Re: Re: Looking for a NH

[Guest guest]

Hi

Thank you so much for your kind words. After I wrote

that last night I realized I might have offended

someone by saying I was giving up by putting her in a

rest home. I realize that many many people are forced

to put their LO's in NH's due to circumstances beyond

their control and they are certainly not quitters or

giving up on there LO. That is probably much harder

than what I have done. I know I will continue to see

her everyday and care for her there. It is just hard

to change.

Thank you again , your words have meant a lot

to me.

Dena

Mother (83) DX April 2005 (Had 3 years prior of

symptoms) Using Clonzapam for anxiety and Risperdal

for hallucinations and Lopressor for heart

--- octoryrose wrote:

> You are NOT a quitter! You are doing the best thing

> for your mom

> right now. Once you find that perfect NH you will be

> pleasantly

> surprised by how good you'll feel. I see my mom in

> her NH and realize

> how lucky we are that we found this perfect home for

> her. I love the

> nurses and aides who take care of these people. They

> respect all of

> the dementia patients. They smile with them, they

> laugh with them.

> And they share the responsibilities to care for

> them.

>

> I can't imagine caring for my mom the way you cared

> for yours for 10

> MONTHS! It takes two people to move my mother safely

> in and out of

> the bed, to the bathroom. YOU are one person - for

> your mother to be

> SAFE she needs more care - and I mean more care by

> more people, not

> more care by one individual. You did the BEST JOB

> and you're mother

> KNOWS how much you've done for her. Do NOT feel bad

> - you did an

> AMAZING job for 10 MONTHS!

>

> Your next task is to find that perfect place for

> your mom. It's funny

> we searched for the best assisted living facility

> and this nursing

> home wasn't one we visited prior to mom moving in

> b/c she went

> directly from the hospital. At first glance I know I

> wouldn't have

> chosen it. The outside of the building is UGLY. The

> dementia floor is

> OLD - 70s like style (there is a new floor for the

> dementia patients

> that is being renovated and will open in May) - but

> I'll take the

> UGLY and the OLD b/c what my mother does have at

> this place are the

> PERFECT NURSES. The head nurse has been on the

> dementia floor for 35

> years! I even see a difference between the nurses

> from the Dementia

> floor and the Hospital-like floor in the same

> facility - the Dementia

> floor seems to have the most caring and the most

> compassionate people

> available. I'm so thankful for that!! So my

> suggestion is don't take

> the first impressions to heart - instead of focusing

> on the setting

> focus on the people (the nurses and the patients)...

> Good luck -

> knowing you, you'll find the BEST of the BEST for

> your mom!

>

> ; loving daughter of Maureen of Boston, MA;

> finally diagnosed

> with LBD on 2/06 after also being diagnosed with

> everything from AD

> to Vascular Dementia caused by mini strokes to

> Binswengers...; was

> victim to rapid progression from Risperidone (or

> combination of

> Risperidone with other drugs OR possibly received

> another " bad drug "

> when she was observed/tested in a hospital in

> 10/05); in a NH since

> 11/05.

>

> >

> > Hi Everyone

> >

> > I have decided that it is time to find a nursing

> home

> > for my Mom. I called several today and found that

> they

> > would not expect her since she had Kaiser Ins. and

> was

> > on Kaiser Hospice. It was rather frustrating. So I

> > called the Hospice SW and he gave me several that

> > Kaiser does contract with. Tomorrow I start the

> > search. Please be praying that I find the right

> one

> > the first time and do not have to change her over

> and

> > over.

> >

> > My mom is now bedridden. I have been so frustrated

> > because I cannot get the DAMN!! diaper on her

> right.

> > She is dead weight and does not roll well and it

> is

> > soooo hard with just one person. I ripped three

> > diapers trying and went back to the pull up type

> of

> > diaper and believe it or not that worked better.

> Also

> > she gets scrunched down in the bed and as one

> person

> > again I cannot move her up without being at the

> head

> > of the bed which is really almost impossible. So I

> get

> > her up to standing and try to get a side step

> going

> > and move her up which is way too hard on her. I

> cried

> > all day yesterday with frustration. I just give

> up.

> > Maybe I am not a strong enough person, maybe I

> just

> > don't want to do this anymore. I don't know, but I

> do

> > know that I am having anxiety attacks in the

> middle of

> > the night, I can't eat and I feel sick in general.

> I

> > guess that means it is time. I have done the

> absolute

> > best I can for 10 months. I have changed my life

> for

> > my mom, by quitting my job and being her full time

> > caregiver. I would do it all again in a heart

> beat. I

> > am not a quitter and this REALLY hurts me to give

> up.

> > At least I feel like I am giving up. Sorry Mom!!

> Being

> > bedridden is really harder than you think it will

> be.

> > So Kaiser will give me 5 days respite and then

> > transfer her to a facility or back home. I will

> let

> > them know next week. I just ask that you all pray

> for

> > me and that I make the right choice. Thanks.

> >

> > Dena

> >

> > __________________________________________________

> >