Guest guest Posted March 23, 2006 Report Share Posted March 23, 2006 Hi, Jim too is obsessed with the money issue. He always wanted the statements, but he couldn't understand them and would tell me I needed to do a ledger for him to see each week and I would give him the balance and he would say it is wrong and write random numbers or attempt to write numbers all over it that made no sense at all and say, " that is how to do it. " So I started making copies of the ledger. One for him to do his thing on and one for me to keep the balance. I let him think his ledger was the one I use. His delusions of me stealing money, even the caregiver has been accused, is still an issue with him. He always kept a few $100 dollars around the house when he used to golf and for years after dx w/LBD wanted to have that amount of money, even though he didn't need it and I would give it to him and he would horde it in places where he would forget where it was and even now I am finding money in shoes and old clothes when I clean out the closets.(That's the fun part.) I discovered one day that I had brought some play money home in my pocket from the preschool and placed it on the table. Jim thought it was real and I couldn't get near him, he was so obsessed with the money and thought I would steal it from him, so I left him alone and he went off to hide it, so now I give him play money and he is happy with it and hides it all over the house. We are living on Jim's pension, since I had to resign from my full time job to care for him. He knew exactly the day that the pension would arrive in the mail. I could not have it automatically deposited, because he had to see it and if he didn't I was stealing it. Every month I would go to the bank to deposit it to pay the bills and he had to go with me to make sure it was getting in. One day out of nowhere he started yelling loud that I was stealing his money and not to deposit it. It was so embarrassing, with him yelling I was stealing his money and they wouldn't deposit it, they got the manager to come and speak with me. Thank goodness one of the tellers recognized us and knew the situation with Jim and explained it to the manager and then I was able to deposit the money. I then got a Durable Power of Attorney Financially to handle the money and sign Jim's pension. Jan Colello --- jillmollykady wrote: > Thanks for your reply. My mom has to go through > their financial > statements and assure my dad that they have plenty > of money. We > can't quite figure out why he wants to know, just > reassure him that > everything is taken care of and he doesn't have to > worry. That > works for now... > Jill > > > > > > > > > > It is funny that you asked whether there are > others that obsess > about money > > and to that I say yes. We don't have a thing to > worry about > financially and > > my husband keeps wanting to make plans for giving > money to our > grandchildren > > for their education. The subject comes up about > every other day > and I tell him > > what we decided and yet he won't let it go. And, > I have to show > him the > > financial statements constantly. It is just a > little annoyance > and I guess I > > should be thankful that he is obsessing about this > and not about > something > > else. Arlene > > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 24, 2006 Report Share Posted March 24, 2006 Could you go ahead and do the direct deposit but then take a picture of one of the checks, and each time the check was to arrive, place it in an envelope and pretend it came in the mail, or would he look at the date and know it wasn't real? Or, would he have to be sure you went to the bank with it? WHen my husband was at the " hands-on " point, he would constantly get in the papers and bills and move them and mix them up. I heard that if you give them a file folder of papers, they will be content with that and leave other things alone, but I usually just gave him some other stuff and never did make a real file for him. It probably would have helped, though. I also had to quit my job because he couldn't be left alone anymore, and now, it would be hard to get back in because of my age. I did answer an adv. the other day for working at home for the arthritis foundation and hope something will come of it, because it would be ideal. They say you work your own hours, and that's what I need because I never know what his condition is going to be at the NH. --- Janet Colello wrote: > Hi, > Jim too is obsessed with the money issue. He always > wanted the statements, but he couldn't understand > them > and would tell me I needed to do a ledger for him to > see each week and I would give him the balance and > he > would say it is wrong and write random numbers or > attempt to write numbers all over it that made no > sense at all and say, " that is how to do it. " So I > started making copies of the ledger. One for him to > do > his thing on and one for me to keep the balance. I > let > him think his ledger was the one I use. His > delusions > of me stealing money, even the caregiver has been > accused, is still an issue with him. He always kept > a > few $100 dollars around the house when he used to > golf > and for years after dx w/LBD wanted to have that > amount of money, even though he didn't need it and I > would give it to him and he would horde it in places > where he would forget where it was and even now I am > finding money in shoes and old clothes when I clean > out the closets.(That's the fun part.) I discovered > one day that I had brought some play money home in > my > pocket from the preschool and placed it on the > table. > Jim thought it was real and I couldn't get near him, > he was so obsessed with the money and thought I > would > steal it from him, so I left him alone and he went > off > to hide it, so now I give him play money and he is > happy with it and hides it all over the house. > We are living on Jim's pension, since I had to > resign > from my full time job to care for him. He knew > exactly > the day that the pension would arrive in the mail. I > could not have it automatically deposited, because > he > had to see it and if he didn't I was stealing it. > Every month I would go to the bank to deposit it to > pay the bills and he had to go with me to make sure > it > was getting in. One day out of nowhere he started > yelling loud that I was stealing his money and not > to > deposit it. It was so embarrassing, with him yelling > I > was stealing his money and they wouldn't deposit it, > they got the manager to come and speak with me. > Thank > goodness one of the tellers recognized us and knew > the > situation with Jim and explained it to the manager > and > then I was able to deposit the money. I then got a > Durable Power of Attorney Financially to handle the > money and sign Jim's pension. Jan Colello > > > > > > --- jillmollykady wrote: > > > Thanks for your reply. My mom has to go through > > their financial > > statements and assure my dad that they have plenty > > of money. We > > can't quite figure out why he wants to know, just > > reassure him that > > everything is taken care of and he doesn't have to > > worry. That > > works for now... > > Jill > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > It is funny that you asked whether there are > > others that obsess > > about money > > > and to that I say yes. We don't have a thing to > > worry about > > financially and > > > my husband keeps wanting to make plans for > giving > > money to our > > grandchildren > > > for their education. The subject comes up about > > every other day > > and I tell him > > > what we decided and yet he won't let it go. > And, > > I have to show > > him the > > > financial statements constantly. It is just a > > little annoyance > > and I guess I > > > should be thankful that he is obsessing about > this > > and not about > > something > > > else. Arlene > > > > > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > > removed] > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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