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Re: Jacquie

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Jacquie,

We couldn't find anyone listed on the web site in our area, so in

desperation just started calling local ped. Psychologists.

Some would answer regarding type of treatment, some would not. The one we

chose specializes in children and is a Neuropsychologist. She uses CBT/ERP.

Id try calling docs in your area to see if they just aren't listed with

ocfoundation , like it was here.

a message dated 1/5/2009 9:08:11 A.M. Central Standard Time,

home_maker97@... writes:

Should we panic that we cant find a doc? Are there any other good self helps

for this, ways we can do it without a doc? Will our son get worse just

because we cant find a doc?

Jacquie

**************New year...new news. Be the first to know what is making

headlines. (http://www.aol.com/?ncid=emlcntaolcom00000026)

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I'm so glad you were able to get an appt. I wish it were sooner.

Gosh, I don't know what to say about what you and your son are going

through.

Micah has obsessions, but none violent that I know of.

I'm so glad you got the appt. and wish I had some advise, hopefully someone

else will.

I wish the best for you both Jacquie,

In a message dated 1/5/2009 11:07:14 A.M. Central Standard Time,

home_maker97@... writes:

Thanks. I called and found a place. We have an appointment on the 26th at

1:30pm.

Today he HAD to tell me that he thinks he knows what i will sound like if he

stabs me.

How am i suppose to deal with it? Part of me is using my fight or flight

response and wants to get rid of him!

Is there ANY chance that an OCD child will be normal at all? I keep thinking

of Howie Mandel. He has a wife and three kids and OCD. But his is germ fear,

not murdering his mommy who loves him!!!!

Jacquie

**************New year...new news. Be the first to know what is making

headlines. (http://www.aol.com/?ncid=emlcntaolcom00000026)

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Yep, but I wonder if Howie Mandel is working on his OCD since he won't

shake hands. Seems to me he needs to do a little ERP to try to

overcome his contamination issues. lol And you never know what

thoughts me might be having. I'm sure he just doesn't talk about it.

.. . .Know what I mean.

I know it is scary to hear your child say something like that,

Jacquie, but the reality is. .They will never carry it out. It is

just another way that OCD is manifesting itself. Often they have

disturbing thoughts like that, but that's OCD at work, and the reason

it is disturbing is because they don't like the thought either, but

can't control it.

The best thing to do it not let it rattle you. Instead, respond in a

calm way, saying something like " Gee, there's that OCD at work again.

Guess you need to boss that one back and tell the OCD to shut up and

go away. " Put the blame on the OCD. That puts both of you on the

same side, against it.

Or if he is older, you can have him look at it like this. . .It is a

thought that doesn't deserve any recognition. It is just OCD, doing

what OCD does. And they can use the analogy of junk email. It has

headlines that scream at you, but they are junk and need to be

deleted. So you pay them no mind, even though it's there. With OCD,

they have the thought, recognize it as OCD, then disregard it as not

important, and try to move on.

Children with OCD will always have it. They just need the tools to

learn how to live with it and control it, instead of it controlling

them. That is normal for them. But, they can live a good life with it.

Don't lose hope. It can get better.

BJ

>

> Thanks. I called and found a place. We have an appointment on the

26th at 1:30pm.

> Today he HAD to tell me that he thinks he knows what i will sound

like if he stabs me.

> How am i suppose to deal with it? Part of me is using my fight or

flight response and wants to get rid of him!

> Is there ANY chance that an OCD child will be normal at all? I

keep thinking of Howie Mandel. He has a wife and three kids and OCD.

But his is germ fear, not murdering his mommy who loves him!!!!

> Jacquie

>

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HI Jacquie,

Yes, I have heard statements like that from both of my kids. I know how

terrifying it is and how it breaks your heart, yet at the same time you'd like

to throttle them!!!

I find the best way to deal with the statements is to ignore them.They then see

you are not paying any attention to the OCD(and / or whatever they have going on

in their heads that is not rational)

Hopefully once you get to the appointment, You can get your child into therapy

and or meds.

And, yes your child can learn to think normally again, but it takes a very long

time and lots of patience, etc.

I have OCD and always STILL get disgusting horrific intrusive thoughts, but as

an adult , I have learned to manage them.

 A thought is just a thought.

Hugs to you!

Judy

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************

A thought is just a thought.

************

So simple, yet so true, Judy! It seemed like Josh had to not just

hear that, but " know " it before he was able to move past them. It

seemed to be key for him.

BJ

>

> HI Jacquie,

> Yes, I have heard statements like that from both of my kids. I know

how terrifying it is and how it breaks your heart, yet at the same

time you'd like to throttle them!!!

> I find the best way to deal with the statements is to ignore

them.They then see you are not paying any attention to the OCD(and /

or whatever they have going on in their heads that is not rational)

> Hopefully once you get to the appointment, You can get your child

into therapy and or meds.

> And, yes your child can learn to think normally again, but it takes

a very long time and lots of patience, etc.

> I have OCD and always STILL get disgusting horrific intrusive

thoughts, but as an adult , I have learned to manage them.

>  A thought is just a thought.

> Hugs to you!

> Judy

>

>

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Thank you greatly for your encouragement! I feel this group is a life saver.

Thanks so much.

Jacquie

>

> Subject: Re: Jacquie

> To:

> Date: Monday, January 5, 2009, 3:49 PM

>

>

> ************

>

> A thought is just a thought.

>

> ************

>

> So simple, yet so true, Judy! It seemed like Josh had to

> not just

> hear that, but " know " it before he was able to

> move past them. It

> seemed to be key for him.

>

> BJ

>

>

>

>

> >

> > HI Jacquie,

> > Yes, I have heard statements like that from both of my

> kids. I know

> how terrifying it is and how it breaks your heart, yet at

> the same

> time you'd like to throttle them!!!

> > I find the best way to deal with the statements is to

> ignore

> them.They then see you are not paying any attention to the

> OCD(and /

> or whatever they have going on in their heads that is not

> rational)

> > Hopefully once you get to the appointment, You can get

> your child

> into therapy and or meds.

> > And, yes your child can learn to think normally again,

> but it takes

> a very long time and lots of patience, etc.

> > I have OCD and always STILL get disgusting horrific

> intrusive

> thoughts, but as an adult , I have learned to manage them.

> >  A thought is just a thought.

> > Hugs to you!

> > Judy

> >

> >

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Hi Jacquie, glad you got an appt this month, that's great!

As to how to handle his confessions, like today -- that can vary per

child. I mean, is he upset when he tells you or sort of matter-of-

fact? So responses would vary, depending.

And, yes, he will make progress. All this is new to him too, he'll get

his CBT/ERP tools and learn to use them, manage/cope with it all

better. We parents adjust too, life with OCD in the family! I think

it's good he's able to tell you all this, upsetting & scary as it can

be to have to listen sometimes.

>

> Thanks. I called and found a place. We have an appointment on the

26th at 1:30pm.

> Today he HAD to tell me that he thinks he knows what i will sound

like if he stabs me.

> How am i suppose to deal with it? Part of me is using my fight or

flight response and wants to get rid of him!

> Is there ANY chance that an OCD child will be normal at all? I

keep thinking of Howie Mandel. He has a wife and three kids and OCD.

But his is germ fear, not murdering his mommy who loves him!!!!

> Jacquie

>

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Hi Jacquie,

We had this sort of thing and more (teen), so had the added " fun " of

his expressing his thoughts as desires at times. As others say, the

more attention you give it, and your reaction to it can fuel it or

neutralize it. Hard to not feel somewhat sickened by this, good to

remember he has to navigate all this too.

Sometimes there is a sort of morbid curiosity for them at what their

minds will churn up, that is probably after they get over the horror

of it. The case for ours anyway, again, a teen, so he did learn

to " play " with it, but was really freaked out by it at the outset and

would not even talk about any of it. Better if they will talk about

it and not be alone with it, even though it can be hard to take.

Just wondered if anyone had mentioned the website -

www.westsuffolkpsych.homestead - they have some good articles on this

type of morbid thoughts and other good articles too. Also check

Wikipedia they actually have up to date info on OCD, treatment,

symptoms, also ocdchicago.org. Lots of other sites out there, just

google OCD treatment. Not sure if you could access this one it's

Canadian - Anxiety BC, they have strategies for coping with OCD at

home that I thought were good, explaining ERP ideas too.

Hang in there, only a few more weeks until that appointment.

Hugs!

Barb

>

> Thanks. I called and found a place. We have an appointment on the

26th at 1:30pm.

> Today he HAD to tell me that he thinks he knows what i will sound

like if he stabs me.

> How am i suppose to deal with it? Part of me is using my fight

or flight response and wants to get rid of him!

> Is there ANY chance that an OCD child will be normal at all? I

keep thinking of Howie Mandel. He has a wife and three kids and OCD.

But his is germ fear, not murdering his mommy who loves him!!!!

> Jacquie

>

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