Hi from Houston!

[Guest guest]

Hi, all-

Just getting started here, and wanted to introduce myself. My name is Theresa. I

have a

loving husband and two wonderful children, ages 5 1/2 and 3. I have a job where

I know I

am appreciated, great friends, and an amazing mother in law (rare, isn't it?).

But I am far

from happy- which you could probably guess, or I wouldn't be here.

I just returned from a trip to Denver with my husband and his brother & sister.

When it

was time for the plane to leave, I went to buckle my seat belt, and discovered

that I

couldn't do it. I finally did, after about 5 tries, but then I sat in my seat

feeling like a

marshmallow (and not in the fun, sugary way). I was miserable, and for the first

time in

my adult life, I really wanted to die. You can imagine that the experience put a

bit of a pall

on my trip, but I soldiered on, ate as well as I could, didn't shy away from

hiking up the

mountains, and all in all, did manage to have a great time. I guess I was hoping

for a

miracle, and that 3 days later when we left, my seat belt would magically buckle

without a

fight. Naturally, that did not happen.

Several years ago, I told my husband that I was scared of gaining too much

weight. I

arbitrarily chose 300 lbs. as my absolute threshold- if I went above that point,

he was to

immediately sign me up for a boot camp, throw away all the food in the house,

hide me in

the closet, something. Well, I'm way closer to that mark than I really expected

I would be.

My fat clothes are now the only ones that fit; pants I bought 6 months ago are

suddenly

too tight, and I have run out of excuses for myself.

I stumbled upon IOWL through iTunes the other day, and have already been

inspired by

what I've learned. I can actually name most of my internal nay-sayers without

having to

really think about it; that's something I'll go into another time. But I did get

myself a little

notebook to use as a journal/calorie counter. I'll be filling out the worksheet

this evening.

I guess you could say that the airplane experience was my wake-up call. I simply

cannot

face that type of embarrassment again... odds are good that only one, maybe two

people

even noticed, but in my mind's eye, the whole plane was pointing and whispering.

I'm not

sure what kind of program to join, if any. I've started being very cautious with

what I eat,

and wrote everything down today (about 950 calories!). I do know that I could

use some

support and advice. Like I said, my husband is wonderful, but I am fairly

convinced that he

would love me even if I turned purple and blew up like a hot air balloon (like I

said, I am a

lucky girl). So his opinion, while important to me, is also a little skewed,

which is probably

how I got into this mess in the first place.

Wow, they do teach us how to talk here in Texas, don't they? I apologize for the

novel,

appreciate all those who took the time to read it, and truly hope that I can

help- and be

helped- by my fellow members. Good luck on your own journeys, and thank you in

advance for your support and guidance.

Theresa