Re: Not doing well More bad news

[Guest guest]

Thank you so much for the support. I need it. My anger at the doctor

for blackmailing me to go on this is what drives me on. I may end up

in hospital when he finds out. I sure hope not. cant face it in

there again. Oh and the fact im not going to give in because im damn

STUBBORN! I wish i just got withdrawals and wasnt sick on them as

well!

I've been through enough withdrawals to know what these feelings

are. I am seriously having trouble breathing right now, my chest is

tight, breathing shallow and my heart irregular, therefore i am so

dizzy through lack of oxygen my head is killing and i can barely

stand up. The roof of my mouth and gums are bleeding. Woooow arent

medications FUN! lol.

Unfortunately, i am immensely suicidal off of medication (hence for

the desperation in my psychiatrist to tryo to find something that

works, even though he knows i react BADLY!) , but hey...im worse on

it, and i get all the side effects. The weakness is so bad i can

barely hold my head up some days. Ive never been like that...i mean,

i used to have MUSCLES. lol.

Thanks again... i just needed to complain about how i was feeling.

Oh yeah....lots more bad news. I shall be 17 in a month, but looks

like they are going to try to stop me getting my drivers liscence,

due to the fact im seriously mentally ill. Oh and school, the only

thing that kept me going, well it looks like once again, i shall not

be able to rejoin in september, unless i make dramatic improvement

and he can issue them a clean bill of health. So i will lose this

year to the doctors, last year to efexor withdrawal, and the year

before to paxil and social services not wanting me to go. Im

miserable. I love learning, and i loved school. I needed a way out

of my abusive household and now i get no reason to carry on.

Argggggggggh!

lol

Jeni

>

>

> ***I am really sorry that you are having such a rough time.

>

>

> I want you to remember that THE DRUGS ARE DOING THIS TO YOU! This

is not

> YOU thinking these thoughts, it's the drugs. Don't let the drugs

win.

> Don't buy into these thoughts.

>

>

> You are not mentally ill. You are withdrawing from psychotropic

drugs.

>

>

> You are not suicidal. You are experiencing symptoms of withdrawal

from

> psychotropic drugs.

>

>

> Use your anger at the pharmaceutical companies for motivation.

Don't let

> them win! Don't let them keep you from recovering and telling

your story

> far and wide. You have a mission.

>

>

> There is a huge amount of support available here. Please use it.

You CAN

> do this. You're made of very tough stuff.

>

>

> Blessings,

> Kim

[Guest guest]

--- In

Withdrawal_and_Recovery , " lost_melancholy_angel "

> I shall be 17 in a month, but looks

> like they are going to try to stop me getting my drivers liscence,

> due to the fact im seriously mentally ill.

Jeni,

I'm not real familiar with your situation, but have you ever thought

of stopping being so honest with these doctors? When they start

taking our rights away, I think it's time to go into self-protective

mode BIG TIME.

You can turn that honesty toward people you can TRUST. How can you

trust a person, doctor or not, if they mean to take your rights away?

Best wishes,

Melody

[Guest guest]

Oh I stopped telling my doctors ages ago. I tried the honest

approach, because i seriously seriously need help. But it got me in

the mess again. I lied last time to get out of hospital, and i sure

will do it again if i have to. I have someone i can talk to, a very

close friend, who is also trained in psychology etc so i can get the

professional view without putting myself at risk of going through

this again. Unfortunately....i also have a strong will to die and

have had many (unfortunately...failed) attempts. I didnt think what

it would do to my validity of my opinion to the doctors, because i

was planning on dying. And the 'mania' was often so strong that i am

not in a position to lie...which completely sucks. I guess i just

need more practice!!! Isnt it pathetic that we are too scared to get

help and tell the truth when we really need it.

Jeni

>

> Jeni,

>

> I'm not real familiar with your situation, but have you ever

thought

> of stopping being so honest with these doctors? When they start

> taking our rights away, I think it's time to go into self-

protective

> mode BIG TIME.

>

> You can turn that honesty toward people you can TRUST. How can you

> trust a person, doctor or not, if they mean to take your rights

away?

>

> Best wishes,

> Melody