Guest guest Posted September 7, 2004 Report Share Posted September 7, 2004 Hi Kathy, How are you? I love reading all your posts because you give so much valuable advice!! Thank you. I just read something you wrote about mornings, and that you would rehearse them. What do you mean by that? My dd needs many reassurances in the A.M. and when she is tired she is in a bad mood. It feels harrassing to me, as she tries to pull me into her wings... Yuck!!! I would love to hear what your " rehearsals " consisted of? Hope you had a great day. Ellen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 7, 2004 Report Share Posted September 7, 2004 Hi Ellen, fine thanks, and thanks for the kind compliment! In the other post I was talking about rehearsing recurring things such as " getting ready for school " to combat my daughter's tendency to be impulsive at these times. She would jump so far off the beam at every turn that just getting dressed (top, pants, socks) could take a half hour or more. So I broke down everything that had to happen every morning before school into steps and a set schedule, and had her practice these as though she were learning a cheer routine or something...each element cued the next one in the string until at the end, she was ready to walk out the door. It worked for us since eventually the " drill " seemed to overwrite her tendency to run off the tracks, get involved in something (many things) that had nothing whatever to do with getting ready for school. It sounds like your daughter has more trouble with OCD/anxiety in the a.m. though? True here too, for years mornings before school and bedtime were the top two times daily for symptoms to peak--high anxiety, irritability from that, compulsiveness, etc. If so, what worked here was: 1. get bedtime " fixed " if there are problems there, your daughter like everyone needs the right amount of sleep in order to function her best in the morning. Everything is much harder if a person is chronically sleep-deprived, including coping with OCD/anxiety. If your child is spending hours obsessing or doing compulsions at bedtime that are eating into her sleep, it is setting up the morning to be harder for her (and you) than it needs to be. Possible fixes are a routine if she doesn't have one now, perhaps sleep medicine (speak with her doctor--many kids with OCD have disregulated sleep too), getting her OCD meds right, TV/no TV (in other words, cut out things that are not helping--TV for example gets my child ramped up, maybe it is helpful for other kids), etc. etc. Regular bedtime even on weekends if possible. 2. Relable problems, needs for reassurance, anxiety and so on in the morning as OCD. This is for you as well as your daughter. Try to be calm, factual, unruffled--if you are like me and a lot of others, by now you are tense and irritable at the prospect of another unpleasant morning! At some calm time, explain to your daughter than when you answer OCD's bids for reassurance, you are just setting her up to have more and more problems with OCD, and you love her too much to do that. You can offer sympathy and support, tell her you realize she's extra stressed or anxious in the mornings, but try to reduce the reassurances. Withdraw gradually, maybe limit and then step down the number as your child feels better in the a.m. See that she gets up in plenty of time, so she doesn't have to rush which can trigger anxiety. Suggest--strongly LOL--that she shift as much as she can to the afternoon/evening before--she can choose her outfit, maybe shower and etc. the evening before to reduce pressure in the mornings. No homework saved for the morning! If my daughter doesn't do it the afternoon or evening before, she goes off to school with it undone. 3. Address specific morning problems/compulsions with ERP. For example, if your daughter has toothbrushing rituals, or constant doubt about what to wear, those things can be minimized and eliminated with ERP. Is she near impossible to wake in the a.m.? Talk to the doctor, this could be a med side effect (sorry, I don't remember if your child is taking any.) 4. Adequate treatment of OCD and anxiety, through therapy or meds or both, will reduce symptoms all around including in the mornings before school. Good luck, I don't think school mornings are any OCDer's best time, but with some strategizing and effective treatment they can become much less a daily ordeal. I'd say my child's anxiety is only 10% of what it used to be on school mornings, and her bedtime anxiety and ritualizing is nil. She just crawls in bed and crashes. What a miracle :-) Take care, Kathy R. in Indiana ----- Original Message ----- > Hi Kathy, > How are you? I love reading all your posts because you give so much > valuable advice!! Thank you. I just read something you wrote about > mornings, and that you would rehearse them. What do you mean by > that? My dd needs many reassurances in the A.M. and when she is tired > she is in a bad mood. It feels harrassing to me, as she tries to > pull me into her wings... Yuck!!! > I would love to hear what your " rehearsals " consisted of? Hope you > had a great day. Ellen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 7, 2004 Report Share Posted September 7, 2004 Hi Ellen, fine thanks, and thanks for the kind compliment! In the other post I was talking about rehearsing recurring things such as " getting ready for school " to combat my daughter's tendency to be impulsive at these times. She would jump so far off the beam at every turn that just getting dressed (top, pants, socks) could take a half hour or more. So I broke down everything that had to happen every morning before school into steps and a set schedule, and had her practice these as though she were learning a cheer routine or something...each element cued the next one in the string until at the end, she was ready to walk out the door. It worked for us since eventually the " drill " seemed to overwrite her tendency to run off the tracks, get involved in something (many things) that had nothing whatever to do with getting ready for school. It sounds like your daughter has more trouble with OCD/anxiety in the a.m. though? True here too, for years mornings before school and bedtime were the top two times daily for symptoms to peak--high anxiety, irritability from that, compulsiveness, etc. If so, what worked here was: 1. get bedtime " fixed " if there are problems there, your daughter like everyone needs the right amount of sleep in order to function her best in the morning. Everything is much harder if a person is chronically sleep-deprived, including coping with OCD/anxiety. If your child is spending hours obsessing or doing compulsions at bedtime that are eating into her sleep, it is setting up the morning to be harder for her (and you) than it needs to be. Possible fixes are a routine if she doesn't have one now, perhaps sleep medicine (speak with her doctor--many kids with OCD have disregulated sleep too), getting her OCD meds right, TV/no TV (in other words, cut out things that are not helping--TV for example gets my child ramped up, maybe it is helpful for other kids), etc. etc. Regular bedtime even on weekends if possible. 2. Relable problems, needs for reassurance, anxiety and so on in the morning as OCD. This is for you as well as your daughter. Try to be calm, factual, unruffled--if you are like me and a lot of others, by now you are tense and irritable at the prospect of another unpleasant morning! At some calm time, explain to your daughter than when you answer OCD's bids for reassurance, you are just setting her up to have more and more problems with OCD, and you love her too much to do that. You can offer sympathy and support, tell her you realize she's extra stressed or anxious in the mornings, but try to reduce the reassurances. Withdraw gradually, maybe limit and then step down the number as your child feels better in the a.m. See that she gets up in plenty of time, so she doesn't have to rush which can trigger anxiety. Suggest--strongly LOL--that she shift as much as she can to the afternoon/evening before--she can choose her outfit, maybe shower and etc. the evening before to reduce pressure in the mornings. No homework saved for the morning! If my daughter doesn't do it the afternoon or evening before, she goes off to school with it undone. 3. Address specific morning problems/compulsions with ERP. For example, if your daughter has toothbrushing rituals, or constant doubt about what to wear, those things can be minimized and eliminated with ERP. Is she near impossible to wake in the a.m.? Talk to the doctor, this could be a med side effect (sorry, I don't remember if your child is taking any.) 4. Adequate treatment of OCD and anxiety, through therapy or meds or both, will reduce symptoms all around including in the mornings before school. Good luck, I don't think school mornings are any OCDer's best time, but with some strategizing and effective treatment they can become much less a daily ordeal. I'd say my child's anxiety is only 10% of what it used to be on school mornings, and her bedtime anxiety and ritualizing is nil. She just crawls in bed and crashes. What a miracle :-) Take care, Kathy R. in Indiana ----- Original Message ----- > Hi Kathy, > How are you? I love reading all your posts because you give so much > valuable advice!! Thank you. I just read something you wrote about > mornings, and that you would rehearse them. What do you mean by > that? My dd needs many reassurances in the A.M. and when she is tired > she is in a bad mood. It feels harrassing to me, as she tries to > pull me into her wings... Yuck!!! > I would love to hear what your " rehearsals " consisted of? Hope you > had a great day. Ellen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 7, 2004 Report Share Posted September 7, 2004 Hi Ellen, fine thanks, and thanks for the kind compliment! In the other post I was talking about rehearsing recurring things such as " getting ready for school " to combat my daughter's tendency to be impulsive at these times. She would jump so far off the beam at every turn that just getting dressed (top, pants, socks) could take a half hour or more. So I broke down everything that had to happen every morning before school into steps and a set schedule, and had her practice these as though she were learning a cheer routine or something...each element cued the next one in the string until at the end, she was ready to walk out the door. It worked for us since eventually the " drill " seemed to overwrite her tendency to run off the tracks, get involved in something (many things) that had nothing whatever to do with getting ready for school. It sounds like your daughter has more trouble with OCD/anxiety in the a.m. though? True here too, for years mornings before school and bedtime were the top two times daily for symptoms to peak--high anxiety, irritability from that, compulsiveness, etc. If so, what worked here was: 1. get bedtime " fixed " if there are problems there, your daughter like everyone needs the right amount of sleep in order to function her best in the morning. Everything is much harder if a person is chronically sleep-deprived, including coping with OCD/anxiety. If your child is spending hours obsessing or doing compulsions at bedtime that are eating into her sleep, it is setting up the morning to be harder for her (and you) than it needs to be. Possible fixes are a routine if she doesn't have one now, perhaps sleep medicine (speak with her doctor--many kids with OCD have disregulated sleep too), getting her OCD meds right, TV/no TV (in other words, cut out things that are not helping--TV for example gets my child ramped up, maybe it is helpful for other kids), etc. etc. Regular bedtime even on weekends if possible. 2. Relable problems, needs for reassurance, anxiety and so on in the morning as OCD. This is for you as well as your daughter. Try to be calm, factual, unruffled--if you are like me and a lot of others, by now you are tense and irritable at the prospect of another unpleasant morning! At some calm time, explain to your daughter than when you answer OCD's bids for reassurance, you are just setting her up to have more and more problems with OCD, and you love her too much to do that. You can offer sympathy and support, tell her you realize she's extra stressed or anxious in the mornings, but try to reduce the reassurances. Withdraw gradually, maybe limit and then step down the number as your child feels better in the a.m. See that she gets up in plenty of time, so she doesn't have to rush which can trigger anxiety. Suggest--strongly LOL--that she shift as much as she can to the afternoon/evening before--she can choose her outfit, maybe shower and etc. the evening before to reduce pressure in the mornings. No homework saved for the morning! If my daughter doesn't do it the afternoon or evening before, she goes off to school with it undone. 3. Address specific morning problems/compulsions with ERP. For example, if your daughter has toothbrushing rituals, or constant doubt about what to wear, those things can be minimized and eliminated with ERP. Is she near impossible to wake in the a.m.? Talk to the doctor, this could be a med side effect (sorry, I don't remember if your child is taking any.) 4. Adequate treatment of OCD and anxiety, through therapy or meds or both, will reduce symptoms all around including in the mornings before school. Good luck, I don't think school mornings are any OCDer's best time, but with some strategizing and effective treatment they can become much less a daily ordeal. I'd say my child's anxiety is only 10% of what it used to be on school mornings, and her bedtime anxiety and ritualizing is nil. She just crawls in bed and crashes. What a miracle :-) Take care, Kathy R. in Indiana ----- Original Message ----- > Hi Kathy, > How are you? I love reading all your posts because you give so much > valuable advice!! Thank you. I just read something you wrote about > mornings, and that you would rehearse them. What do you mean by > that? My dd needs many reassurances in the A.M. and when she is tired > she is in a bad mood. It feels harrassing to me, as she tries to > pull me into her wings... Yuck!!! > I would love to hear what your " rehearsals " consisted of? Hope you > had a great day. Ellen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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