Re: teaching flexiblity

[Guest guest]

Carnosine helped my son with this, as well as multi-tasking. He's

on 500 mg 2xday. We stopped for awhile, but he slowly slipped back

into inflexibility. He also returned to difficulties with getting

the right items into his backpack, finding his homework, gathering

everything he needed together (like paper & pens, or equipment for

gym). He, too, shuts down. But he's back on carnosine and doing

fine.

> Does anyone have any suggestions - books, course, advice - on

teaching an aspie kid how to be mentally flexible? just

shuts down sometimes when an idea isn't his own or when something

isn't what he expected. I don't know if he's even capable of going

with the flow or if that's just something his brain will never be

able to manage.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

,

Apart from what suggested and other biomedical treatments, I suggest you

read either one of Dr. Gutstein's books that describe his RDI

(Relationship Development Intervention) approach. His earlier work focused a

lot on " aspie's " and was quite effective. He now works with ASD kids throughout

the spectrum. He does RDI trainings for parents in different parts of the

country, has a long self-training video and has a school in Texas. But just

reading his books may give you tangible support as well as a lot of hope for the

future.

Gutstein's thesis and experience is that and others CAN learn to go with

the flow--even if it takes a lot of hard, creative and patient work. What a

paradox: working hard to learn how to be flexible! Sounds like the curriculum

in which every ASD parent is enrolled...

Jack

& Mcneese wrote:

Does anyone have any suggestions - books, course, advice - on teaching an aspie

kid how to be mentally flexible? just shuts down sometimes when an idea

isn't his own or when something isn't what he expected. I don't know if he's

even capable of going with the flow or if that's just something his brain will

never be able to manage.

[Guest guest]

>

> Gutstein's thesis and experience is that and others CAN

learn to go with the flow--even if it takes a lot of hard, creative

and patient work.

Thanks, Jack, for this info! I might see if I can get my hands on

one of his books too!

My son has made lots of progress in the area of social skills since

he was three or four (he's seven now)...but I still notice a few

little things.

He interacts well with other children, and almost seems to CRAVE

playing with them...perferring to do that more than eat, for

example! He's in a homeschool group that meets once a week for two

and a half hours for some science and geography activities plus

thirty minutes of recess, and he LOVES going there! He's popular

with the other boys, and they all have a great time together!

Likewise, he interacts well with the children in our neighborhood,

and is well liked by them too. He spends most of every afternoon

playing with them!

....but his social skills with adults needs some work still.

Twice a week we sit in the hallway of the school he used to attend

(before he was homeschooled), waiting for his speech teacher to come

get him for his speech therapy. If I should see his former

kindergarten teacher coming down the hall, I have to say, " ,

here comes Ms. XXXX. If she looks in your direction, smile and

wave. " Otherwise he'll just sit there, even if she waves at him.

Yesterday we were out taking our small dog for a walk, and someone

we don't know was standing near the street. Our dog was on a long

leash and walked over to the guy. The guy leaned over and petted

him, and looking at my son, remarked, " Cute dog! " (My son was the

one holding the leash, and I was following behind, trying to keep

up! LOL) My son just stood there. When I caught up to my son a

moment later, I whispered to him, " Say thanks! " So THEN he did.

We often have similar scenerios in the grocery store, when some

adult my son doesn't know will speak to him (the cashier, for

example), and he won't respond. I once asked him why he doesn't

respond back, and he said, " I don't like talking to people I don't

know. "

Hmm...so how do I teach him when it's okay to talk to strangers, and

when it's not???

" If mommy's standing right there beside you, and someone speaks to

you, you can say Hi, or thanks, or respond to whatever their

question was? " But mommy won't be right there standing beside him

his whole life.....

Because my son is closer to the ADD side of the spectrum (except for

the gut issues, hypotonia, etc.), he's never had any ABA therapy, or

anything along those lines. I've never seen it done, and don't

really know anything about it.

Other than the author above that Jack recommended, anyone have any

other recommendations?

This is changing the subject a little I guess, but I'd like to share

it. Last weekend we attended a spiritual skills seminar out of

state. On Saturday night, the children in the children's room did a

skit on the main stage for all the grown-ups. My son did GREAT..and

really hammed it up immediately after the skit (before leaving the

stage), going back up to the mic a couple of times to say things

like, " Bye! " He also stood in front of the projector and made

shadows on the screen, and in general acted like a pretty goofy, yet

normal, seven year old boy! :-) Many of the other kids were doing

similar things.

Yet, on Sunday, the teachers in the children's room had all the

children come back out on the stage to show the things that they had

made during the seminar. I think that no one had bothered to tell

my son what their purpose was for going back out on the stage (It

was a surprise to me too. They hadn't told us parents that they

would be bringing the children back on the stage again.) So my son

came out along with the rest of the kids, with WAY too much in his

hands and having great difficulty in carrying it all..and simply

stood there frowning. The other children were smiling and picking

up one item at a time (being clued by the teacher) and holding it up

to show..and my son just stood there, looking quite mad and trying

not to drop anything! Where was the little boy who'd been such a

ham the night before? I wanted to run up there on the stage and

say, " Put all your things on the floor, and then you can pick them

up one at a time to show. " But the whole thing was over so quickly,

I didn't really have any time to act, other than to look at him and

smile as big as I could and hope he'd follow suit (which he

didn't). See, this is the type of thing though...how do you teach

this stuff in advance? I can't think of every problem my son might

ever have at some point in the future, and teach him how to handle

it!

In general he's a very creative little boy. Very much a right

brained thinker. After the seminar was over, we headed over to the

beach. Everyone in the family had their flip flops along, except

we'd forgotten to pack my sons. No problem. HE reached for his

rubber rain boots and put them on instead! My husband and daughter

thought this was hilarious..but it was absolutely PERFECT for my

son, and he'd thought of it himself! He was the only member of the

family who could dip his feet in the ocean water, since the water

was SO cold!

Sorry to be rambling so much today. Just needed to talk some, I

guess.

Janiece

[Guest guest]

Thank you for all the great suggestions. I have read the " The Explosive

Child " and found it useful. I have to say the end of the book, where he

talks about the various drugs, really upset me.

The histamine connection makes all the sense in the world. With , I

believe the length of his 'fuse' is more biological than something that can

be learned. Some days all stars line up and the yeast take a break and he's

perfectly rational and logical. Other days, he could be standing in a spot

where someone just sprayed bleach on the table in the restuarant and nothing

will make him happy. I will look into the various options while we continue

to clean him up.

Janiece - Once again, I think our boys have a LOT in common.

Thanks so much, everyone.