Still Lurking...

[Guest guest]

I'm not all that comfortable in the " lurker " role so I thought I

would check in -- it's been a while. Still plodding along. I'm

encouraged by moments of realizing that I'm totally in the moment --

I become aware that I am fully conscious, aware of my body, my

thoughts, my surroundings, my judgments and fears, my impulse to

interact with the world in the same ways I always have, even of the

world outside of my little world. These moments make me realize how

UNconscious I am most of the time. What's heartening about them is

that I've usually had to work to bring my attention into the present

rather than just being present. There is a part in the book that

brought tears to my eyes when I first read it -- something about how

our depression/anxiety/fear/whatever is not what's so difficult,

it's the pain of our lives passing by unlived. I feel more like I'm

living my life these days, even on the days when I'm wearing my

depression jacket. I'm feeling like someone turned the lights on.

On another topic, I wanted to mention a movie I saw about the same

time I started practicing ACT. It's called Unknown White Male.

It's a documentary about a man who sort of comes to and realizes

that he has absolutely no recollection of his life up that point.

Apparently he is suffering from a rare form of retrograde amnesia

although the cause is uncertain. Everything he experiences is as if

it was the first time - snow, swimming in the ocean, eating

different foods, looking in the mirror, " meeting " his family.

According to his family his personality has completely changed - he

went from being jaded and cynical to being very childlike. It's

heartbreaking for them since the person they knew and loved is gone

(although he's perfectly content). It's a fascinating study of

memory and how it relates to identity and personality and is

especially relevant to anyone practicing ACT -- talk about being

reborn every day! Not sure if it's out on DVD yet, but it's

definitely worth watching.

Even though I don't participate in the discussions on this list

serve, I read each and every email on here and get something out of

all of them. Does ACT attract really cool people or does it make

them that way?

-I

(as usual I'm rereading my post and critiquing it. Thanks head,

SEND.)