hurting

[Guest guest]

I'm so sorry that you are hurting. will always exist in your heart; a life is too precious to be forgotten. May the God of all comfort, comfort you. love, prayers, and blessings, Pat K

I know this is off topic but today I am really hurting. Today is s birthday. She would be 6 and not one person other then my husband remembers. It feels like she didn't even exist outside of my heart and not even her grandma remembers her. I know life goes on but does that mean we forget those we love. I just don't know what to do with this even though it is the same every year it still hurts every year that no one remembers. I tried to join an online group for people that had lost children but it was to much... to many stories, to much pain to read about everyday and it was really bad for me because it made me think of how she died constantly. I had to quit the group but today I just needed to say this to someone. Kellie AOL Search: Your one stop for directions, recipes and all other Holiday needs. Search Now.

[Guest guest]

I know this is off topic but today I am really hurting. Today is

s birthday. She would be 6 and not one person other then my

husband remembers. It feels like she didn't even exist outside of my

heart and not even her grandma remembers her. I know life goes on but

does that mean we forget those we love. I just don't know what to do

with this even though it is the same every year it still hurts every

year that no one remembers. I tried to join an online group for people

that had lost children but it was to much... to many stories, to much

pain to read about everyday and it was really bad for me because it

made me think of how she died constantly. I had to quit the group but

today I just needed to say this to someone. Kellie

[Guest guest]

I am sorry that you had to go through that. God doesn't make mistakes and heaven is better than this earth any day. Pray! Cry! Scream! Yell! God can hear you and he understands your pain. Hugs and kisses! Time will heal the wound.

Oreyell

Subject: hurtingTo: AutismBehaviorProblems Date: Friday, November 7, 2008, 3:42 PM

I know this is off topic but today I am really hurting. Today is s birthday. She would be 6 and not one person other then my husband remembers. It feels like she didn't even exist outside of my heart and not even her grandma remembers her. I know life goes on but does that mean we forget those we love. I just don't know what to do with this even though it is the same every year it still hurts every year that no one remembers. I tried to join an online group for people that had lost children but it was to much... to many stories, to much pain to read about everyday and it was really bad for me because it made me think of how she died constantly. I had to quit the group but today I just needed to say this to someone. Kellie

[Guest guest]

((((((((Sweet Kellie)))))))))

sending you a private email....

e

To: AutismBehaviorProblems Sent: Friday, November 7, 2008 9:42:03 AMSubject: hurting

I know this is off topic but today I am really hurting. Today is s birthday. She would be 6 and not one person other then my husband remembers. It feels like she didn't even exist outside of my heart and not even her grandma remembers her. I know life goes on but does that mean we forget those we love. I just don't know what to do with this even though it is the same every year it still hurts every year that no one remembers. I tried to join an online group for people that had lost children but it was to much... to many stories, to much pain to read about everyday and it was really bad for me because it made me think of how she died constantly. I had to quit the group but today I just needed to say this to someone. Kellie

[Guest guest]

Hi Kellie, today I say a special prayer for you, for and your

family.

Tears,hugs from the heart,

Tishanne

- In AutismBehaviorProblems ,

" kellie " wrote:

>

> I know this is off topic but today I am really hurting. Today is

> s birthday. She would be 6 and not one person other then my

> husband remembers. It feels like she didn't even exist outside of

my

> heart and not even her grandma remembers her. I know life goes on

but

> does that mean we forget those we love. I just don't know what to

do

> with this even though it is the same every year it still hurts

every

> year that no one remembers. I tried to join an online group for

people

> that had lost children but it was to much... to many stories, to

much

> pain to read about everyday and it was really bad for me because it

> made me think of how she died constantly. I had to quit the group

but

> today I just needed to say this to someone. Kellie

>

[Guest guest]

Oh Kellie! I am so sorry! I will never forget your precious little angels birthday! I will always remember it! My heart goes out to you and I am saying prayers as I type this! I am here for you always!StacieSent via BlackBerry by AT&TDate: Fri, 07 Nov 2008 15:42:03 -0000To: <AutismBehaviorProblems >Subject: hurting I know this is off topic but today I am really hurting. Today is s birthday. She would be 6 and not one person other then my husband remembers. It feels like she didn't even exist outside of my heart and not even her grandma remembers her. I know life goes on but does that mean we forget those we love. I just don't know what to do with this even though it is the same every year it still hurts every year that no one remembers. I tried to join an online group for people that had lost children but it was to much... to many stories, to much pain to read about everyday and it was really bad for me because it made me think of how she died constantly. I had to quit the group but today I just needed to say this to someone. Kellie

[Guest guest]

Kellie,

((HUGS))! I cannot beleive the grandmother didn't remenber!!!!! Hang in there, How old was she when she died? Lois

hurting

[Guest guest]

Hi Lois,

I had 13 wonderful months with my . She was a very sweet, smart easy going girl who loved songs and to snuggle. I don't know why people don't mention her birthday or her name. I guess they just don't want to go there and it is easier for them to pretend she wasn't here. It will be 5 years in December and I have stopped fighting them on it. Last year when I mentioned to a friend that her birthday was coming and I was really feeling sad about it she actually said "It still bothers you that much?" ! She has 4 kids of her own so I don't know what she was thinking. Thank you for the email and the chance to talk about her. Her smile would light up the room. Kellie

Subject: Re: hurtingTo: AutismBehaviorProblems Date: Saturday, November 8, 2008, 2:42 AM

Kellie,

((HUGS))! I cannot beleive the grandmother didn't remenber!!!! ! Hang in there, How old was she when she died? Lois

hurting

[Guest guest]

Subject: hurtingTo: AutismBehaviorProblems Date: Friday, November 7, 2008, 3:42 PM

Thank you everyone for your kind words and hugs. This was a very rough day and it really helped to know you cared. Kellie

[Guest guest]

Kellie,

What happened to her? That is unreal that your friend said that! I tell you, People can be so goofy in what they say. Can you talk to your DH about her? She must have been a great little girl. ((HUGS)) Lois

Re: hurting

[Guest guest]

Lois,

She died of bacterial meningitis and the next day went into the hospital with that horrible flu that was going around. They only admitted him because of what happened to and he was on an I.V. and ice packs that night and still had 105 temp. He was only 3 1/2 and had very little language at the time. When he was sick he didn't make a sound-he didn't cry or call out he just laid there. Since it didn't get bad until about 11 pm if he was at home we would have lost him as well. They tested and all of us for that flu but was the only one to test positive. We tried to explain to that went to heaven but he didn't really seem to notice she was gone. We had Paige 2 years later and when she was about 10 months old I took all the baby stuff and put it away (swing,playpen etc.,) while was in school. That day he came home and just started crying and pacing all around

the house. He couldn't stop and then I went to check on Paige who was napping and he came in her room look at her and said baby and then he was okay. He was afraid she was gone like and it made me understand so much more about him. He couldn't tell us what he was thinking but the whole time he was missing her just like us. Not long ago when we got a new computer and I hadn't loaded all the pictures into the slide show he came to me with a pen and paper and said - I wrote her name on it and he went on google and did a search with her name. He was looking for her pictures! I loaded them in and he just kept looking at them and saying her name. We always have cupcakes for dessert on her birthday and we let balloons go at the cemetery. Today it rained all day so we didn't go together (i went alone) we will all go on Saturday. Sorry this is so long. Thanks for asking

again it is nice use her name especially today. Kellie

Subject: Re: hurtingTo: AutismBehaviorProblems Date: Saturday, November 8, 2008, 3:11 AM

Kellie,

What happened to her? That is unreal that your friend said that! I tell you, People can be so goofy in what they say. Can you talk to your DH about her? She must have been a great little girl. ((HUGS)) Lois

Re: hurting

[Guest guest]

I also lost a baby (during pregnancy due to trisomy 18). This was

very hard for me and I can only imagine how you feel. At least you

have the good memories in you heart and those will never go away. My

baby was due to be born this November the 19. I lost him at 20 weeks

six day on July 1 this year. You are in my heart and prayers.

>

> ((((((((Sweet Kellie)))))))))

>

> sending you a private email....

>

> e

>

>

>

>

> ________________________________

>

> To: AutismBehaviorProblems

> Sent: Friday, November 7, 2008 9:42:03 AM

> Subject: hurting

>

>

> I know this is off topic but today I am really hurting. Today is

> s birthday. She would be 6 and not one person other then my

> husband remembers. It feels like she didn't even exist outside of my

> heart and not even her grandma remembers her. I know life goes on but

> does that mean we forget those we love. I just don't know what to do

> with this even though it is the same every year it still hurts every

> year that no one remembers.. I tried to join an online group for people

> that had lost children but it was to much... to many stories, to much

> pain to read about everyday and it was really bad for me because it

> made me think of how she died constantly. I had to quit the group but

> today I just needed to say this to someone. Kellie

>

[Guest guest]

e,you are in my prayers. My sister lost her baby during her

eighth month. My best friend lost her son when he was 9 months old.

Prayers to all the precious little ones and their families.

My heart felt prayers,hugs

Tishanne

> >

> > ((((((((Sweet Kellie)))))))))

> >

> > sending you a private email....

> >

> > e

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > ________________________________

> > From: kellie <kelliefolkerts@>

> > To: AutismBehaviorProblems

> > Sent: Friday, November 7, 2008 9:42:03 AM

> > Subject: hurting

> >

> >

> > I know this is off topic but today I am really hurting. Today is

> > s birthday. She would be 6 and not one person other then my

> > husband remembers. It feels like she didn't even exist outside of

my

> > heart and not even her grandma remembers her. I know life goes on

but

> > does that mean we forget those we love. I just don't know what to

do

> > with this even though it is the same every year it still hurts

every

> > year that no one remembers.. I tried to join an online group for

people

> > that had lost children but it was to much... to many stories, to

much

> > pain to read about everyday and it was really bad for me because

it

> > made me think of how she died constantly. I had to quit the group

but

> > today I just needed to say this to someone. Kellie

> >

>

[Guest guest]

>

> I know this is off topic but today I am really hurting. Today is

> s birthday. She would be 6 and not one person other then my

> husband remembers. It feels like she didn't even exist outside of my

> heart and not even her grandma remembers her. I know life goes on but

> does that mean we forget those we love. I just don't know what to do

> with this even though it is the same every year it still hurts every

> year that no one remembers. I tried to join an online group for people

> that had lost children but it was to much... to many stories, to much

> pain to read about everyday and it was really bad for me because it

> made me think of how she died constantly. I had to quit the group but

> today I just needed to say this to someone. Kellie

>

Hello:

Stay strong and try to take it easy okay? You will be just fine and

God is with you.

[Guest guest]

,

Thank you, I just wanted to say that one thing I learned from the on line group is it doesn't matter when you lose your child be it during pregnancy, at birth, very young or when they are 50 the pain is the same. We Moms are in love from the moment we find out they are coming and our view of our life and family changes to include the child from that moment on. Their will always be someone missing. Please be good to yourself and allow yourself to grieve over your loss. Do not discount the pain you feel because other people may not understand it. I don't know your situation but I have heard many stories of children lost during pregnancy and the pain of people not understanding that the pain was the same. Take care. Kellie

Subject: Re: hurtingTo: AutismBehaviorProblems Date: Saturday, November 8, 2008, 4:10 AM

I also lost a baby (during pregnancy due to trisomy 18). This wasvery hard for me and I can only imagine how you feel. At least youhave the good memories in you heart and those will never go away. Mybaby was due to be born this November the 19. I lost him at 20 weekssix day on July 1 this year. You are in my heart and prayers.>> ((((((((Sweet Kellie)))))) )))> > sending you a private email....> > e> > > > > ____________ _________ _________ __> From: kellie <kelliefolkerts@ ...>> To: AutismBehaviorProbl emsyahoogroups (DOT) com> Sent: Friday, November 7, 2008

9:42:03 AM> Subject: hurting> > > I know this is off topic but today I am really hurting. Today is > s birthday. She would be 6 and not one person other then my > husband remembers. It feels like she didn't even exist outside of my > heart and not even her grandma remembers her. I know life goes on but > does that mean we forget those we love. I just don't know what to do > with this even though it is the same every year it still hurts every > year that no one remembers.. I tried to join an online group for people > that had lost children but it was to much... to many stories, to much > pain to read about everyday and it was really bad for me because it > made me think of how she died constantly. I had to quit the group but > today I just needed to say this to someone.

Kellie>

[Guest guest]

That was who wrote the letter below...not me. was a twin, so I did lose one...I remember how much it hurt...Just wanted to let you know it was ...

sorry about your loss.

e

To: AutismBehaviorProblems Sent: Friday, November 7, 2008 11:29:38 PMSubject: Re: hurting

e,you are in my prayers. My sister lost her baby during her eighth month. My best friend lost her son when he was 9 months old. Prayers to all the precious little ones and their families.My heart felt prayers,hugsTishanne> >> > ((((((((Sweet Kellie)))))) )))> > > > sending you a private email....> > > > e> > > > > > > > > > ____________ _________ _________ __> > From: kellie <kelliefolkerts@ >> > To: AutismBehaviorProbl emsyahoogroups (DOT) com> > Sent: Friday, November 7, 2008 9:42:03 AM> > Subject: hurting> > > > > > I know this is off topic but today I am really hurting. Today is > > s birthday. She would be 6 and not one person other

then my > > husband remembers. It feels like she didn't even exist outside of my > > heart and not even her grandma remembers her. I know life goes on but > > does that mean we forget those we love. I just don't know what to do > > with this even though it is the same every year it still hurts every > > year that no one remembers.. I tried to join an online group for people > > that had lost children but it was to much... to many stories, to much > > pain to read about everyday and it was really bad for me because it > > made me think of how she died constantly. I had to quit the group but > > today I just needed to say this to someone. Kellie> >>

[Guest guest]

Kellie,

Is that a flu she had? I know what youare talking about with the missing thing. J had a boxer for 13 years and I swear he had some autism too. We lost him in May and the first few days J said nothing then all of a sudden he said "Jinx"? It broke my heart. A month later we got another white boxer who was a little thing. At first J wouldn't have anything to do with it but now it is getting big and looking alot like Jinx and J is paying it some attention.

We willl get pictures out of Jinx and "Talk" about him. Was sick for a long time or did it jusy happen quikley? Lois

Re: hurting

[Guest guest]

Hi Lois,

No she tested negative for the flu. had the flu but no one else did. Paige had bacterial meningitis. It was very quick we put her to bed no runny nose or cold she even ate a big dinner. The next morning she was gone. They said it was a matter of minutes to a few hours from onset to death. She never even cried she went right into a coma in her sleep. Hope J is happier soon. Kellie

Subject: Re: hurtingTo: AutismBehaviorProblems Date: Sunday, November 9, 2008, 12:37 AM

Kellie,

Is that a flu she had? I know what youare talking about with the missing thing. J had a boxer for 13 years and I swear he had some autism too. We lost him in May and the first few days J said nothing then all of a sudden he said "Jinx"? It broke my heart. A month later we got another white boxer who was a little thing. At first J wouldn't have anything to do with it but now it is getting big and looking alot like Jinx and J is paying it some attention.

We willl get pictures out of Jinx and "Talk" about him. Was sick for a long time or did it jusy happen quikley? Lois

Re: hurting

[Guest guest]

Kellie,

Do they know what causes that? That had to have been a terrable shock. ((HUGS)) Lois

Re: hurting

[Guest guest]

Thanks

> > >

> > > ((((((((Sweet Kellie)))))))))

> > >

> > > sending you a private email....

> > >

> > > e

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > ________________________________

> > > From: kellie <kelliefolkerts@>

> > > To: AutismBehaviorProblems

> > > Sent: Friday, November 7, 2008 9:42:03 AM

> > > Subject: hurting

> > >

> > >

> > > I know this is off topic but today I am really hurting. Today is

> > > s birthday. She would be 6 and not one person other then my

> > > husband remembers. It feels like she didn't even exist outside of

> my

> > > heart and not even her grandma remembers her. I know life goes on

> but

> > > does that mean we forget those we love. I just don't know what to

> do

> > > with this even though it is the same every year it still hurts

> every

> > > year that no one remembers.. I tried to join an online group for

> people

> > > that had lost children but it was to much... to many stories, to

> much

> > > pain to read about everyday and it was really bad for me because

> it

> > > made me think of how she died constantly. I had to quit the group

> but

> > > today I just needed to say this to someone. Kellie

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Kellie,

You remain in my thoughts and prayers. I am a little confused now though. I thought was the one who passed away? I think of you all the time and pray for you and your family and your precious angels.

Stacie

Hi Lois,

No she tested negative for the flu. had the flu but no one else did. Paige had bacterial meningitis. It was very quick we put her to bed no runny nose or cold she even ate a big dinner. The next morning she was gone. They said it was a matter of minutes to a few hours from onset to death. She never even cried she went right into a coma in her sleep. Hope J is happier soon. Kellie

Subject: Re: hurtingTo: AutismBehaviorProblems Date: Sunday, November 9, 2008, 12:37 AM

Kellie,

Is that a flu she had? I know what youare talking about with the missing thing. J had a boxer for 13 years and I swear he had some autism too. We lost him in May and the first few days J said nothing then all of a sudden he said "Jinx"? It broke my heart. A month later we got another white boxer who was a little thing. At first J wouldn't have anything to do with it but now it is getting big and looking alot like Jinx and J is paying it some attention.

We willl get pictures out of Jinx and "Talk" about him. Was sick for a long time or did it jusy happen quikley? Lois

Re: hurting

AOL Search: Your one stop for directions, recipes and all other Holiday needs. Search Now.

[Guest guest]

I thought it was too...so sorry Kellie...I messed up on her name. Did you lose Paige, or ?

Oh, I feel bad that my card to you said, ...my bad!

e

To: AutismBehaviorProblems Sent: Sunday, November 9, 2008 9:46:27 PMSubject: Re: hurting

Kellie,

You remain in my thoughts and prayers. I am a little confused now though. I thought was the one who passed away? I think of you all the time and pray for you and your family and your precious angels.

Stacie

In a message dated 11/8/2008 4:56:05 P.M. Pacific Standard Time, kelliefolkerts@ yahoo.com writes:

Hi Lois,

No she tested negative for the flu. had the flu but no one else did. Paige had bacterial meningitis. It was very quick we put her to bed no runny nose or cold she even ate a big dinner. The next morning she was gone. They said it was a matter of minutes to a few hours from onset to death. She never even cried she went right into a coma in her sleep. Hope J is happier soon. Kellie

Subject: Re: hurtingTo: AutismBehaviorProbl emsyahoogroups (DOT) comDate: Sunday, November 9, 2008, 12:37 AM

Kellie,

Is that a flu she had? I know what youare talking about with the missing thing. J had a boxer for 13 years and I swear he had some autism too. We lost him in May and the first few days J said nothing then all of a sudden he said "Jinx"? It broke my heart. A month later we got another white boxer who was a little thing. At first J wouldn't have anything to do with it but now it is getting big and looking alot like Jinx and J is paying it some attention.

We willl get pictures out of Jinx and "Talk" about him. Was sick for a long time or did it jusy happen quikley? Lois

Re: hurting

AOL Search: Your one stop for directions, recipes and all other Holiday needs. Search Now.

[Guest guest]

NO everyone it was . Right when I was writing the post Paige was dancing to the wiggles tape and she was being so cute that I didn't even notice I had put her name there. Just the normal Mom thing of getting there names mixed up in my head.

Subject: Re: hurtingTo: AutismBehaviorProbl emsyahoogroups (DOT) comDate: Sunday, November 9, 2008, 12:37 AM

Kellie,

Is that a flu she had? I know what youare talking about with the missing thing. J had a boxer for 13 years and I swear he had some autism too. We lost him in May and the first few days J said nothing then all of a sudden he said "Jinx"? It broke my heart. A month later we got another white boxer who was a little thing. At first J wouldn't have anything to do with it but now it is getting big and looking alot like Jinx and J is paying it some attention.

We willl get pictures out of Jinx and "Talk" about him. Was sick for a long time or did it jusy happen quikley? Lois

Re: hurting

AOL Search: Your one stop for directions, recipes and all other Holiday needs. Search Now.

[Guest guest]

Stacie,

Sorry it was just the normal Mom thing of switching names. Paige was being so cute dancing to the wiggles that I had her in my mind and didn't notice the error. Kellie

Subject: Re: hurtingTo: AutismBehaviorProbl emsyahoogroups (DOT) comDate: Sunday, November 9, 2008, 12:37 AM

Kellie,

Is that a flu she had? I know what youare talking about with the missing thing. J had a boxer for 13 years and I swear he had some autism too. We lost him in May and the first few days J said nothing then all of a sudden he said "Jinx"? It broke my heart. A month later we got another white boxer who was a little thing. At first J wouldn't have anything to do with it but now it is getting big and looking alot like Jinx and J is paying it some attention.

We willl get pictures out of Jinx and "Talk" about him. Was sick for a long time or did it jusy happen quikley? Lois

Re: hurting

AOL Search: Your one stop for directions, recipes and all other Holiday needs. Search Now.

[Guest guest]

Oh ok! So it is then? I thought so! How are you doing today?StacieSent via BlackBerry by AT&TDate: Mon, 10 Nov 2008 04:13:02 -0800 (PST)To: <AutismBehaviorProblems >Subject: Re: hurting Stacie, Sorry it was just the normal Mom thing of switching names. Paige was being so cute dancing to the wiggles that I had her in my mind and didn't notice the error. KellieSubject: Re: hurtingTo: AutismBehaviorProbl emsyahoogroups (DOT) comDate: Sunday, November 9, 2008, 12:37 AMKellie, Is that a flu she had? I know what youare talking about with the missing thing. J had a boxer for 13 years and I swear he had some autism too. We lost him in May and the first few days J said nothing then all of a sudden he said "Jinx"? It broke my heart. A month later we got another white boxer who was a little thing. At first J wouldn't have anything to do with it but now it is getting big and looking alot like Jinx and J is paying it some attention. We willl get pictures out of Jinx and "Talk" about him. Was sick for a long time or did it jusy happen quikley? Lois Re: hurting AOL Search: Your one stop for directions, recipes and all other Holiday needs. Search Now.