Guest guest Posted November 12, 2004 Report Share Posted November 12, 2004 (Caution: Viagra humour) MONICA'S LETTER News Item: Bedi, girl friend of Abu Salem, presently jailed in Portugal, has written a letter to the PM begging for mercy and asking him to release her from the arrest warrant. The Prime Minister was an extremely worried man! Firstly he had reluctantly taken on the post. He was of a ripe old age. And here was a young girl called writing letters to him. The PM turned to his secretary. PM: Who in the Guru's name is this ? Sec: Sir, she is sadda Punjab di kuddi. She is Bedi. PM: Oh! You mean Mandira Bedi? The cricketeer? Sec: Sir, Mandira is not a cricketeer. And this is not Mandira, she is . And she is Abu Salem's girl friend. PM: You are confusing me. She already has a boy friend? Then why is she writing letters to me? Sec: Er . she wants you to leave her. PM: (looking hastily around) shhh careful. My wife will hear you. (whispering) But how can I leave her, if I haven't caught her? Sec: You see Sir, she does not want you to catch her. And you want to catch her for Abu Salem. PM: Do I? But why would I want to catch anybody for somebody else? Sec: Sir, you want to catch her because she will tell you more about the terrorist Abu Salem. You see, she knows all his secrets. Nothing is hidden from her. PM: Naturally. Sec: Yes Sir, completely naturally! PM: Okay. So what should I do about this 's letter? Sec: I don't know Sir. May be if you consulted a specialist. PM: Fine! Fine! Connect me to a specialist. The secretary dials a number and mumbles something, then hands over the phone to the PM. PM: Hallo ji! Expert ji, tell me what should I do with this 's letter? Expert: Is it French? PM: No ji! Seems to be in English with a little Punjabi in between. Expert: I didn't know knew Punjabi? Okay, so what's the question? PM: What to do with 's letter? Expert: Don't! Please don't let her. It's too much trouble. PM: huh? What about the terrorist? Expert: Yeah! She's a real terror under the briefs. But she is an even greater terror with legal briefs! PM: I am getting confused. What briefs? Who is this speaking? Expert: I am Bill Clinton. PM: (aside) Oye Secretary! You have connected me to Bill? Sec: Yes Sir! He is an expert on . PM: Good Morning Bill ji! Bill: Actually it is Bill J - for Jefferson, but G is close enough. PM: Well Bill ji, what should I do with ji? Bill: Is her middle name G. That's news to me. Probably the only thing about her middle that I do not know! PM: Well, what should I do? Bill: I wouldn't touch her with a 10-feet barge pole. PM: (laughing) you exaggerate! Bill: Okay, what about 10 inches? PM: Is it okay if instead of replying to her letter I give her an oral answer? Bill: Eeps! Oral and just don't go together. It just leaves a bad taste in the mouth. PM: (confused) You do know this well? Bill: Yeah, very well. In and out. PM: So what do you suggest? Bill: Whatever you do, don't let anything come out. And I mean 'anything'. It will stain your career. PM: Okay ji. Sat Sri Akal Bill ji. Bill: Oh yeah! Talking of Bills, you will find mine in the next mail. What with autobiographies and consultations, my relationship with has become quite productive, thanks to word of mouth publicity. The PM hurriedly keeps the phone, more confused than he was to begin with. -Kishore Shah 1974 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 12, 2004 Report Share Posted November 12, 2004 Ha!Ha!!Ha!!!Fantastic work......very funny!! That is a real diwali blast...) Neeti'86 > (Caution: Viagra humour) > > MONICA'S LETTER > > News Item: Bedi, girl friend of Abu Salem, presently jailed in > Portugal, has written a letter to the PM begging for mercy and asking him to > release her from the arrest warrant. > > The Prime Minister was an extremely worried man! > > Firstly he had reluctantly taken on the post. He was of a ripe old age. And > here was a young girl called writing letters to him. The PM turned to > his secretary. > > PM: Who in the Guru's name is this ? > > Sec: Sir, she is sadda Punjab di kuddi. She is Bedi. > > PM: Oh! You mean Mandira Bedi? The cricketeer? > > Sec: Sir, Mandira is not a cricketeer. And this is not Mandira, she is > . And she is Abu Salem's girl friend. > > PM: You are confusing me. She already has a boy friend? Then why is she > writing letters to me? > > Sec: Er . she wants you to leave her. > > PM: (looking hastily around) shhh careful. My wife will hear you. > (whispering) But how can I leave her, if I haven't caught her? > > Sec: You see Sir, she does not want you to catch her. And you want to catch > her for Abu Salem. > > PM: Do I? But why would I want to catch anybody for somebody else? > > Sec: Sir, you want to catch her because she will tell you more about the > terrorist Abu Salem. You see, she knows all his secrets. Nothing is hidden > from her. > > PM: Naturally. > > Sec: Yes Sir, completely naturally! > > PM: Okay. So what should I do about this 's letter? > > Sec: I don't know Sir. May be if you consulted a specialist. > > PM: Fine! Fine! Connect me to a specialist. > > The secretary dials a number and mumbles something, then hands over the > phone to the PM. > > PM: Hallo ji! Expert ji, tell me what should I do with this 's letter? > > Expert: Is it French? > > PM: No ji! Seems to be in English with a little Punjabi in between. > > Expert: I didn't know knew Punjabi? Okay, so what's the question? > > PM: What to do with 's letter? > > Expert: Don't! Please don't let her. It's too much trouble. > > PM: huh? What about the terrorist? > > Expert: Yeah! She's a real terror under the briefs. But she is an even > greater terror with legal briefs! > > PM: I am getting confused. What briefs? Who is this speaking? > > Expert: I am Bill Clinton. > > PM: (aside) Oye Secretary! You have connected me to Bill? > > Sec: Yes Sir! He is an expert on . > > PM: Good Morning Bill ji! > > Bill: Actually it is Bill J - for Jefferson, but G is close enough. > > PM: Well Bill ji, what should I do with ji? > > Bill: Is her middle name G. That's news to me. Probably the only thing about > her middle that I do not know! > > PM: Well, what should I do? > > Bill: I wouldn't touch her with a 10-feet barge pole. > > PM: (laughing) you exaggerate! > > Bill: Okay, what about 10 inches? > > PM: Is it okay if instead of replying to her letter I give her an oral > answer? > > Bill: Eeps! Oral and just don't go together. It just leaves a bad > taste in the mouth. > > PM: (confused) You do know this well? > > Bill: Yeah, very well. In and out. > > PM: So what do you suggest? > > Bill: Whatever you do, don't let anything come out. And I mean 'anything'. > It will stain your career. > > PM: Okay ji. Sat Sri Akal Bill ji. > > Bill: Oh yeah! Talking of Bills, you will find mine in the next mail. What > with autobiographies and consultations, my relationship with has > become quite productive, thanks to word of mouth publicity. > > The PM hurriedly keeps the phone, more confused than he was to begin with. > > > -Kishore Shah 1974 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 12, 2004 Report Share Posted November 12, 2004 Ha!Ha!!Ha!!!Fantastic work......very funny!! That is a real diwali blast...) Neeti'86 > (Caution: Viagra humour) > > MONICA'S LETTER > > News Item: Bedi, girl friend of Abu Salem, presently jailed in > Portugal, has written a letter to the PM begging for mercy and asking him to > release her from the arrest warrant. > > The Prime Minister was an extremely worried man! > > Firstly he had reluctantly taken on the post. He was of a ripe old age. And > here was a young girl called writing letters to him. The PM turned to > his secretary. > > PM: Who in the Guru's name is this ? > > Sec: Sir, she is sadda Punjab di kuddi. She is Bedi. > > PM: Oh! You mean Mandira Bedi? The cricketeer? > > Sec: Sir, Mandira is not a cricketeer. And this is not Mandira, she is > . And she is Abu Salem's girl friend. > > PM: You are confusing me. She already has a boy friend? Then why is she > writing letters to me? > > Sec: Er . she wants you to leave her. > > PM: (looking hastily around) shhh careful. My wife will hear you. > (whispering) But how can I leave her, if I haven't caught her? > > Sec: You see Sir, she does not want you to catch her. And you want to catch > her for Abu Salem. > > PM: Do I? But why would I want to catch anybody for somebody else? > > Sec: Sir, you want to catch her because she will tell you more about the > terrorist Abu Salem. You see, she knows all his secrets. Nothing is hidden > from her. > > PM: Naturally. > > Sec: Yes Sir, completely naturally! > > PM: Okay. So what should I do about this 's letter? > > Sec: I don't know Sir. May be if you consulted a specialist. > > PM: Fine! Fine! Connect me to a specialist. > > The secretary dials a number and mumbles something, then hands over the > phone to the PM. > > PM: Hallo ji! Expert ji, tell me what should I do with this 's letter? > > Expert: Is it French? > > PM: No ji! Seems to be in English with a little Punjabi in between. > > Expert: I didn't know knew Punjabi? Okay, so what's the question? > > PM: What to do with 's letter? > > Expert: Don't! Please don't let her. It's too much trouble. > > PM: huh? What about the terrorist? > > Expert: Yeah! She's a real terror under the briefs. But she is an even > greater terror with legal briefs! > > PM: I am getting confused. What briefs? Who is this speaking? > > Expert: I am Bill Clinton. > > PM: (aside) Oye Secretary! You have connected me to Bill? > > Sec: Yes Sir! He is an expert on . > > PM: Good Morning Bill ji! > > Bill: Actually it is Bill J - for Jefferson, but G is close enough. > > PM: Well Bill ji, what should I do with ji? > > Bill: Is her middle name G. That's news to me. Probably the only thing about > her middle that I do not know! > > PM: Well, what should I do? > > Bill: I wouldn't touch her with a 10-feet barge pole. > > PM: (laughing) you exaggerate! > > Bill: Okay, what about 10 inches? > > PM: Is it okay if instead of replying to her letter I give her an oral > answer? > > Bill: Eeps! Oral and just don't go together. It just leaves a bad > taste in the mouth. > > PM: (confused) You do know this well? > > Bill: Yeah, very well. In and out. > > PM: So what do you suggest? > > Bill: Whatever you do, don't let anything come out. And I mean 'anything'. > It will stain your career. > > PM: Okay ji. Sat Sri Akal Bill ji. > > Bill: Oh yeah! Talking of Bills, you will find mine in the next mail. What > with autobiographies and consultations, my relationship with has > become quite productive, thanks to word of mouth publicity. > > The PM hurriedly keeps the phone, more confused than he was to begin with. > > > -Kishore Shah 1974 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 12, 2004 Report Share Posted November 12, 2004 Ha!Ha!!Ha!!!Fantastic work......very funny!! That is a real diwali blast...) Neeti'86 > (Caution: Viagra humour) > > MONICA'S LETTER > > News Item: Bedi, girl friend of Abu Salem, presently jailed in > Portugal, has written a letter to the PM begging for mercy and asking him to > release her from the arrest warrant. > > The Prime Minister was an extremely worried man! > > Firstly he had reluctantly taken on the post. He was of a ripe old age. And > here was a young girl called writing letters to him. The PM turned to > his secretary. > > PM: Who in the Guru's name is this ? > > Sec: Sir, she is sadda Punjab di kuddi. She is Bedi. > > PM: Oh! You mean Mandira Bedi? The cricketeer? > > Sec: Sir, Mandira is not a cricketeer. And this is not Mandira, she is > . And she is Abu Salem's girl friend. > > PM: You are confusing me. She already has a boy friend? Then why is she > writing letters to me? > > Sec: Er . she wants you to leave her. > > PM: (looking hastily around) shhh careful. My wife will hear you. > (whispering) But how can I leave her, if I haven't caught her? > > Sec: You see Sir, she does not want you to catch her. And you want to catch > her for Abu Salem. > > PM: Do I? But why would I want to catch anybody for somebody else? > > Sec: Sir, you want to catch her because she will tell you more about the > terrorist Abu Salem. You see, she knows all his secrets. Nothing is hidden > from her. > > PM: Naturally. > > Sec: Yes Sir, completely naturally! > > PM: Okay. So what should I do about this 's letter? > > Sec: I don't know Sir. May be if you consulted a specialist. > > PM: Fine! Fine! Connect me to a specialist. > > The secretary dials a number and mumbles something, then hands over the > phone to the PM. > > PM: Hallo ji! Expert ji, tell me what should I do with this 's letter? > > Expert: Is it French? > > PM: No ji! Seems to be in English with a little Punjabi in between. > > Expert: I didn't know knew Punjabi? Okay, so what's the question? > > PM: What to do with 's letter? > > Expert: Don't! Please don't let her. It's too much trouble. > > PM: huh? What about the terrorist? > > Expert: Yeah! She's a real terror under the briefs. But she is an even > greater terror with legal briefs! > > PM: I am getting confused. What briefs? Who is this speaking? > > Expert: I am Bill Clinton. > > PM: (aside) Oye Secretary! You have connected me to Bill? > > Sec: Yes Sir! He is an expert on . > > PM: Good Morning Bill ji! > > Bill: Actually it is Bill J - for Jefferson, but G is close enough. > > PM: Well Bill ji, what should I do with ji? > > Bill: Is her middle name G. That's news to me. Probably the only thing about > her middle that I do not know! > > PM: Well, what should I do? > > Bill: I wouldn't touch her with a 10-feet barge pole. > > PM: (laughing) you exaggerate! > > Bill: Okay, what about 10 inches? > > PM: Is it okay if instead of replying to her letter I give her an oral > answer? > > Bill: Eeps! Oral and just don't go together. It just leaves a bad > taste in the mouth. > > PM: (confused) You do know this well? > > Bill: Yeah, very well. In and out. > > PM: So what do you suggest? > > Bill: Whatever you do, don't let anything come out. And I mean 'anything'. > It will stain your career. > > PM: Okay ji. Sat Sri Akal Bill ji. > > Bill: Oh yeah! Talking of Bills, you will find mine in the next mail. What > with autobiographies and consultations, my relationship with has > become quite productive, thanks to word of mouth publicity. > > The PM hurriedly keeps the phone, more confused than he was to begin with. > > > -Kishore Shah 1974 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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