request for advice

February 27, 2006

Hi everyone,

I was fortunate enough to meet some of you at the Washington symposium

last week. As some of you know, my father has LBD and my mother is his

caregiver (while working fulltime). They are in Louisiana, I'm in DC.

Dad is declining to the point where he isn't going to be alright to be

left alone while Mom works. Mom is stubborn, but I'm getting her to

explore the options of bringing some help in. I'm afraid soon Dad will

be unable to remain at home, but Mom hasn't had much luck finding good

advice on how to arrange finances for nursing home care. I talked to my

Pastor here who is a trained social worker and has been involved in

taking care of many elderly parishioners, and he said there are

organizations/business that will come to your home and for a fee

evaluate financial options for people in similar situations. Does

anyone know a reliable service in Louisiana? I am willing to pay for it

to help get the ball rolling. Any help appreciated.

Thanks,

Orr

February 27, 2006

,

If you work or your married and your husband works, you might check

out your work benefits. Through our Employee assistance program, we

can get help with eldercare and finances. They will evaluate the home,

research nursing homes and assisted living facilities. They will do it

anywhere in the country. A lot of people where I work don't even

realize that it's available. It's worth finding out what's available

through your or your husband's work.

in Dallas

>

> Hi everyone,

> I was fortunate enough to meet some of you at the Washington symposium

> last week. As some of you know, my father has LBD and my mother is his

> caregiver (while working fulltime). They are in Louisiana, I'm in DC.

> Dad is declining to the point where he isn't going to be alright to be

> left alone while Mom works. Mom is stubborn, but I'm getting her to

> explore the options of bringing some help in. I'm afraid soon Dad will

> be unable to remain at home, but Mom hasn't had much luck finding good

> advice on how to arrange finances for nursing home care. I talked to my

> Pastor here who is a trained social worker and has been involved in

> taking care of many elderly parishioners, and he said there are

> organizations/business that will come to your home and for a fee

> evaluate financial options for people in similar situations. Does

> anyone know a reliable service in Louisiana? I am willing to pay for it

> to help get the ball rolling. Any help appreciated.

> Thanks,

> Orr

>

February 27, 2006

Hi, ,

In which part of Louisiana are your parents? I live in Shreveport and am

caregiver for my father. I am sorry you are having to deal with this. I don't

have much advice on financial arrangements for nursing homes, but just

wanted you to know I am here. I have my hands full with my father right now as

he

is in his final days, but I may be able to be of some help to your parents a

little later.

Hugs,

Piper

February 27, 2006

-

I am just curious as to how old your Mother is. My Mother just turned 87 and

plans to take all her money with her to the grave. My Dad passed away 9/11/05

after a 4 yr. battle with LBD. . During the 4 yrs. I had to beg and plead

with Mom to hire help. She was very frugal in hiring help. She would say that

she could do Although my Mom was reluctant to pay for help, she didn't like

to ask for help from me either. I am an RN who at the time worked full time on

the graveyard shift. It was diffiuclt for me, but I was there quite a few hrs.

a day, looking out for both my parents. I don't regret a minute, but it was

very difficult and stressful to say the least. What I learned from my Mother's

behavior is that she comes from the depression generation and hence the reason

for such extreme thriftness. This is very typical, I understand. Another

example, today I took my Mom to Walmart. She purchased a bed pillow. On the

way home, she decided to recycle the old (ancient) pillow by recovering it. I

said " MOM, JUST THROW IT AWAY. " She had no use for a covered pillow and no time

to cover it. I asked her what would she do with it. She said put it in the

attic. Then she realized she really didn't need it and agreed to throw it away.

This goes on all the time, but I have come to understand this post depression

behavior. Gotta love her!

I think, even if you pay the fees for the finanicial evaluation, you may have

a hard time getting your Mother to put out money for help. Remind her it is a

lot cheaper paying for help at home, than having your Dad in a Nursing home.

One more point, often the caregiver ends up sicker than the one they are caring

for. My Mom has had a real declilne in memory lately and before she was as

sharp as could be. I attribute this to all the hard work and stress she had

with Dad.

I hope you can find a workable solution. I know it is hard.

XXXOOO

Gerry

Wilmington, De.