Re: What has helped me? --

[Guest guest]

,

Thanks for sharing these things. Keep coming back.

One Non-BP Recovering Man

--- garyniemen wrote:

> Hi there,

> I believe that I am on the way to healing from the effects of a

> bordeline mother

> and absent father - or what I like to say nowadays, being bullied by my

> mother

> for most of my life. Finally, at the age of 40 I am beginning to feel

> that perhaps

> I am no longer scared of her - no longer scared of what she can do to

> me.

> Although my brother seems to have picked up the baton recently and I do

> feel

> scared of him still. I just wanted to write here and list a couple of

> things that

> helped me along the way - not that these things will necessarily help

> others. It

> is more to share and perhaps find out what has helped others on their

> journey

> towards healing. And, just to add, I am not there yet - it is, perhaps,

> impossible

> to completely heal.

> 1) I have been fortunate to have a loving long term relationship with a

> grounded, sensible, stable, and loving individual. This has been the

> greatest

> help.

> 2) I have been fortunate to have a child with the above mentioned person

> - a

> son who shows me a lot of love and who shows me when I am screwing up.

> 3) Confronting my mother and telling her my truth, my story. Some might

> see

> this as cruel but , in the end, I had to do it. I had tried everything

> else. I did it by

> email - not in person. Having a supportive and understanding partner

> helped

> here.

> 4) I have been fortunate to have re-established contact with my father

> and

> built up some kind of relationship. He's not so bad and we are quite

> similar in

> some ways. He was able to confirm some of my stories about when I was

> young.

> 5) Breathwork - sometimes called Rebirthing. I have found this very

> useful as

> one is able to access pre-verbal material. I have been able to

> experience very

> painful feelings concerning my mother during these sessions. I was lucky

> to

> find a very loving and experienced breath therapist.

> 6) Byron 's The Work - but I had to be very careful to ground this

> in

> feelings. Otherwise, it is sooo easy to go into the thinking and deny

> the

> feelings - and this is dangerous for people like us.

> Just wanted to share all this - interested in what others think.

> Best regards

>

>

>

>

>

>

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