Re: Introduction...

[Guest guest]

Hi Leigh, Glad to meet you! I got dx-ed by being formally tested- not by counseling. It could work for you too. I love to twitch my toes and wiggle my legs when I wake up, or when I lie down. Toe walking is fun, too. Change does not bother me that much, as long as I have planned a few back-up plans for dealing with it. (Example: I have six things to do, and one is a meeting. The meeting gets delayed, so I work on one of the others, that I remembered to bring with me.) I love people- in fact, I am an extrovert- I just may not understand their nonverbal signals much of the time. : ~ ) I hope you do not feel out of place here! I think you fit right in! Leigh

Jamgochian wrote: Why am I here? I've never been really diagnosed and often I get professionals who have just met me when I say I believe I'm an Aspie say but you don't seem that way. Below is a list of things. But as many know AS isn't as simple as a list or a check box. I hate change. When things happen I didn't expect I get extremely anxious and to put it lightly bitchy. I have things I am REALLY good at (programming,

computers, electrical systems) I have innate mechanical ability. I love video games. I have an obsessive personality I will latch onto something and not let it go. Conversations, disagreements, games, activities, foods. I always feel out of place I have a skewed sense of humor. Puns and plays on words ESPECIALLY. I find the wackiest relationships and patterns in things. I see facial similarities between people that others don't see. I am often looked on as cruel or insensitive when explaining technical items. I EXCESSIVELY pace when I'm on the phone I have difficulty with the 'simple common things' hygene, keeping house. I love watching data change. Such as count downs, or similar functions. I can tease people to the point of accidentally being cruel but cannot be teased. Social situations SCARE ME. I

feel confused and alone. I rely on my wife to foster relationships with people and then in turn blame her when I don't have friends. I feel that I screw up all my relationships. I feel that everything (i.e. work, technology, relationships) should follow order and rules no matter what. When I don't understand the rules then I get into trouble. This does not mean that things cannot be bad or what but in their departure from the 'correct' path they follow an alternative set of rules. I am unsure how to respond emotionally and physically to situations. I'm stubborn. I twitch my toes before going to sleep. I have strong emotional responses but react badly. I hate to look someone in the eye. Why do professionals who first meet me ask if I'm sure about being an Aspie then? I have some ideas. First in my head if you know the problem

you can then attempt solve it. So first the symptoms of being an Aspie are NOT conducive to my well being let alone happiness. SO they are a problem. So what do I try to do? I force myself to go out into public. I force myself to look people in the eye. I try and find ways to mimic others (after years of screwing up you can learn a little) I ask if things are ok. When I begin to feel angry or scared I take a few seconds to say is this right according to the rules I've observed OR is my reaction based on AS? I trust my wife to tell me when my behaviour is out of line. Either as a dumb man OR an Aspie. Practice Practice Practice. Focus on achieveable goals. POSITIVE THINKING (life is GOOD, I HAVE people who love me) Remind myself to get the things I want (happiness etc) I have to do specific things.

Get back up and dust myself off when I screw up. LET IT GO! (the current obsession, stupid argument, sense of moral right) Set timers/break points for activities (I'll play this game until X and then do Y) Set small goals (take a shower today by 9AM) Create a REAL priority list what is REALLY important from not only my perspective but from others. Make chore lists. AS is a reason NOT an excuse! SLEEP and EAT right. Am I 'cured' or close to acting like an NT? Not by a long shot. By finally admitting to myself that I had AS let a LOT of guilt go. NOT RESPONSIBILITY but guilt. I still work hard to 'fit in' but I try not to hate myself about it anymore. An added incentive is that my daughter was dx'd with AS and needs help. I can't help her if I can't help myself. Well that's one of my infamous list emails. I hope to

post more and get to know some of you in the near future! Leigh __________________________________________________