Re: inclusion

[Guest guest]

,

Hi. hope i don't get you all worked up by asking this but here goes. What is

the point of inclusion if the child is not getting what is going on anyway. I

agree being around age appropriate children is better than with children who

will not interact but during the time that the teacher is teaching what would

a severly delayed child be getting out of it other than just sitting in their

chair. Emma would be very delayed compared to the other children even if I

held her back for a few years so perhaps with what you were saying it would

not be appropriate to hold her back.I don't want her though, to be in a

regular classroom if she is going to be forced to sit at a desk and given

inappropriate work to do and listen to a teacher teaching in a structured

classroom manner when that is inappropriate to her skills. I don't disagree

with inclusion. I just do not understand it very well. I seem to remember you

writing about it in a newletter or for the conference (?) I will have to go

back through my papers now that it is something that may pertain to my needs.

Diane,perhaps, would benefit from being left back one year and going to a

regular school with special supports, but I have two more years before I have

to worry about her. I hope that I have not insulted you or . I am very

proud of him and all his accomplishments. I am sure he is a very well rounded

boy. He is lucky to have you guys as his parents and fighting so hard for

everything that is due him.

Looking forward to your reply-but I will be away for a few days

Jen Katapodis-wife to Mike-Mom to our CHaRgErs Emma(41/2) and Diane(3)

[Guest guest]

, if Tim is out of town (out of country that is) and you are managing

3 children all by yourself, you are doing very very well! You sound

entirely coherent

Mom to Kendra

keedy@...

[Guest guest]

Jen,

I am not insulted by your questions at all. I would like to reply to you

in a coherent manner, and as my husband is at the New Zealand charge

conference and I am by myself, I am not very coherent right now. I will

save your message and reply at a later date. , mom to (9)

ChArGE

S. Hartshorne

918 S. Brown St.

Mt. Pleasant, MI

48858

.Hartshorne@...

[Guest guest]

,

I read your letter about 's day. I know this is way off for

Kennedy, but is already something I think about. I'm kind of scared to

have Kennedy fully included with other kids, is it normal for me to feel

that way? I think it might be because she's been through so much that

I'm extra special protective of her. Who knows... I loved reading

about 's day, he sounds like a real go-getter. < I wonder who he

gets that from!??>

Mom to Kennedy 8 mos old CHARGEr, 9, 7, and wife to Graeme

--

Graeme & Weir

gweir@...

http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Palms/5716

[Guest guest]

>From: Jandmkat@...

>

>,

What is

>the point of inclusion if the child is not getting what is going on anyway. I

>agree being around age appropriate children is better than with children who

>will not interact but during the time that the teacher is teaching what would

>a severly delayed child be getting out of it other than just sitting in their

>chair. Emma would be very delayed compared to the other children even if I

>held her back for a few years so perhaps with what you were saying it would

>not be appropriate to hold her back.I don't want her though, to be in a

>regular classroom if she is going to be forced to sit at a desk and given

>inappropriate work to do and listen to a teacher teaching in a structured

>classroom manner when that is inappropriate to her skills. I don't disagree

>with inclusion. I just do not understand it very well.

Jen,

Let me describe what 's day is like. Maybe that will help. Keep in

mind that he is deaf-blind and has severe developmental delays, but is in a

fourth grade classroom. He understands a few signs, and gives two back.

Just so you know what we are dealing with.

gets off the bus and goes to the playground with his aide, to

wait for the bell to ring with the other kids. At that time, his friends

greet him and always crowd around him. ( is not really very social,

but they love him all the same). He goes to his locker, where he works on

the goals of opening the door, taking his coat off and hanging it up,

hanging up his pack, putting on his aids and glasses. He closes it and

goes to the classroom and sits down. He is given the " lunch count " to take

to the office with another student assisting him. He then goes to the

bathroom, and has a tube feeding in the cafeteria. Then comes his speech

session. After speech, he goes back to the room and does some work tasks

with his aide, alongside the other kids. He does curricularly similar

tasks. For instance, if the other kids are working on multiplication for

math, may be patterning with blocks, or matching objects to numbers.

When they are doing creative writing, he is learning to hold a pencil and

make marks, and trace his name. You get the point. He goes to recess,

gym, lunch (where he is tube fed sitting next to his friends), art, music,

and library with his class. Each of these " specials " has been adapted as

in the classroom. In art, he may fingerpaint. In Gym he actually gets PT.

In music he may bang a drum or just work on hearing things when the others

are singing. He always participates in the concerts in some way. In

library, he checks out picture books or books with textures. The point is,

he is with the others, and they are glad he is there. If you asked his

circle of friends " why " , they would say " he should be with kids his age. "

and be adamant about it. We talked about the possiblity presented to us

that he could move to a special ed. class and the kids got very angry about

it. They see this move as the adults' problem with acceptance and

intolerance, not there. When is noisy, they are so used to it, they

ignore it. These are just some examples. It is educationally sound,

because frankly, he is getting a MORE individualized program here than he

would in a classroom for kids with severe disabilities. He has one on one,

and a team that works hard to continue to upgrade his lessons to meet his

needs. Very few SXI rooms have worked that hard for one kid.

It is socially sound because he is interacting and is a full part

of his natural community. These kids will grow up to be leaders in our

community, and will be the ones that hire him, assist him, care for him,

and continue to befriend him. It may be hard to believe, but there are

some kids in his Circle that are DEEPLY attached to him. Some of these are

fifth grade girls, even. (You know how and callous they can sometimes be

with each other at that age).

It is morally sound because belongs, as does everyone. Some

see this as a social justice, even a civil rights issue. The TASH

organization espouses full inclusion in this way. " All means All " . They

say that the only criteria for inclusion is that a person be breathing. And

even then, it may be with a machine.

goes to church school with his peers, and is a Webelos scout

this year. He just earned his first Webelos badge, the communicator badge,

no less!!! (smile)

I know not everyone agrees with this stand. This is how I feel

about it. I have read tons and tons and been to lots and lots of

conferences on whyit should be done and how it is done effectively. My

strong feeling is that if it is failing, then something is not happening

that should be. Placing a kid in a classroom without the proper supports

needed is NOT inclusion. It is DUMPING.

Okay, some of you have heard all of this before. I DO have four

years of successful experience behind me this time.

Okay, enough preaching. I'm done. Inclusion has gotten such a bad

name because of places where it is not being done right. If anyone wants

more info on how it can be done right, call or email me. I will be happy

to speak with you. My goal, when I finish my PhD is to become an inclusion

consultant for a school district. Okay, so you may think I am a bit of a

fanatic. But when I ask our deaf-blind consultant how long she thinks we

can keep this up for , she says Junior College, and she is dead

serious! Just my two (maybe more than two) cents! , mom to (9)

ChArGE

S. Hartshorne

918 S. Brown St.

Mt. Pleasant, MI

48858

.Hartshorne@...

[Guest guest]

Jen:

I agree with you about being against inclusion. However, two stories to

help make 's point.

1) At a meeting an pro-inclusion education-rights attorney said

something which I found very profound. When mentally challenged adults

are in the job world the ones that can't keep a job down lose their job

because of social skills each and every time. Not because they don't

know the planets, or state capitals, but because they do not know how to

relate to their coworkers and/or follow the simple rules of the office.

I really related to this because my brother who is in his 20s and has

autism lost a job recently because of a social problem. He liked a girl

who didn't like him back and he kept pestering her.

My cousin who is in his 30s and moderately mentally challenged has been

through dozens of jobs and each time he gets fired because he doesn't

understand the importance of punctuality and not talking to coworkers

constantly.

When your child is in a self-contained session, the teacher usually

comes all the way down to your child's level. In a regular classroom,

though he is taught curriculum at his level, he has to come up in his

social skills somewhat to the level of his peers.

Another story (sorry to go on) of a child in our district. She is

severely multiply disabled. Legally blind, partially deaf, on a trach

and ventilator, at 18 yrs old she is the size of a 4 year old, she has

many other problems, but you get the point. Well the mother fought for

her daughter to be included and in middle school she finally won. Many

of the classmates welcomed her with open arms. In home ec, the other

students will make this girl a project after finishing their own. The

students help the nurse carry her books while the nurse pushes her

wheelchair. What is the girl getting out of this? The sounds of a

typical classroom. The laughter, talking, etc. that goes along with it

that you don't get in a classroom where the children are all severely

disabled. She wants her daughter to enjoy what she is able to

experience, not sit around bored. Many of the children do tease her

incessantly and the teachers hate having her there. But her mother

feels it's in her daughter's best interests to be there and she won her

battle.

Sorry to go, I feel this was food for thought.

Jeanne M.

[Guest guest]

...

You're my hero when you remind me how much is accomplishing. My vision

continues to expand and your example is a great one. I agree 100% and admire

your determination. Our children are such great motivators! Keep up the good

fight...wish it weren't such a fight sometimes, but whatever it takes!

Brownie Shott, mom to

Re: inclusion

>From: 3zlrtdh@... ( Hartshorne)

>

>>From: Jandmkat@...

>>

>>,

> What is

>>the point of inclusion if the child is not getting what is going on

anyway. I

>>agree being around age appropriate children is better than with children

who

>>will not interact but during the time that the teacher is teaching what

would

>>a severly delayed child be getting out of it other than just sitting in

their

>>chair. Emma would be very delayed compared to the other children even if I

>>held her back for a few years so perhaps with what you were saying it

would

>>not be appropriate to hold her back.I don't want her though, to be in a

>>regular classroom if she is going to be forced to sit at a desk and given

>>inappropriate work to do and listen to a teacher teaching in a structured

>>classroom manner when that is inappropriate to her skills. I don't

disagree

>>with inclusion. I just do not understand it very well.

>

>Jen,

>

>Let me describe what 's day is like. Maybe that will help. Keep in

>mind that he is deaf-blind and has severe developmental delays, but is in a

>fourth grade classroom. He understands a few signs, and gives two back.

>Just so you know what we are dealing with.

>

> gets off the bus and goes to the playground with his aide, to

>wait for the bell to ring with the other kids. At that time, his friends

>greet him and always crowd around him. ( is not really very social,

>but they love him all the same). He goes to his locker, where he works on

>the goals of opening the door, taking his coat off and hanging it up,

>hanging up his pack, putting on his aids and glasses. He closes it and

>goes to the classroom and sits down. He is given the " lunch count " to take

>to the office with another student assisting him. He then goes to the

>bathroom, and has a tube feeding in the cafeteria. Then comes his speech

>session. After speech, he goes back to the room and does some work tasks

>with his aide, alongside the other kids. He does curricularly similar

>tasks. For instance, if the other kids are working on multiplication for

>math, may be patterning with blocks, or matching objects to numbers.

>When they are doing creative writing, he is learning to hold a pencil and

>make marks, and trace his name. You get the point. He goes to recess,

>gym, lunch (where he is tube fed sitting next to his friends), art, music,

>and library with his class. Each of these " specials " has been adapted as

>in the classroom. In art, he may fingerpaint. In Gym he actually gets PT.

>In music he may bang a drum or just work on hearing things when the others

>are singing. He always participates in the concerts in some way. In

>library, he checks out picture books or books with textures. The point is,

>he is with the others, and they are glad he is there. If you asked his

>circle of friends " why " , they would say " he should be with kids his age. "

>and be adamant about it. We talked about the possiblity presented to us

>that he could move to a special ed. class and the kids got very angry about

>it. They see this move as the adults' problem with acceptance and

>intolerance, not there. When is noisy, they are so used to it, they

>ignore it. These are just some examples. It is educationally sound,

>because frankly, he is getting a MORE individualized program here than he

>would in a classroom for kids with severe disabilities. He has one on one,

>and a team that works hard to continue to upgrade his lessons to meet his

>needs. Very few SXI rooms have worked that hard for one kid.

> It is socially sound because he is interacting and is a full part

>of his natural community. These kids will grow up to be leaders in our

>community, and will be the ones that hire him, assist him, care for him,

>and continue to befriend him. It may be hard to believe, but there are

>some kids in his Circle that are DEEPLY attached to him. Some of these are

>fifth grade girls, even. (You know how and callous they can sometimes be

>with each other at that age).

> It is morally sound because belongs, as does everyone. Some

>see this as a social justice, even a civil rights issue. The TASH

>organization espouses full inclusion in this way. " All means All " . They

>say that the only criteria for inclusion is that a person be breathing. And

>even then, it may be with a machine.

> goes to church school with his peers, and is a Webelos scout

>this year. He just earned his first Webelos badge, the communicator badge,

>no less!!! (smile)

> I know not everyone agrees with this stand. This is how I feel

>about it. I have read tons and tons and been to lots and lots of

>conferences on whyit should be done and how it is done effectively. My

>strong feeling is that if it is failing, then something is not happening

>that should be. Placing a kid in a classroom without the proper supports

>needed is NOT inclusion. It is DUMPING.

> Okay, some of you have heard all of this before. I DO have four

>years of successful experience behind me this time.

> Okay, enough preaching. I'm done. Inclusion has gotten such a bad

>name because of places where it is not being done right. If anyone wants

>more info on how it can be done right, call or email me. I will be happy

>to speak with you. My goal, when I finish my PhD is to become an inclusion

>consultant for a school district. Okay, so you may think I am a bit of a

>fanatic. But when I ask our deaf-blind consultant how long she thinks we

>can keep this up for , she says Junior College, and she is dead

>serious! Just my two (maybe more than two) cents! , mom to (9)

>ChArGE

>

> S. Hartshorne

>918 S. Brown St.

>Mt. Pleasant, MI

>48858

>

>.Hartshorne@...

>

>

>

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>

[Guest guest]

Hi,

Just another thought about inclusion. I read an article in our local

newspaper a while ago, about individuals with various disabilities and limited

mental capacity. There is a program north of Boston, I think it was in

Gloucester, where the people are in living and work environments with others

who are *normal* (using that word loosely!). The program is controversial,

but the director believes that these people develop better life skills when

they are around the proper peer models. I wish I could remember more about

it.

This would relate back to our children in the classroom setting. If there are

no peer models for them, they will just retreat into their own world or adopt

the behaviors of the other children in their self contained setting.

I find that with , that altho he can be very disruptive, like in his

TaiKwonDo class, he *can* do what is expected of him, if he has the proper

peer models, a strong teacher, and obviously the ability.

Janet

Wife to Matt

Mom to & (CHaRGEr) 6 1/2, nne 19 months, and

Mom to 5 months, and 14 months.

Weymouth, Massachusetts

[Guest guest]

I'm not backing down on this one.. and dang it all..

>next year he WILL be up here on the mountain in the

>local elem where he belongs !!!

That's the spirit, Casey! Hang in there, and stay strong! Don't let the

wolves even bare their teeth!

S. Hartshorne

918 S. Brown St.

Mt. Pleasant, MI

48858

.Hartshorne@...

[Guest guest]

In our IEP, I have tried to get

>specific goals for Kendra in terms of relating to peers who are at school

>and are deaf but are not in her classroom. So, my question is: did you

>ever have specific goals

>that related to peer interaction? If so what specifically were they?

Yes!! Socialization goals ARE an appropriate AND ESSENTIAL area for an

IEP. In fact, when I first went through school, they always said we had to

have goals in 5 areas: Cognitive, self-help, gross motor, fine motor, and

socialization. Where is this guy from, the moon?? It is a well accepted

best practice EVERYWHERE to include this, and has been for years and

years!!! And the special ed teachers should know how to write them.

's says, for instance, " is currently making initial contact

with peers three times a day. By the end of the year, he will make

appropriate communication contact with peers ten times per day. " and things

like that. That may be too low level for Kendra, but you get the idea.

Make sure the goal or objective is MEASURABLE, or you will never know if

she has made progress. hang in there--that guy is a real dink!

S. Hartshorne

918 S. Brown St.

Mt. Pleasant, MI

48858

.Hartshorne@...

[Guest guest]

Yes, we too have had socialization as an important IEP goal, even more so than

academics some years. Barbra M

[Guest guest]

,

I cried as I read about 's day. You truly are an exceptional Mom to fight

and give him all this. The kids, teachers and aids sound wonderful--how

inspiring! I'm sad because our school system--and even Destiny's teacher--have

almost given up keeping her in the " readiness kindergarten " one step below a

regular class. I, too, feel defeated and will probably let them move her for

the rest of the year if it comes down to that. I do, however, want her re-

evlauated next year and put back into the " readiness " class w/ a different

teacher. How has 's behavior been in class? Does he act out much? Act out

at the other kids? Has he ever? Destiny has fewer disabilities (no blindness,

normal aided hearing), yet she is being denied many of the opportunities

is given. Destiny's problem, besides the developmental delays, is her behavior

at school. Maybe that is what is holding her back, but no one is listening to

us when we say she is saying something and it is everyone's job to figure out

what it is. Our words are falling on deaf ears (pun intended). We are in a

holding pattern for now, but I think in a few weeks steps will be taken to

move her to the special school. At least I have spoken to a couple of parents

whose kids go there and they have only good things to say about it and how far

their kids have come while attending. Maybe it's what is best for all (then

why does it make me so sad .

, thank you for sharing 's experience at school. You are a great Mom

and he's a lucky kid. I'm happy for you guys. At least the system works for

someone who knows how to work it.

(Destiny 5 1/2 CHARgE, Zachary 3 1/2

Staten Island, NY

[Guest guest]

>From: LJoyC@...

>

>,

>

>I cried as I read about 's day. You truly are an exceptional Mom to fight

>and give him all this. The kids, teachers and aids sound wonderful--how

>inspiring!

Fight is right! The aids and teachers are NOT always wonderful. We are

going through a really tough time right now. We are trying to document

things the aide is doing wrong/forgetting, because we are all sick of her

attitude. 's new special ed. teacher this year used to serve severely

impaired kids, which I thought was great. But she sees him just like she

saw all those institutionalized kids years ago. She has told the aide he

is not to set foot in her room, even when her other (LD) students aren't

there, and she does not want to be seen with him for fear her students will

see and it will lower their self-esteem because they will see themselves as

like . Give me a break! It's not the kids' attitudes that need an

adjustment!!! Anyway, I have made the principal aware of this problem.

Hopefully, we will get something resolved. Meanwhile, 's team is

almost all new this year and is having trouble " gel-ing " . Although almost

all of each of them is better than the last he had in that area, I would

almost rather go back to the devil I knew, if you know what I mean. It has

been nothing but headache and heartache all year, on top of which we are

going to a due process hearing over speech time (they want to reduce it for

budget reasons, we want it to stay the same, because they can give us no

educational reason why it is best for to reduce it).

Why do I keep up the fight? (And it has been nothing but STRESSFUL

for weeks now.) Because of the rewards. Last night, had a Halloween

party and 22 KIDS SHOWED UP! They each brought a decoration and an

activity that they and would like and a treat. We had a haunted

house. It was GREAT. One boy dressed up as a " Men in Black " because

that's what went as.

This is a clincher for me: This same boy asked if he could trick

or treat with . I told him doesn't get much stuff because it

takes him a long time to walk from house to house and he gets tired

quickly. This is what he said,

" I don't care how much candy I get, I just care about being with . "

I almost started crying. His mom and I looked at each other and our jaws

just dropped! (He has a brother with Autism- so she knew exactly how I

felt).

I, too, feel defeated and will probably let them move her for

>the rest of the year if it comes down to that.

So, I am not trying to convince you to not give up, (well, yes I am!) but

it can be done. does have self-stim behaviors. He spits, makes

noises he can't hear, and has tantrums occasionally. But I truly believe,

although he is deaf-blind, that he curbs his behavior in the classroom

because he is modeling the behavior of the other kids. He does have a room

he goes to to work if he gets too disruptive, and his day is broken up so

that he is never doing seat work for more than an hour at a time.

Keep in mind that many kids have disruptive behaviors (especially

that young) and are not segregated for it. They are given plans that are

devised by teams and school psychologists to help with it. Behavior is not

a reason to segregate. It is a reason for an IEP goal. I hope you will

not give up and get discouraged. It is a lot of work, but the outcome is

WELL worth the effort. It is also never-ending, so it is a big commitment,

but when was born, I remember thinking, he will never go to the prom,

or football games, or to birthday parties, or graduation, etc. But guess

what, he will do all of these things because of INCLUSION. So, I don't

have to any longer grieve for the child I didn't have to the same extent.

CAN be included in almost anything, with the proper supports. He will

have a job and a home of his own in the community someday, all because we

are laying the groundwork, now. So, although it is easy to give up,

looking at the big picture, the future of our children, helps me to hang on

and keep fighting. I only have eight more years I have to fight with the

school for this!! I guess there is an end in sight. Then I will fight the

bigger, badder wolves, Medicaid, SSI, Community mental health programs for

developmentally disabled, etc., to get what he needs as an adult. But I am

gearing up for that, and will cross that bridge when I come to it. Lest

you think this fight consumes me, it really takes some time, but I am also

raising two other kids and working on a PhD at the same time (Yes, I am

totally nuts!!!). So, it can be done, and in no way do I think of myself

as a supermom! (Heck, I don't even put his hearing aids on at home!--have

gotten scolded for that many a time by the school-he doesn't want them and

doesn't get anything from them, and I don't have energy to keep after him

to keep them on and watch out the baby doesn't get them, etc.)

Sorry to go on and on. I am very passionate about this issue, and

hate to hear people so discouraged. If you had said you didn't believe in

inclusion, I could respect that. But when you said it made you sad to give

up, that touched something in me. Good luck. in Michigan, Mom to

(9) ChArGE, Seth, 3, and , 1 on Tuesday, and Wife to Tim.

S. Hartshorne

918 S. Brown St.

Mt. Pleasant, MI

48858

.Hartshorne@...

[Guest guest]

-

You are truly an inspiration! I hope you are still there offering the

same support when I am facing school for Aubrie. If I had not known

you, I would never have realized that inclusion was her right and how it

could benefit her now and in the long run. You've educated me just by

sharing your stories. Perhaps it will make your fight even more

worthwhile to know that you are changing the lives of children around

the world in ways that you will never know.

The trick-or-treat story made me cry too...

Michele

mom to Aubrie (10.5 mos) CHargE and (7 yrs)

IL

westml@...

[Guest guest]

That is SO sweet and wonderful about the trick or treating invitation! It's

nice to see a little sunshine where we see so much rain.

Now, can you guys please help with some advice for me????

My is in 5th grade, and the junior high that offers lots of special ed

resources starts in 7th, so he'll have 1 year along if we change to the

" feeder " school, which we're thinking of doing because his teacher says he is

having so much trouble keeping up, fully included and mainstreamed. He would

have more resources if I switched him to the bigger public school, plus I

could walk h8im to school and he would meet neighborhood kids.

BUT...he loves it where he is and has friends and is doing well socially.

My options are: keep him where he is and know he's not going to get much ahead

academically, plus be a distraction for the teachers...or move him now, or

move him at the end of the year repeating 5th grade, or move him next year for

6th grade only at a new sschool. I can also choose between having an aide in

the classroom (I don't know how much) as opposed to pull-out resource help he

gets now,

OR a different school in the district with a special day class. I am planning

on visiting both an inclusion/aide class at the 1 school, and the special day

class at the other school, to see how they feel and what the kids are like in

the special day class.

I know this is rambling...but any valuable experience/input on this? It is

difficult. Thanks so much.

OH YEAH< ALSO!! Today in church was terrible, ruined it for me and the

families in surrounding pews. I think I will stop torturing him with going,

so that I can have an escape, as he seems to get nothing out of it anyway.

Ithought he might get some spirituality through osmosis, but it seems worse

than the benefits. Any input on this>? I might just make him come at

Easter, Christmas etc.. for the exposure, but let myself enjoy it Sundays

without him. He was going into the Sunday school class at 11:, but our

liturgy starts at 10> He can't handle an hour of it quietly.

THANKS SO MUCH--Happy Halloween, God bless, enjoy the punkins (orange ones

too)

Barbra Mousouris, Mom to the Great (Maniac) aged 11

and Marina aged 15== YOU GUYS ARE SPECIAL!

[Guest guest]

,

Hi!! thank you so much for your reply. i have been trying for two days to read

all my backed up mail and get back to you. first though, the important

message of

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AARON!!

my head is absolutely spinning with all the info i am trying to take in on

inclusion. my initial feeling is that i would like to take both my girls in

the house, close the door and hide them away from the cruelty they will

encounter forever. but alas, i know this is impossible because someday i will

die and they will wind up in a institution because they have learned nothing

about all the negatives and positives the world will teach them. i am however

very concerned about what one mom saidl about the kids teasing her daughter

and the teachers hating her being there. we have all been teased in life so i

guess i can't let that hold me back. i was so glad to hear of how s

friends stood up for him enjoyed his Halloween party, and the one boy who

wants to trick or treat with him. you and Casey(are you listening casey?) are

so incredible. as corny as it may sound i strive to be like you guys in

regards to fighting for my kids. I am going to call the school district today

and learn about what they offfer, see the classes, ect. I spoke with the

NYSTAP, they were at the Boston conf., this morning and they see no reason why

i could not get a 1:1 signing aide for Emma. This had been a concern for me

and was partly what was holding me back. She is beginning to sign two signs to

me with only verbal prompts and i really want to RUN with that. I loved what

you said about -these kids being the ones who are going to be employing our

kids, ect, ect. and it gave me reason to think that in the end Emma will

actually be educating THEM on kindness and acceptance.

thank you for your lengthly responses and keep on preaching!! i think we all

need these daily reminders and mood lifters. i can't even begin to think about

jr. college and no less community living!! this year it is just Kindergarten

for me!! i am glad you are paving the way and it isn't the other way around. i

will let you know how it is going but i have to admit, if anyone even looks at

her the wrong way, i am going to be very very tempted to pull her out and lock

her in the house with me.

Jen Katapodis long island, new york

wife to mike and mom to our CHaRgErs Emma(41/2) and Diane(3)

BTW, mike feels i will have no problem getting what i want because it all

sounds like a lot of nagging to the district. Something he thinks i am very

good at.

[Guest guest]

,

Thanks for the letter about and his schooling, you really give the

rest of us alot of reason to believe and keep fighting for whatever it

is our CHARGErs need. We appreciate all your letters, as I " m sure they

take you some time to type. Good luck changing those archaic attitudes

of the teacher who didn't want to be seen with , that is so

pathetic it's hard to put into words. How do you control your temper?

I'd freak if someone said that about Kennedy. You must be a strong

strong person!

Mom to Kennedy 8 mos old CHARGEr, 9, 7, and wife to Graeme

New Brunswick, Canada

--

Graeme & Weir

gweir@...

http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Palms/5716

[Guest guest]

Perhaps it will make your fight even more

>worthwhile to know that you are changing the lives of children around

>the world in ways that you will never know.

, yes, responses like yours do make it seem worth the fight.

S. Hartshorne

918 S. Brown St.

Mt. Pleasant, MI

48858

.Hartshorne@...

[Guest guest]

Good luck changing those archaic attitudes

>of the teacher who didn't want to be seen with , that is so

>pathetic it's hard to put into words. How do you control your temper?

>I'd freak if someone said that about Kennedy.

, I DID freak. I wrote that email about a week after it happened, so I

had had a chance to calm down! I DID tell the principal about it, but she

is off doing chemotherapy for her husband this week, so didn't want to

tackle the problem til the next team meeting (a month away). I do feel

sorry for her, but part of me wanted to say, THIS IS IMPORTANT, can't

wait a month for this to be resolved. The devil in me wanted to say, " you

mean you want me to cut you some slack because someone in your family has

health issues/disabilities? " They have never cut me slack for that!

S. Hartshorne

918 S. Brown St.

Mt. Pleasant, MI

48858

.Hartshorne@...

[Guest guest]

wrote:

The devil in me wanted to say, " you

>mean you want me to cut you some slack because someone in your family has

>health issues/disabilities? " They have never cut me slack for that!

That is a very relevant thought you had. I'd be tempted to say it too!! If

you said it, it just might open up her eyes and she might really gain

empathy.

keedy@...

Portland, OR

[Guest guest]

>BTW, mike feels i will have no problem getting what i want because it all

>sounds like a lot of nagging to the district. Something he thinks i am very

>good at.

Go for it, Jen! I have a friend (a CHARGE mom in Canada who is trying

inclusion with her son) who always signs her emails: Be well and STAY

STRONG. My best to you. Also, feel free to call me to discuss this stuff,

anyone on the list, that is. , mom to (9) ChArGE, Seth. 3 and a

half, and the BIG One year old . I can still remember the labor and

delivery like it was yesterday!

S. Hartshorne

918 S. Brown St.

Mt. Pleasant, MI

48858

.Hartshorne@...

[Guest guest]

> , I DID freak. I wrote that email about a week after it happened, so I

> had had a chance to calm down! I DID tell the principal about it, but she

> is off doing chemotherapy for her husband this week, so didn't want to

> tackle the problem til the next team meeting (a month away). I do feel

> sorry for her, but part of me wanted to say, THIS IS IMPORTANT, can't

> wait a month for this to be resolved. The devil in me wanted to say, " you

> mean you want me to cut you some slack because someone in your family has

> health issues/disabilities? " They have never cut me slack for that!

, some times it's really hard to bite your tongue isn't it? I'm

finding that out already and KK is only 9 mos old!

--

Graeme & Weir

gweir@...

http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Palms/5716

[Guest guest]

>From: BMousouris@...

>Now, can you guys please help with some advice for me????

Wow, it sounds like you have lots of different options with lots of

different strengths and weaknesses. I can't really give you much advice

not knowing and the whole story, but it sounds as if your reasoning

for any decision you make is sound. 's " inclusion " program was

" moved " to another school this year, and we chose to keep him where he is,

because that's where his friends are. He now has an awful sp. ed. teacher

where the one he would have at the other school would be wonderful, and so

are the reg. ed. teachers. The trade off was with the kids. How

successfully included sould he be socially with a new bunch of fourth

graders? Not very. They would stare at him and make fun of him. So we

chose the kids that have been with him for four years and that love him

deeply along with a couple of lousy teachers over great teachers and lousy

(you know what I mean) kids. It was a tough decision, but I think the

right one. The main difference is, we can try to teach kids to accept him,

but the lousy teachers HAVE to learn to accept and teach him appropriately.

It's what they get paid to do. So we will work on some attitude adjusting

and some teaching to get what he needs out of his neighborhood school.

I do see some appeal to having go to the feeder school so that

some kids will know him at the Junior High. Chances are better that in the

fifth or sixth grade a reg. ed. teacher will go out of their way to help

the other kids accept him than that the teachers at a Junior High will. Is

there no way to transition him slowly, like having him do half days at each

school for a while? Or if he does change schools, maybe some of his current

friends could come to school and in an organized way, help introduce him to

the new kids in a positive light.

I know that whatever decision you make will be the right one. Just

having you to advocate for him is the luckiest thing could have.

, mom to (9)

S. Hartshorne

918 S. Brown St.

Mt. Pleasant, MI

48858

.Hartshorne@...