Re: D.J.'s at it again!

[Guest guest]

Hi, . I have to make this short because I'm trying to get out the

door but I wanted to say that I think your son's problem with school is

definitely the OCD. My guess is that it isn't as under control as you'd like to

think.

He could also have a different " ABC " disorder to go with the OCD--many of

our kids have trouble with concentration and other things. He may have OCD

things that are preventing him from paying attention, writing, getting through

his

work, etc. My oldest daughter had an evenness problem that made her check

both page numbers before and after she read a page in a book. That can really

slow someone down! I think he is probably doing to best he can right

now--sometimes just making it through the day is enough for these kids. This

disorder

is so frustrating because sometimes kids are so good at masking it, we don't

know there are issues until something like this happens. I'd talk to his

doctor if I were you and see what he/she thinks before I'd start disciplining.

I

think he needs some help. Good luck and hang in there! Kelley in NV

[Guest guest]

Dear -

((Hugs)) to you. I know how difficult it is to sift through what is

OCD, what is 'normal' kid behavior, what is willful defiance, etc.

From your brief description of your son, I was wondering if he has

ever been evaluated for ADHD? The impulsiveness, not raising his

hand, 'forgetting' books or other items necessary for school,--these

all sound fairly typical for ADHD. Additionally, ADHD and OCD occur

very commonly together. I may be on the wrong track, but just

having gone through a similar experience with my daughter (not the

impulsiveness, but the inattentiveness), your description struck

home. Have you read " Taming the Tiger " ? Somewhere near the front

of the book is a description of ADHD symptoms. My daughter had 17

of the 19 characteristics of inattentive ADHD. She started on

Concerta five days ago, and there has been a truly remarkable

difference. We struggled with her symptoms for three years...I had

tried incentives/disincentives/reading to her/writing for her/and on

and on. In five days, she's made more progress than in the three

previous years. Although the ADHD symptoms were present prior to my

knowledge of her OCD, they did become more prominent with the OCD

onsent and treatment.

FWIW, MHO....Keep us posted

Blessings-

(Ohio) Anne (13)

[Guest guest]

Hi , yes I'd like that book too! My OCD daughter has or has had each

of the problems and behaviors your son is having, and I do believe it's most

likely OCD related.

It could be the Zoloft has " unmasked " some ADHD tendencies in your son, or

the med is somewhat activating and disinhibiting for him. This side effect

made my child very " blurty-outy " as though thoughts came straight out of her

mouth at warp speed without passing through her brain first. Not raising

his hand in class, clowning, being generally disruptive and talking at

inappropriate times makes me think of this.

Another possibility is, though his OCD is much lower than it was when he was

diagnosed, there are still significant symptoms that are interfering. He

could need his Zoloft adjusted, 50mg is a low dose to treat OCD (My daughter

has been stabilized on 150mg Zoloft for a number of years now.) If he's

having obsessions and mental rituals, these are not obvious to others, but

could explain why his grades have fallen so and maybe why he's disruptive in

class. My child would desperately look for something to distract her when

obsessions and anxiety hit. Sitting quietly in class was difficult when

this happened, and finding an appropriate way to distract her attention from

the obsessions tough in the classroom setting. Perhaps D.J. is creating

disturbances for this reason as my child was? One of the best teachers Kel

had noticed when she was getting " wound up " (from anxiety from obsessions)

and sent her on some errand etc. which gave her a chance to refocus.

How long has your son taken the 50mg dose of Zoloft? If he hasn't been at

this dose very long, you may notice some of the behaviors reducing soon as

he become acclimated to this level.

Have you asked your son what is going on? I found it best to approach my

daughter from the perspective of " if OCD is making dumb rules for you or

bothering you, that's not fair, let me know so we can try to fix the

problem " , rather than anything that conveyed I was disappointed or worried,

this usually got her talking. I suggest you take the position that of

course, D.J. wants to get good grades and not embarrass himself in class, so

maybe this can be fixed, what would help?

D.J. has a psychiatrist and a therapist? I would drop this in their laps

heh, heh. It's not really your job alone to figure out what's going on with

your son, his behavior, his OCD, his schoolwork, etc. If D.J. does not have

a CBT therapist and doesn't do ERP, I suggest you get him started since this

can finish off the remaining OCD after a good start with an SSRI. The

therapist may also have resources or advice for you too in explaining about

OCD to D.J.'s sibs and why things may be different for him for awhile--give

you some good tips for parenting an OCDer too. You might all benefit from a

few sessions of family counseling just to get everyone on the same

page--Dad, kids--about OCD, what to expect, what's fair, and so on. Dad for

example needs to know that medications for OCD typically do not cure this

disorder.

Your distress level and wanting to give up is a major hint right there that

OCD and etc. is still affecting you and your family to a significant degree.

If you are feeling this bad and overwhelmed, I'd bet money there's still

quite a bit of OCD in your son to get rid of yet! Don't forget to find time

for yourself, subduing OCD is a longish haul and no one can be " on it " all

the time, it's not fair or helpful to hold yourself to this impossible

standard.

You remember your boy before OCD hit, his grades, his personality, his

behavior, what was in- and out-of-character for him--that D.J. is still in

there and you will see more and more of that boy as the OCD further recedes.

((((Hugs)))),

Kathy R. in Indiana

----- Original Message -----

> Hello everyone!

>

> My son D.J. was diagnosed with OCD in October and has been taking 50

> mg of Zoloft since then. It seems to have helped. He is much

> better than the initial wake up call we received a few months ago.

> He's more like himself now, but I'm not sure if that's good or not,

> because now I can't tell if he's having OCD issues or just normal 11-

> year old rambunctious behavior.

>

> The problem now is school work. He just brought his report card

> home and every grade but one went down. He has 3 D-'s!!! My 13

> year old daughter has always made straight A's and I never really

> expected D.J. to have such a terrible report card. I know he has

> some problems with late work, not completing work on

> time, 'forgetting' to bring books home, etc. His teacher sent a

> referral home last week because he was very disruptive in class and

> being the class clown. He talks at inappropriate times, doesn't

> raise his hand, etc.

>

> How do I know if this is him or OCD? What can I do? My husband

> thinks his OCD is cured and he's just being lazy not doing his

> work. He thinks a good spanking is the best remedy, but I

> completely do not agree. I just think there are deeper problems

> here whether or not it's OCD related and I don't think a spanking

> will help. In fact, I'm starting to feel that nothing will help.

> Why even punish him at all? I don't think it's going to make him

> act better or do better. How can we not punish him and then expect

> our other 3 children to do their best? What's to stop them from not

> trying in school either?

>

> I'm so confused, I don't know what to do. I just wish there was an

> answer book...if they get a D-, do this, if they act like a class

> clown, do this! It would be so easy then. I'm about to give up

> trying and I know I sound like such a baby on here. Especially

> since so many of you are having so much worse of a time at this. I

> know I'm whining about this, but I'm just so tired. Tired of

> thinking about how to handle every situation 'the right way'.

>

> I'm so sorry for venting like this and I'm so glad there is a site

> like this to help. Thank you again!

>

> in Missouri

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Yes, kids can suddenly change around that age as to behaviors,

schoolwork importance, etc.

However, since OCD seems to have popped up in October and then you

just never know what else might come along (whether a medication

might affect something like behavior or ADD tendencies, etc.), I can

relate to your difficulty in trying to decide the " whys " of all this!

This is just me, mom of 3 boys speaking here and guessing what I'd

do. First, I try never to punish for anything OCD related. But I

would " lay down the law " as to school behavior (any type of class

disruption, need to raise hand, etc.). I would also talk/ask my son

if any of this was due to OCD. won't talk expressively about

his OCD but I can usually get some type answer; I take a shrug as

a " yes. " (Now if this were my other 2 kids, I'd go more on instinct

as to if OCD or not, 's just always been more honest; a little

scrupulosity there)

Anyway, even if OCD is the cause of any unwanted school behavior, I

would stress that it needs to stop. Not like that works overnight, I

told once to STOP asking the teacher each day if they could

go outside and that didn't immediately stop.

Also, this year the subject matter might just be getting a lot

tougher, perhaps more hard to understand/learn, more writing? And

the distraction of OCD can play a part in this too. I would try to

sit down and see if he actually " knows " the material but is still

getting bad grades. If he's having trouble understanding a subject

(like a certain chapter in science or math), that might be why he is

not completing work on time, etc.

Regarding schoolwork, does he have any type IEP or 504 Plan set up

for him?? He could probably use some accommodations for his

schoolwork, especially if you feel all this has begun since OCD has

come around. Even if you are not sure that problems are OCD-related,

you can still use the " OCD " as a reason for an accommodation.

's OCD was causing schoolwork problems, his not being able to

complete it or even write it sometimes. The school was trying to

accommodate his " dysgraphia " (illegibility of writing, plus writing

was physically hard for him, tiring). It was fine with me if they

attributed it all to dysgraphia, " I " knew OCD was the main problem.

OK, I'm sure I've jumped around here a bit, hope something made

sense. All above was just thoughts from what I've gone through with

EACH of my sons over the years, not just my OCDer!

Let us know how things are going and hope they soon improve. I,

personally, wouldn't punish right now for grades since this was so

unexpected and would work on trying to improve next report card

grades. I would, however, talk about the behavior & expectations for

that in the classroom and punish if that keeps up and you don't think

it's OCD related.

Again, just some quick thoughts. Hang in there, believe me, whether

it's OCD or just " age " , you won't stay in this spot forever!

> Hello everyone!

>

> My son D.J. was diagnosed with OCD in October and has been taking

50

> mg of Zoloft since then. It seems to have helped. He is much

> better than the initial wake up call we received a few months ago.

> He's more like himself now, but I'm not sure if that's good or not,

> because now I can't tell if he's having OCD issues or just normal

11-

> year old rambunctious behavior.

>

> The problem now is school work. He just brought his report card

> home and every grade but one went down. He has 3 D-'s!!! My 13

> year old daughter has always made straight A's and I never really

> expected D.J. to have such a terrible report card. I know he has

> some problems with late work, not completing work on

> time, 'forgetting' to bring books home, etc. His teacher sent a

> referral home last week because he was very disruptive in class and

> being the class clown. He talks at inappropriate times, doesn't

> raise his hand, etc.

>

> How do I know if this is him or OCD? What can I do? My husband

> thinks his OCD is cured and he's just being lazy not doing his

> work. He thinks a good spanking is the best remedy, but I

> completely do not agree. I just think there are deeper problems

> here whether or not it's OCD related and I don't think a spanking

> will help. In fact, I'm starting to feel that nothing will help.

> Why even punish him at all? I don't think it's going to make him

> act better or do better. How can we not punish him and then expect

> our other 3 children to do their best? What's to stop them from

not

> trying in school either?

>

> I'm so confused, I don't know what to do. I just wish there was an

> answer book...if they get a D-, do this, if they act like a class

> clown, do this! It would be so easy then. I'm about to give up

> trying and I know I sound like such a baby on here. Especially

> since so many of you are having so much worse of a time at this. I

> know I'm whining about this, but I'm just so tired. Tired of

> thinking about how to handle every situation 'the right way'.

>

> I'm so sorry for venting like this and I'm so glad there is a site

> like this to help. Thank you again!

>

> in Missouri

[Guest guest]

My daughter's grades dropped pretty dramatically when she began taking

Celexa. It took us a while to be convinced that there was a real connection, but

I've since heard from other people that they've had the same experience. It may

be that the Zoloft is making him having a harder time concentrating, or that he

is feeling kind of disinhibited from the Zoloft (the being a clown and not

raising his hand makes sense then) and just not caring so much about school. We

found that switching SSRIs made quite a difference. Lowering the dose may also

be in order. In any case, I'd certainly discuss this with his prescribing

physician if it seems to coincide with the starting of the Zoloft.

Best wishes,

in NV