Re: ACT board discussion

[Guest guest]

Thanks for your balanced remarks, .

I suppose it was also the second-guessing or discounting that I was responding to. So if I say in a earlier post that I really get what the dogs were symbolizing, and then someone comes in and says: "No, you're wrong--if you think you got

it, you don't. You're in a dangerous place". Well, that feels heavy and

evaluative, and frankly a bit disrespectful in my view. Makes me not want

to post again. Kinda like others were saying they felt in the thread :

"Fire Yourself".

In ACT there are two major tenets that I think we do well to remember:

1. That the client's (or person posting) experience is always the final

arbiter. If they say they got something, they got it. It's not for us to

assume otherwise.

2. That we are all in the same boat. Never try to one-up yourself.

I think if we approach our sharing this way, we are more apt to feel this is a safe place to discuss things, and we come from a more sensitive, vulnerable and humble place. Maybe even share a personal experience that has helped you personally in your life or share a current struggle you are working on.

I really appreciated how you shared your experience with your brother, btw. That was very helpful!

Best,

Joanne

Williston wrote:

I think that feeling like it was dismissive was perfectly natural. It sounded to me

like and effort to help you "dismiss" your struggles so that you could "get

out of your mind and into your life." (Not in a "I know everything" sort

of way, just as a friend offering advice.) Obviously some miscommunication happened, and I think we would all rather avoid it. I also think that miscommunication is something that is part of the human condition, and I am personally impressed that you were able to recognize it for what it is, within your own context.

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[Guest guest]

Um, sincere apologies...this was a private correspondence

and not meant to be forwarded to the board.

Joanne

Joanne Hersh wrote:

Thanks for

your balanced remarks, .

I suppose it was also the second-guessing or discounting that I was responding

to. So if I say in a earlier post that I really get what the dogs were

symbolizing, and then someone comes in and says: "No, you're wrong--if

you think you got it, you don't. You're in a dangerous place". Well, that

feels heavy and evaluative, and frankly a bit disrespectful in my view. Makes

me not want to post again. Kinda like others were saying they felt in the

thread : "Fire Yourself".

In ACT there are two major tenets that I think we do well to remember:

1. That the client's (or person posting) experience is always the final arbiter. If they say they got something, they got it. It's not for us to assume otherwise.

2. That we are all in the same boat. Never try to one-up yourself.

I think if we approach our sharing this way, we are more apt to feel this

is a safe place to discuss things, and we come from a more sensitive, vulnerable

and humble place. Maybe even share a personal experience that has helped

you personally in your life or share a current struggle you are working

on.

I really appreciated how you shared your experience with your brother,

btw. That was very helpful!

Best,

Joanne

Williston wrote:

I think

that feeling like it was dismissive was perfectly natural. It sounded to

me like and effort to help you "dismiss" your struggles so that you could

"get out of your mind and into your life." (Not in a "I know everything"

sort of way, just as a friend offering advice.) Obviously some miscommunication

happened, and I think we would all rather avoid it. I also think that miscommunication

is something that is part of the human condition, and I am personally impressed

that you were able to recognize it for what it is, within your own context.

How low will we go? Check out Yahoo! Messenger’s low

PC-to-Phone call rates.

[Guest guest]

Well, I've always felt that if you are going to accidentally go onlist with a private post, it should contain scandalous gossip or great sex ;-P. Sadly to say, this had neither. Just my way of saying, it's all good, Joanne. No worries. GoldieJoanne Hersh wrote: Um, sincere apologies...this was a private correspondence and not meant to be forwarded to the board.JoanneJoanne Hersh wrote: Thanks for your balanced remarks, . I suppose it was also the second-guessing or discounting that I was responding to. So if I say in a earlier post that I really get what the dogs were symbolizing, and then someone comes in and says: "No, you're wrong--if you think you got it, you don't. You're in a dangerous place". Well, that feels heavy and evaluative, and frankly a bit disrespectful in my view. Makes me not want to post again. Kinda like others were saying they felt in the thread : "Fire Yourself". In ACT there are two major tenets that I think we do well to remember:1. That the client's (or person posting) experience is always the final arbiter. If they say they got something, they got it. It's not for us to assume otherwise. 2. That we are all in the same boat. Never try

to one-up yourself.I think if we approach our sharing this way, we are more apt to feel this is a safe place to discuss things, and we come from a more sensitive, vulnerable and humble place. Maybe even share a personal experience that has helped you personally in your life or share a current struggle you are working on. I really appreciated how you shared your experience with your brother, btw. That was very helpful!Best,Joanne Williston wrote: I think that feeling like it was dismissive was perfectly natural. It sounded to me like and effort to help you "dismiss" your struggles so that you could "get out of your mind and into your life." (Not in a "I know everything" sort of way, just as a friend offering advice.) Obviously some miscommunication happened, and I think we would all rather avoid it. I also think

that miscommunication is something that is part of the human condition, and I am personally impressed that you were able to recognize it for what it is, within your own context. How low will we go? Check out Yahoo! Messenger’s low PC-to-Phone call rates.

Yahoo! Messenger with Voice. Make PC-to-Phone Calls to the US (and 30+ countries) for 2¢/min or less.

[Guest guest]

Darn--another missed opportunity! Gotta work on

that. Thanks Goldie.

Joanne ;-)

Goldie Locks wrote:

Well, I've always felt that if you are going to accidentally go onlist

with a private post, it should contain scandalous gossip or great sex ;-P.

Sadly to say, this had neither. Just my way of saying, it's all good, Joanne.

No worries.

Goldie

Joanne Hersh wrote:

Um, sincere apologies...this was a private

correspondence and not meant to be forwarded to the board.

Joanne

Joanne Hersh wrote:

Thanks

for your balanced remarks, .

I suppose it was also the second-guessing or discounting that I was responding

to. So if I say in a earlier post that I really get what the dogs were symbolizing,

and then someone comes in and says: "No, you're wrong--if you think you

got it, you don't. You're in a dangerous place". Well, that feels heavy

and evaluative, and frankly a bit disrespectful in my view. Makes me not

want to post again. Kinda like others were saying they felt in the thread

: "Fire Yourself".

In ACT there are two major tenets that I think we do well to remember:

1. That the client's (or person posting) experience is always the final arbiter.

If they say they got something, they got it. It's not for us to assume

otherwise.

2. That we are all in the same boat. Never try to one-up yourself.

I think if we approach our sharing this way, we are more apt to feel this

is a safe place to discuss things, and we come from a more sensitive, vulnerable

and humble place. Maybe even share a personal experience that has helped

you personally in your life or share a current struggle you are working on.

I really appreciated how you shared your experience with your brother, btw.

That was very helpful!

Best,

Joanne

Williston wrote:

I think that feeling like it was dismissive was perfectly natural.

It sounded to me like and effort to help you "dismiss" your struggles so

that you could "get out of your mind and into your life." (Not in a "I know

everything" sort of way, just as a friend offering advice.) Obviously some

miscommunication happened, and I think we would all rather avoid it. I also

think that miscommunication is something that is part of the human condition,

and I am personally impressed that you were able to recognize it for what

it is, within your own context.

How low will we go? Check out Yahoo! Messenger’s low

PC-to-Phone

call rates.

Yahoo! Messenger with Voice. Make

PC-to-Phone Calls to the US (and 30+ countries) for 2¢/min or less.