Guest guest Posted April 1, 2004 Report Share Posted April 1, 2004 Maralee, I know I am just around the corner with this subject. Have you tried a weekly or monthly time to sit down and discuss these things? With (13 in June) he has not started asking these things. But he does have other things that he wants to do. I don't know how your daughter is but when wants something bad enough I tell him he has to make the change to show that he is ready for it. Sometimes he rises to the occasion others it just fizzles out. You might make a list of things that has to be done. And things that she has to change (over a period of time) that way if she wants it bad enough she would be willing to do what is required of her. I could not imagine driving it would scare me. He has trouble focusing on everyday tasks. I believe that if given the chance has the ability to stay focused, And not just for a short time either. When he does want something bad enough he sticks to it. Set the rules and do not waiver. I don't know if this is good advice but it might be worth a try. {{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}} Dawn..... Mom of 4 driving and working My 15 year old dd came home from school today and called me at work (very typical) to say she wanted to get a job, when she turns 16. She wants to work M, W, and F, from 4:30-7:30 ("those are the days I shave!" she said ....!!!!). "Will the school bus take me to my job?" she asks me. I say "No, not after school is over." We move from the job discussion to a driving discussion. "When can I take driver's ed?" she asks. (GULP.) "How long before I can drive?" she asks. (GULP, GULP!!!) Where's that ostrich club?? I ventured out today and said, in the midst of discussion, "I'm not sure if driving is for you..." and boy, did she get mad at me!!! "You don't believe i should have a child and you don't believe I should drive. I'm just not going to come to you anymore about these kinds of things!" SLAM goes the phone, in my ear. Arghghhg. This is getting hard. It's so hard, different kinds of hard, at every stage!!! I really can't imagine her passing a driver's test, written OR BTW. I can't imagine her driving. I would worry for her. I would worry for others on the road. But I don't want to limit her either if it might miraculously happen! We live in suburban chicago area....rather busy on the roads. Not small town. Not rural.' She also talked about college again today...saying she'd 'probably' be going to the college where I work. But there's no way she could handle it academically, socially. How do I tell her that? I haven't, thus far. See where my comment got me today about driving? :/ Sigh!!! Maralee Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness! Morning by morning new mercies I see; All I have needed Thy hand hath provided-- Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 1, 2004 Report Share Posted April 1, 2004 Maralee, I know I am just around the corner with this subject. Have you tried a weekly or monthly time to sit down and discuss these things? With (13 in June) he has not started asking these things. But he does have other things that he wants to do. I don't know how your daughter is but when wants something bad enough I tell him he has to make the change to show that he is ready for it. Sometimes he rises to the occasion others it just fizzles out. You might make a list of things that has to be done. And things that she has to change (over a period of time) that way if she wants it bad enough she would be willing to do what is required of her. I could not imagine driving it would scare me. He has trouble focusing on everyday tasks. I believe that if given the chance has the ability to stay focused, And not just for a short time either. When he does want something bad enough he sticks to it. Set the rules and do not waiver. I don't know if this is good advice but it might be worth a try. {{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}} Dawn..... Mom of 4 driving and working My 15 year old dd came home from school today and called me at work (very typical) to say she wanted to get a job, when she turns 16. She wants to work M, W, and F, from 4:30-7:30 ("those are the days I shave!" she said ....!!!!). "Will the school bus take me to my job?" she asks me. I say "No, not after school is over." We move from the job discussion to a driving discussion. "When can I take driver's ed?" she asks. (GULP.) "How long before I can drive?" she asks. (GULP, GULP!!!) Where's that ostrich club?? I ventured out today and said, in the midst of discussion, "I'm not sure if driving is for you..." and boy, did she get mad at me!!! "You don't believe i should have a child and you don't believe I should drive. I'm just not going to come to you anymore about these kinds of things!" SLAM goes the phone, in my ear. Arghghhg. This is getting hard. It's so hard, different kinds of hard, at every stage!!! I really can't imagine her passing a driver's test, written OR BTW. I can't imagine her driving. I would worry for her. I would worry for others on the road. But I don't want to limit her either if it might miraculously happen! We live in suburban chicago area....rather busy on the roads. Not small town. Not rural.' She also talked about college again today...saying she'd 'probably' be going to the college where I work. But there's no way she could handle it academically, socially. How do I tell her that? I haven't, thus far. See where my comment got me today about driving? :/ Sigh!!! Maralee Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness! Morning by morning new mercies I see; All I have needed Thy hand hath provided-- Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 1, 2004 Report Share Posted April 1, 2004 Maralee, I know I am just around the corner with this subject. Have you tried a weekly or monthly time to sit down and discuss these things? With (13 in June) he has not started asking these things. But he does have other things that he wants to do. I don't know how your daughter is but when wants something bad enough I tell him he has to make the change to show that he is ready for it. Sometimes he rises to the occasion others it just fizzles out. You might make a list of things that has to be done. And things that she has to change (over a period of time) that way if she wants it bad enough she would be willing to do what is required of her. I could not imagine driving it would scare me. He has trouble focusing on everyday tasks. I believe that if given the chance has the ability to stay focused, And not just for a short time either. When he does want something bad enough he sticks to it. Set the rules and do not waiver. I don't know if this is good advice but it might be worth a try. {{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}} Dawn..... Mom of 4 driving and working My 15 year old dd came home from school today and called me at work (very typical) to say she wanted to get a job, when she turns 16. She wants to work M, W, and F, from 4:30-7:30 ("those are the days I shave!" she said ....!!!!). "Will the school bus take me to my job?" she asks me. I say "No, not after school is over." We move from the job discussion to a driving discussion. "When can I take driver's ed?" she asks. (GULP.) "How long before I can drive?" she asks. (GULP, GULP!!!) Where's that ostrich club?? I ventured out today and said, in the midst of discussion, "I'm not sure if driving is for you..." and boy, did she get mad at me!!! "You don't believe i should have a child and you don't believe I should drive. I'm just not going to come to you anymore about these kinds of things!" SLAM goes the phone, in my ear. Arghghhg. This is getting hard. It's so hard, different kinds of hard, at every stage!!! I really can't imagine her passing a driver's test, written OR BTW. I can't imagine her driving. I would worry for her. I would worry for others on the road. But I don't want to limit her either if it might miraculously happen! We live in suburban chicago area....rather busy on the roads. Not small town. Not rural.' She also talked about college again today...saying she'd 'probably' be going to the college where I work. But there's no way she could handle it academically, socially. How do I tell her that? I haven't, thus far. See where my comment got me today about driving? :/ Sigh!!! Maralee Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness! Morning by morning new mercies I see; All I have needed Thy hand hath provided-- Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 4, 2004 Report Share Posted April 4, 2004 Ohhhhh Maralee... (((HUGS and a cup o joe))) I've had SEVERAL conversations this year with my 14 year old on these same subjects. *sighs* I have probably more reservations than you do... he's just so... ungrounded in his thoughts lately. How do you talk to them without 'bursting the proverbial bubble'??? I didn't exactly say 'NO' about either one... *chicken little* but said that first we need to work on getting a few other things settled. IE.. school performance, personal care, responsiblity etc. He balked quite 'loudly' at this; but in reality he knows this is true. btw... how does driving and meds mix. Does this make them 'not qualify' for drivers license? He's on Effexor XR, Neurotin, and Seroquel still. Geeeeee... if we could just manage to remember WHY we are standing in front of the bathroom sink at 6am we might make headway DES ps.. busy filling out transitional planning interview crap UGH! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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