Rituals and the time they take!

April 6, 2004

The hardest part of OCD for me right now is how much to give in to the rituals.

For example, right now, it's 11:00, I want to go to bed. Our son, who is 14yo

OCD wants to go to bed at the same time I do for the assurance (kind of like my

tucking him in) but he has to brush his teeth. The whole time I've been writing

this he has not even picked up his tooth brush and unless I'm there spurring him

on and supporting him in the effort to brush his teeth, he will stand there for

an eternity before he gets the task done. If I just say good night and go to

bed, he gets more agitated and anxious so I try to help him along. Sometimes,

and this happens all through the day, I don't have enough patience or energy to

cope with this. What am I to do? Have you all been through this, too? What do

you do? Thanks.

April 7, 2004

,

I'm just learning about ERP, which is exposure reduction prevention, and this

apparently is the most effective therapy besides medication that there is. My

son has responded well. You basically allow/encourage the obsessions, but

instruct the child not to carry out the compulsions. From my understanding (and

now experience), the anxiety escalates at first, but eventually it is lesser,

and eventually the thoughts go away because the child is not acting on the

thought. Basically it's a way of desensitizing the child to the fear.

With my son, his obsession was that he was very bad, evil, gay, and his

compulsion was to confess things to me. We started realizing he had to let the

thoughts come, even encourage them, but not allow him to confess to me. He's

better now-in remission, I suppose. He thinks it helped, but he did have what

everyone calls a " meltdown " at first, so it was tough, but he got through that.

A song by Hillary Duff, which is a big hit on the radio now had the words " come

clean " in it, and it would trigger the anxiety something fierce. He would tell

me to change the channel anytime it came on. Then when we begun the ERP-he had

enough faith and trust in me and my direction that he started saying, " Mom,

leave that on. I need to listen to it. " It doesn't bother him now. Anyway, it

does work.....but it's tough at first.

in So IL

Rituals and the time they take!

The hardest part of OCD for me right now is how much to give in to the

rituals. For example, right now, it's 11:00, I want to go to bed. Our son, who

is 14yo OCD wants to go to bed at the same time I do for the assurance (kind of

like my tucking him in) but he has to brush his teeth. The whole time I've been

writing this he has not even picked up his tooth brush and unless I'm there

spurring him on and supporting him in the effort to brush his teeth, he will

stand there for an eternity before he gets the task done. If I just say good

night and go to bed, he gets more agitated and anxious so I try to help him

along. Sometimes, and this happens all through the day, I don't have enough

patience or energy to cope with this. What am I to do? Have you all been

through this, too? What do you do? Thanks.

April 8, 2004

,

My daughter (and I) struggle with her rituals often, and sometimes

they can really bring out the emotion in me...when I've had enough.

If your son will do ERP, that would be great, but my dd resists

doing that.

I have noticed, however, that if I set out guidelines when she is

NOT in the middle of a ritual, this often helps. You could say:

You must brush your teeth by 11pm or I am going to bed anyway. Or

When I am ready to go to bed each night, I will give you ten minutes

to get your teeth brushed, then I am going to bed. Something like

that might give him something to work towards. Of course, there

will be times when he doesn't get it done and you would have to be

able to live with going on to bed. But that can sometimes be good

for them too, to see they can survive not having you there. I

usually try to avoid doing those things right before school or

another important event, though, incase she does have a bit of a fit.

For my daughter, who fears germs, it works pretty well to make lists

of things she has to clean (because she has been avoiding it) and to

list my expectations for the amount of time she should spend doing

particular rituals (shower no longer than 30 minutes, etc.). Again,

we go over the list when she is NOT having an obsession or doing a

ritual, and I give incentives.

This is somewhat like what would happen with ERP, but not as

structured, and I usually only list the things that are really

bothering ME and taking time away from all of us.

Good luck!!

Kellie - Missouri

daughter - 14/OCD

> The hardest part of OCD for me right now is how much to give in to

the rituals. For example, right now, it's 11:00, I want to go to

bed. Our son, who is 14yo OCD wants to go to bed at the same time I

do for the assurance (kind of like my tucking him in) but he has to

brush his teeth. The whole time I've been writing this he has not

even picked up his tooth brush and unless I'm there spurring him on

and supporting him in the effort to brush his teeth, he will stand

there for an eternity before he gets the task done. If I just say

good night and go to bed, he gets more agitated and anxious so I try

to help him along. Sometimes, and this happens all through the day,

I don't have enough patience or energy to cope with this. What am I

to do? Have you all been through this, too? What do you do?

Thanks.

>

April 10, 2004

,

I sent you a list of docs/therapists in the St. Louis area via your e-mail

rather than post, because I'm not sure how attachments work on this list. How

far are you to Carbondale? Dr. Lancous is the doctor my son will be seeing in

May, and he has a wonderful reputation for being good with childhood OCD. I had

to beg my insurance company, but they approved it. Good luck!

in SO IL

Rituals and the time they take!

>

> The hardest part of OCD for me right now is how much to give in

to the rituals. For example, right now, it's 11:00, I want to go to