Guest guest Posted March 1, 2010 Report Share Posted March 1, 2010 Ooh, , Hate to tell you, but your post came out in a pale green that was almost indecipherable. See below. Ron. ----- Original Message ----- From: Ron H. Subject: RE: [aspires-relationsh ips] re gut feeling Ron: Further in the latter part of your paragraph, you speak of NTs reading YOUR expressions. I find that NTs most frequently get my expressions (or lack of them) quite wrong. Jennie: Yes! Most often they get me wrong because they assume they can interpret what they see from the same standpoint as everyone else. : I have had plenty of cascades of errors start from things like this But also because my true reaction can be so microscopic you have to really be paying attention to see it. This I know from watching myself in the mirror to see for myself what shows on my face while feeling certain emotions. Also I can remember exactly how my face muscles feel during any given emotional response and replicate that. From this I have learned it doesn't show even a quarter as much as it feels to me. What felt like an overreaction to me was actually only slightly visible in actual muscle movement in my face. I think this may be in part because I have overly sensitive nerves, thus feel my face/body moving even when it's only a microscopic amount. Where as other people don't seem to be aware of even their own movements until they are stronger & more apparent. : Jennie, You have really good control of your facial muscles, and you have really good ability to read your own expressions (this took me till pretty recently to do, for all but the most simple emotions). I am impressed! : Ron, I am impressed as well- but know you are an actor, so expect this. I cannot hide my emotion except if I actually think of something else entirely, so if I am thinking of something that will actually show on my face as upset or angry and might confuse an NS, I have learned to turn away. I would like to have more control over my face, or alternatively, a quick way to explain, convincingly, the truth that I am thinking of something unrelated and it bothered me years ago, but this is not directed at (person seeing my face), so please don't take it that way. Ron: So many of us AS folk don’t have expressions that match our inner feelings. : Mine match pretty well, but then, since I am delayed in processing emotion, they might be feelings about something that happened ten minutes ago- or two weeks ago- so asking if it is current and accurate will help. Jennie: That also! I can be feeling sympathetic but my facial expression (apparently) is showing coldness/lack of caring. Ron: That’s why it’s often just so important for the NTs in our lives to take notice of the first and probably most spontaneous things that we say about issues. That is when the truth is most apparent. If we are involved in a discussion, our stated opinions can waver about a bit and sound confusion. In emotional confrontations, we may finish up saying things that don’t represent our real feelings. Listen to what we first say in the unguarded or relaxed and honest moment. Not wise at all to watch what we do or how we look. Jennie: That's a good point, the more spontaneous, however small it is, is likely the most accurate representation. Watching what we do behaviorally would have to be a long term thing that is interpreted in the context of our life as a whole. : Of course, it would be easier just to ask us! Jennie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 1, 2010 Report Share Posted March 1, 2010 Just a thought.... If folks would just post in " plain text " , then everyone, everywhere can read it. The less formatting, the better. Best, ~CJ Princess wrote: > > > Ron, > > I hate when that happens: I will make it a different color, so that > your screen will pick it up better. Please let me know if you cannot > read it and I will try black with a different font, or something. > > Best regards, > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 1, 2010 Report Share Posted March 1, 2010 Ron,I hate when that happens: I will make it a different color, so that your screen will pick it up better. Please let me know if you cannot read it and I will try black with a different font, or something.Best regards,To: aspires-relationships Sent: Sun, February 28, 2010 8:13:41 PMSubject: RE: , your post. Ooh, , Hate to tell you, but your post came out in a pale green that was almost indecipherable. See below. Ron. ----- Original Message ----- From: Ron H. Subject: RE: [aspires-relationsh ips] re gut feeling Ron: Further in the latter part of your paragraph, you speak of NTs reading YOUR expressions. I find that NTs most frequently get my expressions (or lack of them) quite wrong. Jennie: Yes! Most often they get me wrong because they assume they can interpret what they see from the same standpoint as everyone else. : I have had plenty of cascades of errors start from things like this But also because my true reaction can be so microscopic you have to really be paying attention to see it. This I know from watching myself in the mirror to see for myself what shows on my face while feeling certain emotions. Also I can remember exactly how my face muscles feel during any given emotional response and replicate that. From this I have learned it doesn't show even a quarter as much as it feels to me. What felt like an overreaction to me was actually only slightly visible in actual muscle movement in my face. I think this may be in part because I have overly sensitive nerves, thus feel my face/body moving even when it's only a microscopic amount. Where as other people don't seem to be aware of even their own movements until they are stronger & more apparent. : Jennie, You have really good control of your facial muscles, and you have really good ability to read your own expressions (this took me till pretty recently to do, for all but the most simple emotions). I am impressed! : Ron, I am impressed as well- but know you are an actor, so expect this. I cannot hide my emotion except if I actually think of something else entirely, so if I am thinking of something that will actually show on my face as upset or angry and might confuse an NS, I have learned to turn away. I would like to have more control over my face, or alternatively, a quick way to explain, convincingly, the truth that I am thinking of something unrelated and it bothered me years ago, but this is not directed at (person seeing my face), so please don't take it that way. Ron: So many of us AS folk don’t have expressions that match our inner feelings. : Mine match pretty well, but then, since I am delayed in processing emotion, they might be feelings about something that happened ten minutes ago- or two weeks ago- so asking if it is current and accurate will help. Jennie: That also! I can be feeling sympathetic but my facial expression (apparently) is showing coldness/lack of caring. Ron: That’s why it’s often just so important for the NTs in our lives to take notice of the first and probably most spontaneous things that we say about issues. That is when the truth is most apparent. If we are involved in a discussion, our stated opinions can waver about a bit and sound confusion. In emotional confrontations, we may finish up saying things that don’t represent our real feelings. Listen to what we first say in the unguarded or relaxed and honest moment. Not wise at all to watch what we do or how we look. Jennie: That's a good point, the more spontaneous, however small it is, is likely the most accurate representation. Watching what we do behaviorally would have to be a long term thing that is interpreted in the context of our life as a whole. : Of course, it would be easier just to ask us! Jennie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.