Re: Re: Help Please with Oppositional behavior

[Guest guest]

My daughter 8 who I faught like he-- to get her back in district, she is in a

PDD program. She has major oppositional issues. She says " I can't do it "

when she can, " No " and " help me I can't do it " (when she can). Her teacher

wrote me a letter today, they spent the whole day trying to get my daughter to

do

work that she can do! she acts like this with her OT therapist and also with

me at home. I am at witts end, don't know what to do, can someone suggest

some help for us????

thank you

K

[Guest guest]

I completely understand what frustration you feel. My daughter is also 8

and does the exact same things in the same places as your daughter. I had

her privately tested for I.Q./behavioral assessment (even though at this

age, this score couldn't really be used as a measure of her real

intelligence). It did help me see why she has this attitude. She has major

self esteem issues and feels frustrated by her own slowness. She stated

that everyone would like her if she was just faster and better. She also

started suffering from panic attacks and anxiety at her inability to " get

it " . This helped me in getting a designated para in her class for her last

year. She helped my daughter through these " I can't do it " days. They

perservered and she gently insisted that my daughter try each different

task. As I instructed the para, everything she did well, even if the

teacher had to make up some " Good job " moments, really helped to build her

confidence.

We also work through these moments at home. She knows that she cannot get

out of a task just because she " can't do it " . If for example, she's in the

bath and refuses to hold her soapy washcloth and wash herself, well -- we

just sit there until she gets cold enough to be motivated. Luckily so far,

she's always given in fairly quickly. If it's shoe tying and there's no

rush to be anywhere - guess what -- we'll sit there until she ATTEMPTS to

tie the shoe. If she won't do schoolwork I know she can do - they send it

home to do. If she still won't work on it with me -- guess what - no T.V.

or computer until you do your work. I was amazed at what may daughter was

willing to do when properly motivated. (You have to find the right

motivators).

On tasks that I know for a fact she can do, I will outwait her. If she

attempts, I praise the attempt. Ignore the bad behavior and reward the

good. Sooner or later, there will be more compliance on her part. Kids

sense our frustration when they already feel frustrated as it is.

Hang in there. God bless.

Diane

Re: Re: Help Please with Oppositional

behavior

My daughter 8 who I faught like he-- to get her back in district, she is in

a

PDD program. She has major oppositional issues. She says " I can't do it "

when she can, " No " and " help me I can't do it " (when she can). Her teacher

wrote me a letter today, they spent the whole day trying to get my daughter

to do

work that she can do! she acts like this with her OT therapist and also

with

me at home. I am at witts end, don't know what to do, can someone suggest

some help for us????

thank you

K

[Guest guest]

I completely understand what frustration you feel. My daughter is also 8

and does the exact same things in the same places as your daughter. I had

her privately tested for I.Q./behavioral assessment (even though at this

age, this score couldn't really be used as a measure of her real

intelligence). It did help me see why she has this attitude. She has major

self esteem issues and feels frustrated by her own slowness. She stated

that everyone would like her if she was just faster and better. She also

started suffering from panic attacks and anxiety at her inability to " get

it " . This helped me in getting a designated para in her class for her last

year. She helped my daughter through these " I can't do it " days. They

perservered and she gently insisted that my daughter try each different

task. As I instructed the para, everything she did well, even if the

teacher had to make up some " Good job " moments, really helped to build her

confidence.

We also work through these moments at home. She knows that she cannot get

out of a task just because she " can't do it " . If for example, she's in the

bath and refuses to hold her soapy washcloth and wash herself, well -- we

just sit there until she gets cold enough to be motivated. Luckily so far,

she's always given in fairly quickly. If it's shoe tying and there's no

rush to be anywhere - guess what -- we'll sit there until she ATTEMPTS to

tie the shoe. If she won't do schoolwork I know she can do - they send it

home to do. If she still won't work on it with me -- guess what - no T.V.

or computer until you do your work. I was amazed at what may daughter was

willing to do when properly motivated. (You have to find the right

motivators).

On tasks that I know for a fact she can do, I will outwait her. If she

attempts, I praise the attempt. Ignore the bad behavior and reward the

good. Sooner or later, there will be more compliance on her part. Kids

sense our frustration when they already feel frustrated as it is.

Hang in there. God bless.

Diane

Re: Re: Help Please with Oppositional

behavior

My daughter 8 who I faught like he-- to get her back in district, she is in

a

PDD program. She has major oppositional issues. She says " I can't do it "

when she can, " No " and " help me I can't do it " (when she can). Her teacher

wrote me a letter today, they spent the whole day trying to get my daughter

to do

work that she can do! she acts like this with her OT therapist and also

with

me at home. I am at witts end, don't know what to do, can someone suggest

some help for us????

thank you

K

[Guest guest]

I completely understand what frustration you feel. My daughter is also 8

and does the exact same things in the same places as your daughter. I had

her privately tested for I.Q./behavioral assessment (even though at this

age, this score couldn't really be used as a measure of her real

intelligence). It did help me see why she has this attitude. She has major

self esteem issues and feels frustrated by her own slowness. She stated

that everyone would like her if she was just faster and better. She also

started suffering from panic attacks and anxiety at her inability to " get

it " . This helped me in getting a designated para in her class for her last

year. She helped my daughter through these " I can't do it " days. They

perservered and she gently insisted that my daughter try each different

task. As I instructed the para, everything she did well, even if the

teacher had to make up some " Good job " moments, really helped to build her

confidence.

We also work through these moments at home. She knows that she cannot get

out of a task just because she " can't do it " . If for example, she's in the

bath and refuses to hold her soapy washcloth and wash herself, well -- we

just sit there until she gets cold enough to be motivated. Luckily so far,

she's always given in fairly quickly. If it's shoe tying and there's no

rush to be anywhere - guess what -- we'll sit there until she ATTEMPTS to

tie the shoe. If she won't do schoolwork I know she can do - they send it

home to do. If she still won't work on it with me -- guess what - no T.V.

or computer until you do your work. I was amazed at what may daughter was

willing to do when properly motivated. (You have to find the right

motivators).

On tasks that I know for a fact she can do, I will outwait her. If she

attempts, I praise the attempt. Ignore the bad behavior and reward the

good. Sooner or later, there will be more compliance on her part. Kids

sense our frustration when they already feel frustrated as it is.

Hang in there. God bless.

Diane

Re: Re: Help Please with Oppositional

behavior

My daughter 8 who I faught like he-- to get her back in district, she is in

a

PDD program. She has major oppositional issues. She says " I can't do it "

when she can, " No " and " help me I can't do it " (when she can). Her teacher

wrote me a letter today, they spent the whole day trying to get my daughter

to do

work that she can do! she acts like this with her OT therapist and also

with

me at home. I am at witts end, don't know what to do, can someone suggest

some help for us????

thank you

K