Guest guest Posted October 14, 2004 Report Share Posted October 14, 2004 Hi all. I feel like my current issues are minor in comparison to what others are going through right now. However, I know you all are so experienced and wise and hoped you might be able to offer a little advice. My son (age 8 1/2), has a new compulsion that I know I contributed to, and now am unsure how to handle. He is writing down lists all over the place. I think I might have posted this before? We've been able to talk about it finally, and he acknowledges it is OCD making him write the lists and check them. He also admitted he is scared to go into the refrigerator again. This is something we did ERP successfully a year ago (at his worst he refused to EAT anything that had ever been in the fridge) but I hadn't really noticed was back, because it's an avoidance issue. Anyway, we are struggling with the possibilities of raising his meds or returning to therapy (he doesn't want to do either) or trying to tackle it at home (his preference). Raising his meds is tempting - easier on both of us and it might help (the last med increase seemed to wipe out his cleaning compulsion), but somehow seems like a copout. Going back to therapy is expensive and hard work (can you tell I am feeling discouraged - not up to the task) but would likely be successful. Handling it here at home with our own ERP seems to make sense except I don't have a clear idea on what to do with the list issue. How do you expose someone to a list? Or to not writing one? Do I try to work on limiting the number of lists, number of things he writes on it or how many times a day? Do we work on trying to see how long he can wait before he writes something down? And how do you work on that when the compulsion is only active once in while? And what about the lists he writes at school. He is no longer bringing them home daily since we talked, but that might mean he's just hiding them from me. We would be so grateful for any ideas or feedback anyone can offer about the whole thing. I would feel so alone without this list. Bless you all!! - in MI Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 14, 2004 Report Share Posted October 14, 2004 Hi , One of the signs that my 12 year old daughter's OCD is ramping back up is the sudden proliferation of lists all over the house. It drives us crazy, mostly because of the amount of paper being used to write and rewrite the same things over and over and over...Sometimes there are 20 or more lists scattered about the living room. We worked on this by having her write ONE list on a topic (such as : life goals, what to do today, favorite tv shows, etc.) and then had her hang it on her bulletin board, or somewhere that she felt comfortable with. Then she worked on just accepting that this one list was never going to be perfect, but she wouldn't rewrite it until the next day (or longer if it was a list like " life goals " that hadn't changed much in the last 24 hours!). This seemed to help for her, or else this compulsion just gradually faded on its own when school started. I know that this is a result of MY need to have lists, and I understand her wanting to rewrite it and add to it constantly as well. I don't have the time to do that (thankfully) but I do get pretty irritated when my husband adds something to my " to do " list in his messy handwriting! And I have been known to rewrite it sometimes. So there's a bit of this OCD thing in me as well! If your son has successfully completed some ERP therapy then you might be able to just remind him that OCD has a tendancy to creep back in when no one is looking, and that the same techniques that worked before will work again. Perhaps he could come up with a way to work on it? We have found that having my daughter help design her own exposure exercises makes a huge difference. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 18, 2004 Report Share Posted October 18, 2004 Hi , IMO adjusting medication is not taking the easy way out. It is to be expected occasionally when taking SSRIs long term. An SSRI dose may need to be adjusted over time, or sometimes meds changed altogether due to " poop out " . Also it's not necessarily med adjustment OR resume therapy, frequently enough both are needed if OCD is waxing. Re: the list making, when your son feels the compulsion to make a list or add to/revise an existing one, you could challenge him to wait longer and longer periods of time before doing so. He could also " do it wrong " somehow, write down the wrong thing in the wrong way or whatever. ( " Wrong " is whatever is not exactly what OCD is demanding.) Delaying, and messing it up, are two approaches to compulsions that have worked well with my child, both in and out of formal therapy setting. My child has had obsessions and compulsions return after successfully bossing them through ERP. The same exposures that worked the first time with the refrigerator avoidance can work again. Once it's minimized, you could occasionally ask your son to get things from the refrigerator, get out items for dinner or whatever, to encourage more frequent contact with the refrigerator and its contents. Formal therapy isn't meant to be forever, though there may be times when booster sessions are needed. Instead the idea is the child learns the tools and how/when to apply them in their daily lives to keep OCD small. If your son prefers to try using his tools at home first before returning to formal therapy, this seems a reasonable first step to me. You can always choose to restart therapy if or when it seems he is struggling with home exposures and needs the support and direction of his therapist. Take care, Kathy R. in Indiana ----- Original Message ----- > Hi all. I feel like my current issues are minor in comparison to what others > are going through right now. However, I know you all are so experienced and > wise and hoped you might be able to offer a little advice. My son (age 8 1/2), > has a new compulsion that I know I contributed to, and now am unsure how to > handle. He is writing down lists all over the place. I think I might have > posted this before? We've been able to talk about it finally, and he acknowledges > it is OCD making him write the lists and check them. He also admitted he is > scared to go into the refrigerator again. This is something we did ERP > successfully a year ago (at his worst he refused to EAT anything that had ever been > in the fridge) but I hadn't really noticed was back, because it's an avoidance > issue. > > Anyway, we are struggling with the possibilities of raising his meds or > returning to therapy (he doesn't want to do either) or trying to tackle it at home > (his preference). Raising his meds is tempting - easier on both of us and it > might help (the last med increase seemed to wipe out his cleaning > compulsion), but somehow seems like a copout. Going back to therapy is expensive and > hard work (can you tell I am feeling discouraged - not up to the task) but would > likely be successful. Handling it here at home with our own ERP seems to make > sense except I don't have a clear idea on what to do with the list issue. > How do you expose someone to a list? Or to not writing one? Do I try to work > on limiting the number of lists, number of things he writes on it or how many > times a day? Do we work on trying to see how long he can wait before he writes > something down? And how do you work on that when the compulsion is only > active once in while? And what about the lists he writes at school. He is no > longer bringing them home daily since we talked, but that might mean he's just > hiding them from me. > > We would be so grateful for any ideas or feedback anyone can offer about the > whole thing. I would feel so alone without this list. Bless you all!! - > in MI Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 18, 2004 Report Share Posted October 18, 2004 Hi , IMO adjusting medication is not taking the easy way out. It is to be expected occasionally when taking SSRIs long term. An SSRI dose may need to be adjusted over time, or sometimes meds changed altogether due to " poop out " . Also it's not necessarily med adjustment OR resume therapy, frequently enough both are needed if OCD is waxing. Re: the list making, when your son feels the compulsion to make a list or add to/revise an existing one, you could challenge him to wait longer and longer periods of time before doing so. He could also " do it wrong " somehow, write down the wrong thing in the wrong way or whatever. ( " Wrong " is whatever is not exactly what OCD is demanding.) Delaying, and messing it up, are two approaches to compulsions that have worked well with my child, both in and out of formal therapy setting. My child has had obsessions and compulsions return after successfully bossing them through ERP. The same exposures that worked the first time with the refrigerator avoidance can work again. Once it's minimized, you could occasionally ask your son to get things from the refrigerator, get out items for dinner or whatever, to encourage more frequent contact with the refrigerator and its contents. Formal therapy isn't meant to be forever, though there may be times when booster sessions are needed. Instead the idea is the child learns the tools and how/when to apply them in their daily lives to keep OCD small. If your son prefers to try using his tools at home first before returning to formal therapy, this seems a reasonable first step to me. You can always choose to restart therapy if or when it seems he is struggling with home exposures and needs the support and direction of his therapist. Take care, Kathy R. in Indiana ----- Original Message ----- > Hi all. I feel like my current issues are minor in comparison to what others > are going through right now. However, I know you all are so experienced and > wise and hoped you might be able to offer a little advice. My son (age 8 1/2), > has a new compulsion that I know I contributed to, and now am unsure how to > handle. He is writing down lists all over the place. I think I might have > posted this before? We've been able to talk about it finally, and he acknowledges > it is OCD making him write the lists and check them. He also admitted he is > scared to go into the refrigerator again. This is something we did ERP > successfully a year ago (at his worst he refused to EAT anything that had ever been > in the fridge) but I hadn't really noticed was back, because it's an avoidance > issue. > > Anyway, we are struggling with the possibilities of raising his meds or > returning to therapy (he doesn't want to do either) or trying to tackle it at home > (his preference). Raising his meds is tempting - easier on both of us and it > might help (the last med increase seemed to wipe out his cleaning > compulsion), but somehow seems like a copout. Going back to therapy is expensive and > hard work (can you tell I am feeling discouraged - not up to the task) but would > likely be successful. Handling it here at home with our own ERP seems to make > sense except I don't have a clear idea on what to do with the list issue. > How do you expose someone to a list? Or to not writing one? Do I try to work > on limiting the number of lists, number of things he writes on it or how many > times a day? Do we work on trying to see how long he can wait before he writes > something down? And how do you work on that when the compulsion is only > active once in while? And what about the lists he writes at school. He is no > longer bringing them home daily since we talked, but that might mean he's just > hiding them from me. > > We would be so grateful for any ideas or feedback anyone can offer about the > whole thing. I would feel so alone without this list. Bless you all!! - > in MI Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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