgeon. Im hoping to get Dr. Katzen to work on me.

> >

> > http://www.picturetrail.com/kats_wljourney

> > FULL MONTY ..warning graphic nudity

> > password: fullmonty77

> >

> > I figure there aren't many members here..posting the password is

> > probably safe LOL Watch my pics come up on scaryestboobies.com or

> > some crap like that LMAO

> >

> > Kat