on shutting down - Sandy

[Guest guest]

At 06:34 PM 4/25/2008, you wrote:

>My question back is.... Do you shut down so entirely as I do? I

>mean, I literally could not function. But, again, that came after a

>great deal of attempting to find a solution.

Hi Sandy,

I just wanted to say that Ron did an amazing job of answering that

question in his post entitled " Yes Helen. " My experience was similar,

the brain shutting down, the shaking, the retreating to a dark quiet

room to try to pull it together, etc. It hasn't happened too often,

and sometimes I could pull myself up by the bootstraps after an hour

or so, but sometimes I could not. That happened to me several times

in my life after a major stressor had occurred. This is quite

different than a momentary shock or fright, or even grief over the

sudden loss of a loved one. It became apparent within hours that this

wasn't going to go away without medical help. Once, after a car

accident - I very quickly spiralled downward. It wasn't really about

the car at all, but about something happening to me when I was

already vulnerable. It was about loss. Somehow, I had enough

wherewithal left to summon someone to help to make a doctor's

appointment and get me there. In that situation, only

anti-depressants will haul me back out again. I've avoided

hospitalization in this way.

I have always feared not being in control and so immediate return to

wellness was a priority for me. I don't wait to make the doctor's

appointment. I don't know if AS or NT experience this fear of losing

control differently. I would love to hear about how other NS and NT

experience this and I am sure you would be interested too. I hope our

members will weigh in on this one. This is a real revelation for me

as I didn't think my experience was all that common.

- Helen

[Guest guest]

I have always feared not being in control and so immediate return to wellness was a priority for me. I don't wait to make the doctor's appointment. I don't know if AS or NT experience this fear of losing control differently. I would love to hear about how other NS and NT experience this and I am sure you would be interested too. I hope our members will weigh in on this one. This is a real revelation for me as I didn't think my experience was all that common.- Helen

Helen,

Thank you for this post. I missed the original on this thread. I can tell you about the ways my husband AS and I NT each shut down.

His when he can't get to the door, he has been used to long walks. When it's so bad he can't even think to leave the house it can go in a few different directions. He will lay in bed with his back toward my side of the bed/room if I'm not actually in the room. My side is where the door is. He will lay there with the pillow over his head, or if it's really bad with the pillow folded over his head and the comforter over all of him as well. He will come into the bedroom to lay down and read during the day on the weekend, or earlier than usual at night and tell me he's going in to write, and end up not telling me he's actually going to bed.

I will come in and start talking to him... Oops. After a while he will wake up and feel shaken. It can take a while for him to feel calm enough to interact if/when this happens. A while could be within 10 minutes or as long as a half an hour. If you're dealing with this at 7:30PM that's one thing, if however, you're dealing with this at 12AM...

He'll do this with the light still on that's why I can't tell. I can't sleep with the light or radio on.

My way of shutting down is to become very quiet, I can feel myself pulling in. This can happen even when I am alone here. It's a very different feeling. I can feel it physically as well. Like the front of my throat is a lot closer to my vocal cords. I don't know if that makes sense to anyone on the list. I can also feel "tiny," very small. There are times when my husband has been with me and I'm like this, that's when I can resort to using a pad or journal and just write then go over to him with the pad and offer it to him so he can read what I can't say.

We've tried that with him as well and sometimes, more often when he's trying to isolate while on the computer it has worked with him as well.

Helen, I hope you find this helpful and thank you for sharing your experiences.

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