Taking the Gifted down

[Guest guest]

I hadn't heard of a single one of these studies until I read this article. However, I have heard it said many times over that falsely pumping up self-esteem was a very bad thing, and its true. I think this is also behind the rise of bullying. Poor and mediocre students have been told they are great but they know they aren't. So they bully and tear up the really gifted students. Also, the do what we would have called stupid stunts because they think they are so smart, teacher told them so, so it can't be that dumb can it?

When I was working on my business degree, one of the men told a story. He worked for a local chemical company that was German owned and many of the managers were German. They had been told that Americans love praise and thrive on it, like puppy dogs. They were told to always praise and heap it on, even for little things. My classmate had to tell them to stop it. What they had been told wasn't really true, that adults could see through that nonsense and all that false praise was patronizing and hurt morale. The effusive praise stopped and workplace morale improved.

http://www.washtimes.com/news/2008/sep/05/taking-the-gifted-down/

MURRAY: Taking the gifted down

MurrayFriday, September 5, 2008

The last of three excerpts.

College is usually pretty easy for the gifted who go into the humanities or social sciences. Those who major in mathematics, engineering and the hard sciences have to pass a tough curriculum, but all the other gifted can readily find undemanding courses in today's colleges that allow them to get a degree without approaching their intellectual limits.

This wouldn't be so awful except that many of these same students arrive at college having been told all their lives that they are absolutely wonderful human beings - and so very, very smart - and they leave college without having any reason to doubt it.

It is a product of the age of self-esteem. Since the self-esteem movement began in the late 1960s, it has become an article of faith among great swathes of American parents and K-12 schools that children are supposed to be praised, because praise fosters high self-esteem. Criticism is destructive, because criticism produces low self-esteem. Classroom competitions should be avoided, because they damage the self-esteem of the losers.

The encouragement of high self-esteem independently of real reason for that esteem became an all-purpose solution to the problems of children. Psychological health, high educational performance, earnings as an adult - whatever the desired outcome, higher self-esteem would help produce it.

Over the last several years, the self-esteem movement has been debunked in the technical literature. The landmark change in scholarly opinion occurred in 2003, when a review of the 15,000 studies that had been written on the relationship of self-esteem to the development of children concluded that improving self-esteem does not raise grades, career achievement, or have any other positive effect.

Worse, scholars are finding that praise that is not linked to performance backfires. For example, contemporary parents commonly tell their children that they are smart, in contrast to an earlier era, when parents were worried about giving their children big heads. But according to a recent meta-analysis of 150 praise studies, praising children for being smart tends to produce children who choose the easier alternative when given a task, who are risk-averse, and who have a diminished sense of autonomy. Researchers are discovering that the more children are praised for being smart, the more important it becomes for them to maintain their image. Their goal becomes to protect themselves, not to outshine others through superior achievement.

It should go without saying that this upbringing does not fit all gifted children. But it corresponds with the milieu in which many gifted children grow up, with the observed behavior of many gifted children, and with the current state of knowledge about the effects of praise.

There is a healthier alternative - healthier for gifted children and for the society that some of them will run as adults. Since they are in fact academically gifted, it is fine to tell them that. Trying to hide their academic ability from them would be futile anyway. But they must also be told explicitly, forcefully and repeatedly that their intellectual talent is a gift that they have done nothing to deserve. They are not superior human beings, but very, very lucky ones. They should feel humbled by their good luck.

At that point, praising them for actual accomplishment is appropriate. But even then, lavish praise is not what students need. Think back on your own college days. The praise you cherish is more likely to be the words of the exacting professor who, when you had done the very best you possibly could, said “Not bad.†That's what today's gifted students will cherish if we give them teachers who demand their best.

This healthier alternative also means making sure that at some point every gifted student fails in some academic task. There is no sadism in this, but an urgent need for our luckiest children to gain perspective on themselves and on their fellows. As matters stand, many among the gifted who manage to avoid serious science and math never take a course from kindergarten through graduate school so tough that they have to say to themselves, “I can't do this.†Lacking that experience, too many gifted graduates are not conscious of their own limits. They don't know, as an established fact, that there are some things they just aren't smart enough to figure out.

Everybody else knows that for a fact. Making sure that all gifted students hit their own personal walls is crucial for developing their empathy with the rest of the world. When they see others struggle with intellectual tasks, they need to be able to say “I know how it feels†- and be telling the truth.

But empathy is not the chief reason that gifted students need to hit the wall. It is even more important that they achieve humility. A wonderful maxim is attributed to Christian, one of Lyndon 's press secretaries: “No one should be allowed to work in the West Wing of the White House who has not suffered a major disappointment in life.†The same principle applies to those who will become members of America's elite. No one among the gifted should be allowed to rise to a position of influence without knowing what it feels like to fail. The experience of internalized humiliation is a prerequisite for humility.

There is much more to be said about college and the gifted, but my theme should be obvious by now. The gifted disproportionately come from homes in which they already have everything going for them, and I have no interest in providing them with still more perks. But the nation has an interest in their education. Since they include the people who will end up running the country, it is time for colleges to start holding their feet to the fire.

Murray is the author of “Real Education: Four Simple Truths for Bringing America's Schools Back to Reality.†It's only a deal if it's where you want to go. Find your travel deal here.

[Guest guest]

I thought it was interesting too. I had no idea so many studies had confirmed what I had been hearing all along. Just think of how badly damaged the last two generations have been by this nonsense. It really explains a lot about the under 30 crowd.

In a message dated 9/5/2008 6:03:30 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, no_reply writes:

Thanks for posting the article .I happen to agree with it, and I posted it in the Family Forum for the edification of the parents. AdministratorPsssst...Have you heard the news? There's a new fashion blog, plus the latest fall trends and hair styles at StyleList.com.

[Guest guest]

Thanks for posting the article .

I happen to agree with it, and I posted it in the Family Forum for the

edification of the parents.

Administrator

[Guest guest]

I would tend to agree with it too (even though I am in the under 30 crowd lol). My parents were very strict on my two younger sisters and I. My father's favorite saying was "There is always room for impovement". This particular saying sent me into a tissy many times as when receiving a 98% on an exam for any of my friends was great, but for me there was room for improvement. Now that I look back on it I am so thankful that my parents were that way. While my friends were told they were doing great and that they were so smart. My parents did tell me that I was smart, but there was always something that I could work on. So, while my friends went to public high school and ended up being "smart", I went to private school and excelled. I went to college and had no troubles (except with people, but we all know

how that is for us lol). My friend did not go to college and the ones who did failed some classes, some ended up switching schools because the program they began in was too hard. Most are not going for a graduate degree, so while they were "smart", I think we can thank our parents for being hard on us and thank them for being part of the older crowd that actually valued intelligence for the gifted rather than just the normal new age definition of smart.~

[Guest guest]

No matter where one falls on the scale, from gifted to profoundly

gifted, receiving praise that is not earned rings hallow. They do know

when they've worked hard to accomplish a goal and in some senerios,

skate by, taking the easy route.

At my son's college prep high school, they did emphasize the importance

of taking the most rigorous classes, even if that meant the student

would not earn an A in the class. The counselors stated that colleges

look highly on those who challenge themselves beyond their normal

capabilities.

In my oldest son's case, he is linguistically gifted but has always had

great difficulty in mathmatics. He chose to push himself in almost all

areas and as a senior, is taking his second year of calculus. He has

hit those brick walls. My youngest son has had those days where he

thinks, " This is impossible! " because he is challenged at the gifted

school we send him and his sister. There have been days where he asked

why we didn't let him go to the regular school, where straight A's might

have been the norm. My daughter pushes herself, though not as hard as

I think she should sometimes (hormones at this time play a major

factor). She has not had any subject that has given her great

difficulties as of yet but I am assuming her high school courses will be

more difficult and she too will find her limits.

My husband and I don't believe in letting our children coast through.

What their potential is and will be depends on how hard they push

themselves. We have conversed with them about the fact that there may

always be someone out there who is smarter than them but without the

drive to accomplish great things, what good does it do?

Kim

[Guest guest]

" My parents were very strict on my two younger sisters and I. My

father's favorite saying was " There is always room for impovement " .

This particular saying sent me into a tissy many times as when

receiving a 98% on an exam for any of my friends was great, but for

me there was room for improvement. "

I was always pushed to excel too. I did excel, but now I don't know

whether or not anything I do is good or not because I have learned to

distrust my own assessment of my skills. That is the downside of

constant negative comments.

" I went to college and had no troubles (except with people, but we

all know how that is for us lol). My friend did not go to college

and the ones who did failed some classes, some ended up switching

schools because the program they began in was too hard. Most are not

going for a graduate degree, so while they were " smart " , I think we

can thank our parents for being hard on us and thank them for being

part of the older crowd that actually valued intelligence for the

gifted rather than just the normal new age definition of smart. "

I made it through college. Most of my friends did not. So I am

thankful for the push to excel to a degree, although once I was in

college, I took responsibility for myself and the accomplishments

were soley mine.

Administrator