Middle school woes

[Guest guest]

My son's middle school seems to be ignoring his IEP. I knew (11) would have a hard time transitioning to middle school, but they assured me he would get lots of services, have an aide, and have a social skills group. Well, there is NO social skills group going on, despite it being in the IEP, and the teachers are emailing me constantly telling me of problems is having. They keep asking me what they should do. Apparently is frequently late to art class because his locker is crowded and he can't get into it, so he sits on the floor and waits for an opening. His art teacher said he'll get detention if he keeps doing this. He also forgets his pencils in his locker every morning, and keeps getting written up for it (which brings down his grade). His homeroom teacher said he does very little work, then sits and doodles the rest of the time. He also said is refusing to write down assignments in his agenda book, or writes something silly, and when the aide tries to help he gets mad at her. They keep emailing me about these things and asking what they should do. On one hand, I appreciate the heads up and am glad they are informing me about what is going on. On the other hand, I can't do much from HERE, you know? I was hoping THEY would be the ones to help, since they are the ones at school and supposedly knew what they were doing writing out the IEP.

On top of this, there is a kid in his class who keeps making fun of him, and is now saying he wants to beat him up.

Any words of advice? Suggestions? Do your kids go to public schools? Someone told me I should send to a "special school" but I don't know what that means, or what it involves.

I just feel like crying.

[Guest guest]

,

I haven't been there yet and I don't know how the school is set up. However, I had a friend whose son had similar issues (and this was about 2 years before he was diagnosed with Aspergers). They recognized that he couldn't transition so they put him in more of a structured, self-contained classroom throughout middle school and high school. He thrived. However, when he graduated, he wasn't able to do college because he hadn't learned those skills.Eileen

To: AutismBehaviorProblems From: alli110200@...Date: Mon, 13 Oct 2008 23:25:14 -0400Subject: Middle school woes

Any words of advice? Suggestions? Do your kids go to public schools? Someone told me I should send to a "special school" but I don't know what that means, or what it involves.

I just feel like crying.

,_._,___

[Guest guest]

#1 Go ahead and cry if it makes you feel better. I would personally flip through

my States

Procedural Safeguards handbook and eat a bunch of chocolate.

#2 Do not send him to a " special school " . He will be exposed to much worse

behaviors

than sitting and waiting. You do know that in these schools, all hands off rules

are gone

and the staff can physically restrain your child. Never, ever even listen to

this kind of talk.

Smile nicely and say " Thank you for your archaic, discriminatory and illegal

opinion, next

time I need judgmental and uninformed advice I will know just who to call " and

walk away.

#3 Call a meeting with his IEP team to discuss his problem transitioning.

Brainstorm with

the team about accommodations to help with his confusion. Leaving materials in

class?

Peer mentor to help with classwork? A breakout to the resource room for study

skills

training? He needs to have help figuring out where his problems are, what his

strengths

are, what his coping methods are, and then what accomodations will help him. It

is their

job to figure out how to make school work for him, along with you as part of his

team.

Bring donuts. Ask questions take names and notes. Leave no prisoners.

#4 If that meeting is unproductive, ask for a Functional Behavioral Assessment,

and the

following Positive Behavioral Support Plan.

#5 Find a Parent Navigator,or some other support to help you with the process.

If you

don't know where to find one go to www.taalliance.org or call 1-

#6 Just in case, call your local disability law center and copy them all emails

to and from

the school. It's free. Use it. They are on you and your son's side.

#7 Report bully to principal. Alert aide that the kid should not be left alone

or even near

your kid until he outgrows his childish behavior (the bully's not your son's,

your kid is

supposed to be immature, he is developmentally DELAYED for chrissakes)

Just a question, why did they write in social skills groups when they aren't

having them?

Most school psychologists or counselors are not properly trained for this.

Middle school

boys do NOT want to do this kind of group. Chess club or computer club were

invented for

them instead.

>

> My son's middle school seems to be ignoring his IEP. I knew (11) would

have a

hard time transitioning to middle school, but they assured me he would get lots

of

services, have an aide, and have a social skills group. Well, there is NO

social skills group

going on, despite it being in the IEP, and the teachers are emailing me

constantly telling

me of problems is having. They keep asking me what they should do.

Apparently

is frequently late to art class because his locker is crowded and he can't

get into it,

so he sits on the floor and waits for an opening. His art teacher said he'll

get detention if

he keeps doing this. He also forgets his pencils in his locker every morning,

and keeps

getting written up for it (which brings down his grade). His homeroom teacher

said he

does very little work, then sits and doodles the rest of the time. He also said

is

refusing to write down assignments in his agenda book, or writes something

silly, and

when the aide tries to help he gets mad at her. They keep emailing me about

these things

and asking what they should do. On one hand, I appreciate the heads up and am

glad

they are informing me about what is going on. On the other hand, I can't do

much from

HERE, you know? I was hoping THEY would be the ones to help, since they are the

ones at

school and supposedly knew what they were doing writing out the IEP.

>

> On top of this, there is a kid in his class who keeps making fun of him, and

is now

saying he wants to beat him up.

>

> Any words of advice? Suggestions? Do your kids go to public schools?

Someone told

me I should send to a " special school " but I don't know what that means,

or what it

involves.

>

> I just feel like crying.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi ,you may want to have another meeting right away. My kids

had iep's that were not followed because some of the teachers did not

follow,read or interpet it correctly or knew very little about kids

on the spectrum. I had are pediatrician fax simple public info facts

or need to know things to the school before the meeting. It helped

the school that it came from a pediatrician and not just my ideas or

version of autism specific needs. You may have to request all of his

teachers be present and re-do or reconfirm his iep. You will want to

intervene before they punish him for what may be his own way of

coping or form of communication skill. As far as bullies go that will

need your fast action. Bullies and teasing will have a huge negative

affect in school and away from school on your son. The combined

stress of teachers,locker and tardies with a bully will be to

stressful on the best student. Your son will be in short supply of a

buffer zone with so much stress. I would consider homeschooling if

you do not get the school to act fast. Does your son have any friends

in this school or good buddy types?

Best wishes,

Tishanne

>

> My son's middle school seems to be ignoring his IEP. I knew

(11) would have a hard time transitioning to middle school, but they

assured me he would get lots of services, have an aide, and have a

social skills group. Well, there is NO social skills group going on,

despite it being in the IEP, and the teachers are emailing me

constantly telling me of problems is having. They keep asking

me what they should do. Apparently is frequently late to art

class because his locker is crowded and he can't get into it, so he

sits on the floor and waits for an opening. His art teacher said

he'll get detention if he keeps doing this. He also forgets his

pencils in his locker every morning, and keeps getting written up for

it (which brings down his grade). His homeroom teacher said he does

very little work, then sits and doodles the rest of the time. He

also said is refusing to write down assignments in his agenda

book, or writes something silly, and when the aide tries to help he

gets mad at her. They keep emailing me about these things and asking

what they should do. On one hand, I appreciate the heads up and am

glad they are informing me about what is going on. On the other

hand, I can't do much from HERE, you know? I was hoping THEY would

be the ones to help, since they are the ones at school and supposedly

knew what they were doing writing out the IEP.

>

> On top of this, there is a kid in his class who keeps making fun of

him, and is now saying he wants to beat him up.

>

> Any words of advice? Suggestions? Do your kids go to public

schools? Someone told me I should send to a " special school "

but I don't know what that means, or what it involves.

>

> I just feel like crying.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks, everyone. This just keeps getting worse. My son forgot his trombone this morning, so now I have to go drop it off. He forgets his pencils every day in his locker, he forgets his music book all the time, etc. We have to yell and nag at him to get his homework done, so yesterday I told him that we are done with that. I will remind him at 4:00 every day that it's homework time, turn off all electronics, and the rest is his responsibility. He ended up playing until 7:00, then decided to start his homework, and only got one sheet done. His dad had to practically drag him out of bed this morning, and I heard him yelling at him to take his meds and get his butt moving. I am just so incredibly tired of all this. And we have 3 more years of middle school and 4 years of high school to go. Will this ever get better???