Guest guest Posted July 25, 2004 Report Share Posted July 25, 2004 I've got to go back and find all those wonderful posts you folks sent in response to my discipline problems with Carole (age 10 1/2). Hubby is just about fed up with her and he just cannot understand why she won't respond to spanking like the other kids. Our biggest fights are over Carole. He thinks I'm too soft on her and I think spanking is something that should be used on the kids very sparingly and almost never on Carole. The problem is that other methods of discipline that really hard work and commitment and he cannot or will not do that and I'm gone so much of the time that I feel like I'm walking into a war zone at night. My hubby is disabled due to health reasons and about 2 years ago took over housekeeping roles and I went back to work to support the family. This summer is really rough on him with all 4 kids home. He's had gastric bypass in April (weight loss surgery) but the road to recovery has been a long slow one. Its hard enough with the other kids, but add Carole into the mix and he's ready to put her in a *home*. I love Carole dearly, but I also get frustrated with her. has little patience with her. She was trying to help him mow our tiny yard yesterday but he didn't have the patience to show her how to mow over and over again. She kept ignoring basic commands like hold the cord away from the mower (we have an electric mower) and kept missing whole spots, so after a few minutes, chased her away in frustration. She came slamming inside screaming she was an idiot and a dummy and no one loved her. Later the same day I found her sitting next to our new water cooler playing with the spigot and letting water pour into the bottom part. All four kids had been sternly lectured about not wasting water - this was for drinking ONLY and to only get what you planned on drinking at that time. She apologized profusely as she always does. I pulled out the bottom part, poured the water into a cup and told her she had to drink it. She ran off with the cup into a corner of the living room complaining how stupid and what a dummy and idiot she is. I did NOT lay a hand on her and didn't yell at her, but did, in a stern voice, let her know what she did was wrong and that she'd been warned about it. Anyhow, this is typical for Carole. She's a bright, sweet, wonderful kid but confusing and frustrating. Debbie http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/MomsofAspergerGirls Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 25, 2004 Report Share Posted July 25, 2004 Hi Debbie! My daughter is 4 years old and I totally agree with you that the spanking thing does not work on our special kids! She definately gets worse! I have to use stern words and some symbols from her pecs book. I too have had weight loss surgery(6 weeks ago). Does your husband get involved with any support groups or even this online group? I'd love to talk with him. It's really hard to go through the wls and have a special child! All I can say is hang in there. Hannah is getting better now, but she didn't understand at first about my surgery. We are down to a couple bad meltdowns a day. I wish you lot's of patience and support! This is such a hard road! Best wishes and if you ever want to talk my private email is dpm1d2@... Sincerely Janet in KC ________________________________ From: Debbie Sent: Sun 7/25/2004 7:13 AM To: Autism_in_Girls Subject: Carole I've got to go back and find all those wonderful posts you folks sent in response to my discipline problems with Carole (age 10 1/2). Hubby is just about fed up with her and he just cannot understand why she won't respond to spanking like the other kids. Our biggest fights are over Carole. He thinks I'm too soft on her and I think spanking is something that should be used on the kids very sparingly and almost never on Carole. The problem is that other methods of discipline that really hard work and commitment and he cannot or will not do that and I'm gone so much of the time that I feel like I'm walking into a war zone at night. My hubby is disabled due to health reasons and about 2 years ago took over housekeeping roles and I went back to work to support the family. This summer is really rough on him with all 4 kids home. He's had gastric bypass in April (weight loss surgery) but the road to recovery has been a long slow one. Its hard enough with the other kids, but add Carole into the mix and he's ready to put her in a *home*. I love Carole dearly, but I also get frustrated with her. has little patience with her. She was trying to help him mow our tiny yard yesterday but he didn't have the patience to show her how to mow over and over again. She kept ignoring basic commands like hold the cord away from the mower (we have an electric mower) and kept missing whole spots, so after a few minutes, chased her away in frustration. She came slamming inside screaming she was an idiot and a dummy and no one loved her. Later the same day I found her sitting next to our new water cooler playing with the spigot and letting water pour into the bottom part. All four kids had been sternly lectured about not wasting water - this was for drinking ONLY and to only get what you planned on drinking at that time. She apologized profusely as she always does. I pulled out the bottom part, poured the water into a cup and told her she had to drink it. She ran off with the cup into a corner of the living room complaining how stupid and what a dummy and idiot she is. I did NOT lay a hand on her and didn't yell at her, but did, in a stern voice, let her know what she did was wrong and that she'd been warned about it. Anyhow, this is typical for Carole. She's a bright, sweet, wonderful kid but confusing and frustrating. Debbie http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/MomsofAspergerGirls Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 30, 2004 Report Share Posted July 30, 2004 Hi Debbie! My daughter is 4 years old and I totally agree with you that the spanking thing does not work on our special kids! She definately gets worse! I have to use stern words and some symbols from her pecs book. I too have had weight loss surgery(6 weeks ago). Does your husband get involved with any support groups or even this online group? ~~~~~~~~~~~` Janet - I'm several days behind in email on some groups. Hubby doesn't get online. I had him join a fun group I belong to and he posted maybe twice and then the emails accumulated till I unsubbed him and manually deleted all the mail from his mailbox. Hubby isn't a computer person except to play card games. I did order 3 books from Amazon tonight, one of which was a recommendation from a group member: ** Survival Strategies for Parenting Your Add Child: Dealing With Obsessions Compulsions, Depression, Explosive Behavior, and Rage ** Parenting a Child With Asperger Syndrome: 200 Tips and Strategies ** The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children I'm hoping these will help with understanding Carole. And hubby won't read them, so its up to me to squeeze in the time. Debbie Join the group for Christians who love Lord of the Rings and J.R.R. Tolkien http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Christiantolkienfans Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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