intrusive

[Guest guest]

Was very late today taking my morning meds because I was seeing if I was still a sleepyhead about the same time of day. I thought that maybe I just responded completely differently than other people reguarding my meds that are supposed to keep you awake. I am that way with Benedryl......makes me very hyper and depressed all at the same time. Dispite the boys getting their medicines on time this morning has been still bouncing off the walls and furnature. Mikael wants to sell him to somebody and the kid is not kidding. I did however get some time alone today to rest. When my mind is not active looking up recipes or writing or reading emails or doing something like housework than the flashbacks start comming.......or maybe they should be called intrusive memories. The problem is that I am remembering more and more of the actual s*abuse and it's nota good thing. It was horrific. Body memories are the worst because I find myself hurting in places I didn't know I had or know that I went through abuse in that area. Explains alot......what has been written on my body. Explains alot too on how I handle being married and my sleep position each night. Sorry if this is too much information.

The children made their daddy presents today with beans, paperplates, colored paper, ribbons, glue................. They made him marrackas and paperplate pockets and bookmarks and the like. I had them busy for almost about 2 hours or so then it was back to the Disney Channel. I am trying out a new recipe tonight that is a one dish casserole. Ground Chuck, onion, rice, mushroom soup.......... The ingredients sound like it'll be delicious. As usual I will be doubling it but will tell you how it turns out and share it if you'd like. I have also been given a list of superb crockpot recipe sites and will share them with you. I have such wonderful friends here that I don't know what I would do without. I have one friend here in Rhode Island that I haven't seen for about 5 months. You guys are my closest and most dear of friends. I can practially tell you ANYTHING. There are times where you know way before Joe even. So much trust and so much confidences have passed these keyboards between me and you and our mutual friends. Thank you.

Joe is washing some of the pans right now and the boys are drying. The chuck is thawing in the microwave and as soon as Joe gets out of the pantry I'll have at it with supper. My hands have been hurting really badly lately and it hurts my hand just to move my arm. I haven't taken anything for it cause I take enough perscription meds already and I don't want to start a problem with one of them.

Was looking through my wallet tonight and opening up recipts and checking them out and found a 20!!! Tomorrow is Joe's birthday and we'll hit the grocery store for milk and fresh bananas cause the ones that Joe got were reduced for quick sale. Guess next week I'll be baking more banana bread......lol Thanks once again for listening to me go on and on. Hope your weekend is going as you want it. Warm tender safe hugs.

heather