Re: New to this list....

[Guest guest]

MJ,

Thanks for sharing. Keep posting. Keep coming back.

One Non-BP Recovering Man

--- jojojul2000 wrote:

> I have been posting at WTO for a few weeks.... about my mother who

> exibits all traits of BPD. Have read SWOES, and UTM both very

> informative but not as helpful as sharing stories... and seeing that

> my situation w/ mother is not unique. MY nada, as you call her here,

> is: 71 years old, she is a Queen, Witch with a twist of the Waif.

>

> Since I was a teenager I knew something was wrong with this woman.

> Got married at 19 to escape the insanity. Married a man who turned

> out to be an alcoholic, NP. Gee, I wonder why? Stayed married for 20

> years and had two beautiful sons. Divorced him since he didn't want

> to change: stop drinking and get therapy. I wanted to change...didn't

> want my sons to grow up in dysfunction. Went to Al-Anon ( I still

> do ), sought counseling, read books on Codependency, Spirituality,

> Toxic People, BPD, etc, made life long friends to support

> my " recovery. " My life had become " manageable " till I reluctantly

> invited my mother back into my home in October of last year. She

> needed hip surgery and since she is a US citizen, ( has full medical

> coverage here) and lives in Europe ( by choice ), I took her in. My

> only brother does not want to have anything to do with her. Who can

> blame him! Life in the past 6 months has been a " nightmare. " This

> woman, is mean spirited, impossible to please, constantly raging, full

> of anger and hate. She dislikes all my friends, puts people down,

> doesn't trust anyone! I'm no saint by no means, I have tried to keep

> my boundaries in place but when she pushes my RED buttons, I have said

> some pretty awful things (true) but still awful. I guess I recognized

> that by lowering my self to her level I become like her, which gives

> her " false validation " that I deserve to be verbally, emotionally

> abused as always...

>

> Since I been posting, I have re-established my boundaries with her.

> Oh, she tries to engage me, but I won't allow it! I have to

> constantly remind myself she is going back home ( for good this time)

> in a couple of weeks. I want my life back!

> I must admit I feel depressed and drained from all her abusive

> behavior but she hasn't killed my " spirit. " I have decided the best

> thing to do is NC with her.

>

> Thanks for letting me vent and not feeling so unique in this madness.

>

> Gratefully,

>

> MJ :-)

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