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Shaunna,

Welcome, You might want to consider a good work up with a psychiatrist who

has

experience with OCD, sometimes our teens are struggling with even more

ocd thoughts than we realize, there is counseling available to teach kids

how to battle ocd. Good luck

Lori

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Hi, I'm new to the List. My Son as not been officially diagnosed with OCD,

but I'm sure he has it. He's not on meds or anything, I don't think its bad

enough to go that route yet. I guess I'm just worried it will get worse as I

know there are different degrees of it. I'm also fairly sure his Grandmother

has it, so if it can be in the genes, he may have picked it up from her.

My Son is almost 14 now. When he was around 8 was when I think it was at its

worst, he was constantly worried about lying, as if we had beat him for it

at some point. He was always questioning me about things he had said and

whether it was a lie or not, many of which didn't even make sense as they

had nothing to do with lying. Plus if you asked him a simple question he

would never commit to a yes or no answer, it was always I think so, and

maybe. It would drive me batty and I'm sorry to say I was not always very

patient after hearing the same question all day. He has mostly gotten over

that particular obsession, although it will upset him to ever be accused of

lying.

I would say now the most apparent thing to me of the OCD is his fear of

illnesses/diseases. I need to be careful about talking about any

illnesses/diseases in front of him because next thing I know he'll be asking

me about it, and saying he has some pain or other and thinks he might have

it. He's not as obsessive about it as he was about the lying thing though.

I would really like to know how I should be dealing with this and how I

should be reacting so as not to upset him any further in the future. Can

OCD's be reassured about whatever fear they have or keep asking about? Is

there any literature to read on how to live with someone who has OCD so I

can be sure I'm not making him worse by not reacting correctly? Any help and

imput would be greatly appreciated. TIA!

Shaunna

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Thanks for the info Kathy, I have ordered those books...

Shaunna

Re: Hello!

Hi Shaunna, there are two main proved treatments for OCD, the meds (SSRIs)

you mention, and a certain type of behavior therapy called Cognitive

Behavior Therapy with Exposure and Response Prevention. The first

suggested

treatment for OCD in kids is the therapy, though many kids benefit with a

combo of both therapy and an SSRI.

OCD does wax and wane, and untreated OCD does tend to worsen over time.

Actually, avoiding upsetting things (things that trigger the obsessions)

makes OCD worse. The core of CBT/ERP is approaching those things that are

upsetting and anxiety-provoking in a slow, stair-step fashion until the

anxiety around the thing reduces.

No, people with OCD can not be reassured out of an obsessional worry. OCD

worries are irrational, and an obsession sparks the need to do a

compulsion

to relieve anxiety, but doing the compulsion (asking for reassurance) then

causes the obsession to surface again, round and round. The more you

provide reassurance about illness, for example, the more your son will

experience the obsessional worry and then be compelled to ask for

reassurance again. This is tough on the kids and on parents too, needless

to say, since the relentless circular questioning can try the patience of

a

saint.

Given your son's age, you may want to tell him there is treatment for

these

" worries " and see what he says or wants to do. He may want to pursue

therapy for example. Often there is a lot of OCD that we as parents don't

see, we only notice the tip of the iceberg so to speak, you may be

surprised

to discover that your son very much wants to be relieved of his symptoms.

Many kids are ashamed of their OCD symptoms and assume they are " going

crazy " (or their obsessions have embarrassing content) and so are

secretive

about a lot of their symptoms.

I would suggest " Freeing your child from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder " by

Tamar Chansky and " Worried No More " by Aureen Pinto Wagner. Both of these

doctors are also advisers to this list, you can post a question directly

to

either of them, just put the doctor's name in the subject line and your

question will be forwarded.

Another book that you and/or your son may want to read is " Brain Lock " by

Dr. Schwartz. This has PET scan images that show the OCD brain

and

then the brain after successful treatment (therapy.)

Take care,

Kathy R. in Indiana

----- Original Message -----

> Hi, I'm new to the List. My Son as not been officially diagnosed with

OCD,

> but I'm sure he has it. He's not on meds or anything, I don't think its

bad

> enough to go that route yet. I guess I'm just worried it will get worse

as

I

> know there are different degrees of it. I'm also fairly sure his

Grandmother

> has it, so if it can be in the genes, he may have picked it up from her.

>

> My Son is almost 14 now. When he was around 8 was when I think it was at

its

> worst, he was constantly worried about lying, as if we had beat him for

it

> at some point. He was always questioning me about things he had said and

> whether it was a lie or not, many of which didn't even make sense as

they

> had nothing to do with lying. Plus if you asked him a simple question he

> would never commit to a yes or no answer, it was always I think so, and

> maybe. It would drive me batty and I'm sorry to say I was not always

very

> patient after hearing the same question all day. He has mostly gotten

over

> that particular obsession, although it will upset him to ever be accused

of

> lying.

>

> I would say now the most apparent thing to me of the OCD is his fear of

> illnesses/diseases. I need to be careful about talking about any

> illnesses/diseases in front of him because next thing I know he'll be

asking

> me about it, and saying he has some pain or other and thinks he might

have

> it. He's not as obsessive about it as he was about the lying thing

though.

>

> I would really like to know how I should be dealing with this and how I

> should be reacting so as not to upset him any further in the future. Can

> OCD's be reassured about whatever fear they have or keep asking about?

Is

> there any literature to read on how to live with someone who has OCD so

I

> can be sure I'm not making him worse by not reacting correctly? Any help

and

> imput would be greatly appreciated. TIA!

Our list archives, bookmarks, files, and chat feature may be accessed at:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group// .

Our list advisors are Gail B. , Ed.D., Tamar Chansky, Ph.D., Aureen

Pinto Wagner, Ph.D., and Dan Geller, M.D. Our list moderators are

Birkhan, Castle, Fowler, Kathy Hammes, Joye, Kathy

Mac, Gail Pesses, Kathy , Vivian Stembridge, and Jackie Stout.

Subscription issues or suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins, list

owner, at louisharkins@... , louisharkins@... ,

louisharkins@... .

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Thanks for the info I will look into those sites you listed. I really

don't think my son's OCD is really bad at this point as he is the type to

tell me everything, doesn't really keep anything to himself and I could tell

if he was as he's an open book type child, but I am worried about it

changing and getting worse in the future, not that I'm wanting to borrow

trouble by any means, but just be prepared and know what our options are and

how I need to react....

Shaunna

Re: Hello!

Hi Shaunna, welcome!

I have a son who'll be 15 this month with OCD (also has diagnoses of

dysgraphia and HFA/Aspergers).

When he was younger, he never lied either when I think about it. In

fact, he was the one (of 3 sons) I'd ask about any little incident as

I knew I'd get the truth. That's not so true these past years, more

of a " his side " of story now with a little/lot left out. Normal kid

in that department I guess now!

Also he went through the worrying about catching diseases

thing. " Will this give me cancer? " or if he felt a pain, " do you

think it's cancer? " Plus pains or aches or skin blemishes that he

wanted to know what they were and if they were OK....

All that was even before 6th grade and his " seemingly " abrupt onset

of OCD where it got really bad.

So he had always had those tendencies but just not anything to the

degree that it was a big disruption to daily life. Until 6th grade.

Reassurance is one thing that can make OCD worse, sort of keep them

coming back for answers. Of course, huge meltdowns can occur when we

(parents) don't give in to answering OCD's questions.

Have you yet mentioned the possibility of OCD to him? When he has

some knowledge of OCD being the " reason " he worries, you can tell

him " that's an OCD question " or " I'm not answering OCD " ; or answer

his question once and use the other replies if asked again.

Other parents have dealt with this more than I and can give you some

great suggestions. Humor can be good also (I think Kathy R. and

others have good ideas on that.) I didn't realize it back when

was young that all those worries/questions might be OCD so

wasn't handling it that way really. After 6th grade when I began

reading about OCD was when I realized it. He'll still at times go

thru phases asking about a pain or a skin blemish or mole and I just

brush him off, tell him it's fine. Sometimes he'll ask for something

to take/go on it and I refuse if I think it's OCD related. ( " no,

you're fine, you don't need it... " and then I leave the area)

Here are a couple sites. The OCD Foundation has a section on books

too.

http://ocfoundation.org

http://www.homestead.com/westsuffolkpsych/Articles.html

Keep us updated on how things are going for all of you!

single mom, 3 sons

, almost 15, OCD....

, nonidentical twin

Randall, 18

>

> My Son is almost 14 now. When he was around 8 was when I think it

was at its

> worst, he was constantly worried about lying, as if we had beat him

for it

> at some point. He was always questioning me about things he had

said and

> whether it was a lie or not, many of which didn't even make sense

as they

>

Our list archives, bookmarks, files, and chat feature may be accessed at:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group// .

Our list advisors are Gail B. , Ed.D., Tamar Chansky, Ph.D., Aureen

Pinto Wagner, Ph.D., and Dan Geller, M.D. Our list moderators are

Birkhan, Castle, Fowler, Kathy Hammes, Joye, Kathy

Mac, Gail Pesses, Kathy , Vivian Stembridge, and Jackie Stout.

Subscription issues or suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins, list

owner, at louisharkins@... , louisharkins@... ,

louisharkins@... .

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