Guest guest Posted September 25, 2008 Report Share Posted September 25, 2008 Thanks everyone for so much understanding. I feel so much better after a reality check and your kind words. This behavior/meltdowns sometimes overwhelms me. I think what got him going on the wrong foot was a change,going to his dads house while I took my daughter to her driving appointment and to shop. He has gotten so rigid with change. Going or being anywhere else is his biggest stress. When ever he is under stress or has negative input perceptions from anyone he goes into difficult behaviors and is aggressive. I know when this change began almost a year ago. I havent been able to bring it back to good. I could manage him and he could understand me before that time. He lost some skills with the regression. He seems to still be regressing. I hope he levels off soon. Being off the meds has really helped him for redirects. He still locks on to a thought or action and cant see the whole picture. I have been giving him a big buffer zone for the changes and upfront time. He just cant accept anyones activity around him without confusion or hyper negative reaction. Today is a better day so far! Hermit in training, Tishanne > > > > Hi,I am at my wits end. My son has been in his meltdowns all day. > He > > just fell asleep with his best mood of the day,eve and night. My > > other children finally came upstairs to reheat pizza and get ice > > cream from the half hiding safety of their rooms. I am really > losing > > my ability to reach my son. Words,talking are bothering him. He is > > overly concerned with what or what nots of family life. He gets > angry > > at every little thing anyone else is doing or not doing according > to > > his notions. Its like he wants to have an orchestrated family life > > and us to be paper dolls he can put in certain places. I was able > to > > redirect him twice today and he was calm for about half an hour > then > > went right back to hyper irritated. He fainted once. Hes been doing > > that. From what the Dr.s say is adreneline dumping causing him to > > hyperventilate and faint in his anger. He is so stuck in his > thought > > patterns,angry ones. He can't even play because everything has to > be > > just right. No one can be close to him or talk to him although he > can > > yell,cry or babble and be close to us. I offered him some things he > > could destroy,like pizza box's and paper. I've tried it all today. > He > > did really pound,punch and tear them up. He has been pounding on > > walls,doors,cupboards. Kicking at things and head banging. My > husband > > says we are hostage in our own home,in a sad way he's right. No one > > can relax or drop their guard. Our house is in the shambles,no > > vaccuum sounds could be tolerated today. It really brings us all > into > > dysfunction. Its sad but it does help if no one else interacts with > > him save for me or just one of us,usually me. I feel like we need > two > > houses so my family can go eat pizza and hang out. My 14 year old > > said " Mom,I am reading a book about autism " with a hopeful smile. > She > > puts a small couch against her bedroom door. A door we fixed a few > > times because my son charged it down when she was his target. He's > a > > bull in the china shop. Sometimes he looks at us and just sees red. > > I'm building a bridge with the intent of getting closer,connected > and > > it feels like he's on an island thats floating away, just out of my > > reach. I just keep building and this span of bridge is our life > span. > > We live on the bridge now and look back at the land ever hoping to > > visit the island. Where's a good troll when you need one? LOL. All > > you parents and families going through this know the troll got out > of > > dodge. > > Still building, > > Tishanne > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 26, 2008 Report Share Posted September 26, 2008 Hi Tishanne, A thought occurs..have you ever tried to redirect his violence to something that is meant for such things...a punching bag..sounds like a heavy bag is probably about right. Maybe one of those punching dummies that light up when you hit it to redirect his attention? I didn't pick up on how old he is. Our son, age 11, is GFCF, no processed sugar, we even keep the red apples down as they have a higher sugar content then that of others. As a result he is very healthy, so we are fortunate that the aggressive behavior doesn't take the form of hitting or truly SIB (Self-Injurious Behavior..for those of you that don't know) That being said ya never know whats around that puberty corner..especially with boys. One of our major concerns is the recent increase in attention to his privates and the subsequent interest in watching the girls run at school..as I have been informed today appears to be a recent interest of his. 8-) He has attempted to get attention by slapping his head with his hand..but we were able to get it under control pretty quickly, and he never did any actual tissue damage. The recommendation that I make about redirecting the attack is more from my own experience of being a frustrated youth at some point in my life and would generally try to find something inanimate to hit when the levels went too high. Actually I have had to think in those terms again due to our recent battles with the local school district...but that is a novel for another time. Is there anything at all that he has such a fascination with that you can leverage it to your advantage? It sounds like you have removed some meds from the equation, and since I have limited experience with meds for the purpose of decreasing aggression I dont have much to offer there. On a final note, I know you love him, but remember to ensure that you and your daughter are safe if he is able to do you harm. If for no other reason than the fact that you won't be able to help him if your laid up from an injury. In our case I am large enough to be able to restrain our son if it were necessary..well maybe for another year or so, but restraint isn't the answer anyway in my view..at least as it relates to our son. From your writing it sounds like your doing better than many would given the same situation. Take care > > > > > > Hi,I am at my wits end. My son has been in his meltdowns all day. > > He > > > just fell asleep with his best mood of the day,eve and night. My > > > other children finally came upstairs to reheat pizza and get ice > > > cream from the half hiding safety of their rooms. I am really > > losing > > > my ability to reach my son. Words,talking are bothering him. He > is > > > overly concerned with what or what nots of family life. He gets > > angry > > > at every little thing anyone else is doing or not doing according > > to > > > his notions. Its like he wants to have an orchestrated family > life > > > and us to be paper dolls he can put in certain places. I was able > > to > > > redirect him twice today and he was calm for about half an hour > > then > > > went right back to hyper irritated. He fainted once. Hes been > doing > > > that. From what the Dr.s say is adreneline dumping causing him to > > > hyperventilate and faint in his anger. He is so stuck in his > > thought > > > patterns,angry ones. He can't even play because everything has to > > be > > > just right. No one can be close to him or talk to him although he > > can > > > yell,cry or babble and be close to us. I offered him some things > he > > > could destroy,like pizza box's and paper. I've tried it all > today. > > He > > > did really pound,punch and tear them up. He has been pounding on > > > walls,doors,cupboards. Kicking at things and head banging. My > > husband > > > says we are hostage in our own home,in a sad way he's right. No > one > > > can relax or drop their guard. Our house is in the shambles,no > > > vaccuum sounds could be tolerated today. It really brings us all > > into > > > dysfunction. Its sad but it does help if no one else interacts > with > > > him save for me or just one of us,usually me. I feel like we need > > two > > > houses so my family can go eat pizza and hang out. My 14 year old > > > said " Mom,I am reading a book about autism " with a hopeful smile. > > She > > > puts a small couch against her bedroom door. A door we fixed a > few > > > times because my son charged it down when she was his target. > He's > > a > > > bull in the china shop. Sometimes he looks at us and just sees > red. > > > I'm building a bridge with the intent of getting closer,connected > > and > > > it feels like he's on an island thats floating away, just out of > my > > > reach. I just keep building and this span of bridge is our life > > span. > > > We live on the bridge now and look back at the land ever hoping > to > > > visit the island. Where's a good troll when you need one? LOL. > All > > > you parents and families going through this know the troll got > out > > of > > > dodge. > > > Still building, > > > Tishanne > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 27, 2008 Report Share Posted September 27, 2008 Sorry for the misunderstanding..no, my growing pains were at the puberty years and just a bit before. I think somewhere around the 8 to 12 year range. > > Thank you ...did you have growing pains at 23 months? This is interesting...I will watch for that. Our son's OT is going to introduce me to the brushing therapy....and she has also mentioned listening therapy. I'm always a little reluctant to try something when I don't know anyone else who has.......I love what you say about the bond...YES we are finding that the more we do with him, that is hand's on...like sensory stuff. It does bond. It is a very special time...a time of almost constant engagement....and then to see him for a couple of hours afterwords, it's amazing. >  > Thanks, . >  > e > > > > Re: Life on the bridge > > > . > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 27, 2008 Report Share Posted September 27, 2008 Lesley, I dont mind the question or answering. I am going to open another thread though so we don't run over the top of Tishannes' I'll post it at Alarms on Doors. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Hi,I am at my wits end. My son has been in his meltdowns > > all > > > > day. > > > > > > He > > > > > > > just fell asleep with his best mood of the day,eve and > > night. > > > > My > > > > > > > other children finally came upstairs to reheat pizza and > > get > > > > ice > > > > > > > cream from the half hiding safety of their rooms. I am > > really > > > > > > losing > > > > > > > my ability to reach my son. Words,talking are bothering > > him. > > > He > > > > > is > > > > > > > overly concerned with what or what nots of family life. > He > > > gets > > > > > > angry > > > > > > > at every little thing anyone else is doing or not doing > > > > according > > > > > > to > > > > > > > his notions. Its like he wants to have an orchestrated > > family > > > > > life > > > > > > > and us to be paper dolls he can put in certain places. I > > was > > > > able > > > > > > to > > > > > > > redirect him twice today and he was calm for about half > an > > > hour > > > > > > then > > > > > > > went right back to hyper irritated. He fainted once. Hes > > been > > > > > doing > > > > > > > that. From what the Dr.s say is adreneline dumping > causing > > > him > > > > to > > > > > > > hyperventilate and faint in his anger. He is so stuck in > > his > > > > > > thought > > > > > > > patterns,angry ones. He can't even play because > everything > > > has > > > > to > > > > > > be > > > > > > > just right. No one can be close to him or talk to him > > > although > > > > he > > > > > > can > > > > > > > yell,cry or babble and be close to us. I offered him some > > > > things > > > > > he > > > > > > > could destroy,like pizza box's and paper. I've tried it > all > > > > > today. > > > > > > He > > > > > > > did really pound,punch and tear them up. He has been > > pounding > > > > on > > > > > > > walls,doors, cupboards. Kicking at things and head > banging. > > My > > > > > > husband > > > > > > > says we are hostage in our own home,in a sad way he's > > right. > > > No > > > > > one > > > > > > > can relax or drop their guard. Our house is in the > > > shambles,no > > > > > > > vaccuum sounds could be tolerated today. It really brings > > us > > > > all > > > > > > into > > > > > > > dysfunction. Its sad but it does help if no one else > > > interacts > > > > > with > > > > > > > him save for me or just one of us,usually me. I feel like > > we > > > > need > > > > > > two > > > > > > > houses so my family can go eat pizza and hang out. My 14 > > year > > > > old > > > > > > > said " Mom,I am reading a book about autism " with a > hopeful > > > > smile. > > > > > > She > > > > > > > puts a small couch against her bedroom door. A door we > > fixed > > > a > > > > > few > > > > > > > times because my son charged it down when she was his > > target. > > > > > He's > > > > > > a > > > > > > > bull in the china shop. Sometimes he looks at us and just > > > sees > > > > > red. > > > > > > > I'm building a bridge with the intent of getting > > > > closer,connected > > > > > > and > > > > > > > it feels like he's on an island thats floating away, just > > out > > > > of > > > > > my > > > > > > > reach. I just keep building and this span of bridge is > our > > > life > > > > > > span. > > > > > > > We live on the bridge now and look back at the land ever > > > hoping > > > > > to > > > > > > > visit the island. Where's a good troll when you need one? > > > LOL. > > > > > All > > > > > > > you parents and families going through this know the > troll > > > got > > > > > out > > > > > > of > > > > > > > dodge. > > > > > > > Still building, > > > > > > > Tishanne > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Make the switch to the world & #39;s best email. Get Yahoo!7 > Mail! http://au.yahoo. com/y7mail > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Make the switch to the world & #39;s best email. Get Yahoo!7 Mail! http://au.yahoo.com/y7mail > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 28, 2008 Report Share Posted September 28, 2008 Hi Stacie We share a birthday, although I'm sure I'm older. Sorry I haven't answered any of these threads, I just don't have anything else to add. > > > > > > > > > > Hi,I am at my wits end. My son has been in his meltdowns all > > day. > > > > He > > > > > just fell asleep with his best mood of the day,eve and night. > > My > > > > > other children finally came upstairs to reheat pizza and get > > ice > > > > > cream from the half hiding safety of their rooms. I am really > > > > losing > > > > > my ability to reach my son. Words,talking are bothering him. > He > > > is > > > > > overly concerned with what or what nots of family life. He > gets > > > > angry > > > > > at every little thing anyone else is doing or not doing > > according > > > > to > > > > > his notions. Its like he wants to have an orchestrated family > > > life > > > > > and us to be paper dolls he can put in certain places. I was > > able > > > > to > > > > > redirect him twice today and he was calm for about half an > hour > > > > then > > > > > went right back to hyper irritated. He fainted once. Hes been > > > doing > > > > > that. From what the Dr.s say is adreneline dumping causing > him > > to > > > > > hyperventilate and faint in his anger. He is so stuck in his > > > > thought > > > > > patterns,angry ones. He can't even play because everything > has > > to > > > > be > > > > > just right. No one can be close to him or talk to him > although > > he > > > > can > > > > > yell,cry or babble and be close to us. I offered him some > > things > > > he > > > > > could destroy,like pizza box's and paper. I've tried it all > > > today. > > > > He > > > > > did really pound,punch and tear them up. He has been pounding > > on > > > > > walls,doors,cupboards. Kicking at things and head banging. My > > > > husband > > > > > says we are hostage in our own home,in a sad way he's right. > No > > > one > > > > > can relax or drop their guard. Our house is in the > shambles,no > > > > > vaccuum sounds could be tolerated today. It really brings us > > all > > > > into > > > > > dysfunction. Its sad but it does help if no one else > interacts > > > with > > > > > him save for me or just one of us,usually me. I feel like we > > need > > > > two > > > > > houses so my family can go eat pizza and hang out. My 14 year > > old > > > > > said " Mom,I am reading a book about autism " with a hopeful > > smile. > > > > She > > > > > puts a small couch against her bedroom door. A door we fixed > a > > > few > > > > > times because my son charged it down when she was his target. > > > He's > > > > a > > > > > bull in the china shop. Sometimes he looks at us and just > sees > > > red. > > > > > I'm building a bridge with the intent of getting > > closer,connected > > > > and > > > > > it feels like he's on an island thats floating away, just out > > of > > > my > > > > > reach. I just keep building and this span of bridge is our > life > > > > span. > > > > > We live on the bridge now and look back at the land ever > hoping > > > to > > > > > visit the island. Where's a good troll when you need one? > LOL. > > > All > > > > > you parents and families going through this know the troll > got > > > out > > > > of > > > > > dodge. > > > > > Still building, > > > > > Tishanne > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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