Guest guest Posted June 17, 2004 Report Share Posted June 17, 2004 , Hang tight! Bless your heart--I can sooo relate. How old is your son? What med and dosage and how long? Is he on an anti-anxiety? The anti-anxiety has helped Lexi function and now she can do some ERP. For the month of May, she literally could not do chores, school, play with friends, etc. Since she has improved at coping (with the help of medicine), I'm having her 'do life'...I have to continue to remind her to do her tasks, etc. Before OCD she was diligent and self-reliant, but she has regressed considerably...understandably. It seems she wants to 'get stuck' in activities...read all day, fish, piddle outside, linger over lunch with book, play with her hair. Whatever the activity, she has trouble switching gears! So in steps Mom to keep her moving from task to task. In a way I see this as a type of ERP. She is writing her thoughts and rating their intensity, reading a script of her thoughts exaggerated into a tape recorder, listening to it then reading or typing the script. She is also doing ATT where we set up 'white noise' in four corners of the room and she listens to one then another randomly attempting to tune out the others...to work on gear shifting. I don't know if these dogs will hunt, but we're going to try until we find a good therapist. blessyou, cristey TX On Thu, 17 Jun 2004 11:00:39 -0500 " " writes: > Cristey, > My son initially would have the thought, look anxious, come tell me > he's having OCD, and then confess. After he confessed, he would > have no release of anxiety-instead it would be worse, because it > upset him, having to tell me the thoughts. There seems to be no > relief of the anxiety with any kind of action on his part. When we > begun the ERP (along with medication), we decided he should not > confess to me-because that could be the compulsion. (Again, we've > not had formal therapy yet utilizing ERP-just CBT in the past.) I'm > not sure I'm correct in assuming the confession is the compulsion in > that it doesn't help him, but I'm not sure. We'll eventually > probably be directed to a therapist, but for now, I want to be > working with him while the medication is helping him, because that's > when I have heard they are " ripe for the picking " . Since the > anxiety is controlled somewhat with the medication, I know that's > the time to be working on the thoughts.....just don't know how to do > that without knowing what the thoughts are. > > Anyway, sounds like you and I are at the same point-wanting to help > and love them without reinforcing the compulsion. We may try the > writing it out. > > Thanks so much for your input. > > Take care, > in Southern Illinois ________________________________________________________________ The best thing to hit the Internet in years - Juno SpeedBand! Surf the Web up to FIVE TIMES FASTER! Only $14.95/ month - visit www.juno.com to sign up today! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 17, 2004 Report Share Posted June 17, 2004 Cristey, Cody is on Zoloft 75 mg, transitioning to 100 mg, and it has helped. I would say it's better controlled than it's been in a long time. I like the types of therapy you are using for her. Cody and I talked about him writing down the thought, rating it, and writing the opposite/true reality. Finding a good therapist is a challenge, I believe. We had a wonderful one before, but she mainly did cognitive therapy, which didn't really help, so we'll continue on our own until we get a new one. What I notice about trying to work with these thoughts is that when he states them-brings them out in the open, I feel stumped-like, what am I supposed to say now? I guess it's because they are disturbing. I hide it, but I am constantly " putting myself in check " because I don't want to react. So to decide on a rebuttal or rather reinforcement idea to desensitize him, I pause.....like, " Ok, you're gay. " or " Ok, you licked the floor of the bus on a dare. " Inside I'm going, " Oh my gosh-strep, staph, coccidosis, bacteria, viruses, chemicals!! AAAHHH! " Kathy R just rolls them off her tongue, it seems. Maybe it comes with practice!!! Today it was " Mom, I think I'm going to hell because I like rap and hip-hop. " All I could muster was a laugh, especially since I've heard some thoughts that would curl Dahmer's toes. It's not automatic yet. It's a little confusing to me as with cognitive therapy, you are replacing the negative thoughts with reality or positive ones. With this ERP, at least if I have it right, we are reinforcing what the thought is so as to desensitize the fear or anxiety related to the thought. Right? Also, do we pick which ones they tell us-like, not expect them to talk about the more embarassing ones? I'm just thinking out loud. You can see-I'm very new and unversed in this. Thanks again for your feedback, Cristey. Take care, in So IL Re: support with ERP , Hang tight! Bless your heart--I can sooo relate. How old is your son? What med and dosage and how long? Is he on an anti-anxiety? The anti-anxiety has helped Lexi function and now she can do some ERP. For the month of May, she literally could not do chores, school, play with friends, etc. Since she has improved at coping (with the help of medicine), I'm having her 'do life'...I have to continue to remind her to do her tasks, etc. Before OCD she was diligent and self-reliant, but she has regressed considerably...understandably. It seems she wants to 'get stuck' in activities...read all day, fish, piddle outside, linger over lunch with book, play with her hair. Whatever the activity, she has trouble switching gears! So in steps Mom to keep her moving from task to task. In a way I see this as a type of ERP. She is writing her thoughts and rating their intensity, reading a script of her thoughts exaggerated into a tape recorder, listening to it then reading or typing the script. She is also doing ATT where we set up 'white noise' in four corners of the room and she listens to one then another randomly attempting to tune out the others...to work on gear shifting. I don't know if these dogs will hunt, but we're going to try until we find a good therapist. blessyou, cristey TX On Thu, 17 Jun 2004 11:00:39 -0500 " " writes: > Cristey, > My son initially would have the thought, look anxious, come tell me > he's having OCD, and then confess. After he confessed, he would > have no release of anxiety-instead it would be worse, because it > upset him, having to tell me the thoughts. There seems to be no > relief of the anxiety with any kind of action on his part. When we > begun the ERP (along with medication), we decided he should not > confess to me-because that could be the compulsion. (Again, we've > not had formal therapy yet utilizing ERP-just CBT in the past.) I'm > not sure I'm correct in assuming the confession is the compulsion in > that it doesn't help him, but I'm not sure. We'll eventually > probably be directed to a therapist, but for now, I want to be > working with him while the medication is helping him, because that's > when I have heard they are " ripe for the picking " . Since the > anxiety is controlled somewhat with the medication, I know that's > the time to be working on the thoughts.....just don't know how to do > that without knowing what the thoughts are. > > Anyway, sounds like you and I are at the same point-wanting to help > and love them without reinforcing the compulsion. We may try the > writing it out. > > Thanks so much for your input. > > Take care, > in Southern Illinois ________________________________________________________________ The best thing to hit the Internet in years - Juno SpeedBand! Surf the Web up to FIVE TIMES FASTER! Only $14.95/ month - visit www.juno.com to sign up today! Our list archives, bookmarks, files, and chat feature may be accessed at: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group// . Our list advisors are Gail B. , Ed.D., Tamar Chansky, Ph.D., Aureen Pinto Wagner, Ph.D., and Dan Geller, M.D. Our list moderators are Birkhan, Castle, Fowler, Kathy Hammes, Joye, Kathy Mac, Gail Pesses, Kathy , Vivian Stembridge, and Jackie Stout. Subscription issues or suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins, list owner, at louisharkins@... , louisharkins@... , louisharkins@... . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 18, 2004 Report Share Posted June 18, 2004 On Thu, 17 Jun 2004 20:01:30 -0500 " " writes: > What I notice about trying to work with these thoughts is that when > he states them-brings them out in the open, I feel stumped-like, > what am I supposed to say now? I guess it's because they are > disturbing. I hide it, but I am constantly " putting myself in > check " because I don't want to react. So to decide on a rebuttal or > rather reinforcement idea to desensitize him, I pause.....like, " Ok, > you're gay. " or " Ok, you licked the floor of the bus on a dare. " > Inside I'm going, " Oh my gosh-strep, staph, coccidosis, bacteria, > viruses, chemicals!! AAAHHH! " Kathy R just rolls them off her > tongue, it seems. Maybe it comes with practice!!! , I split my gut reading this!! Thanks for the comic relief. I too sometimes inwardly debate the appropriate thing to say when my dd says something really bizarre. While hugging me (like she was a necklace!) the other night, dd told me she wasn't sure if she loved me and that she felt apathy toward me. I could not contain my laughter! I've been this child's lifeline for two months now. > Today it was " Mom, I think I'm going to hell because I like rap and > hip-hop. " All I could muster was a laugh, especially since I've > heard some thoughts that would curl Dahmer's toes. It's not > automatic yet. It's a little confusing to me as with cognitive > therapy, you are replacing the negative thoughts with reality or > positive ones. With this ERP, at least if I have it right, we are > reinforcing what the thought is so as to desensitize the fear or > anxiety related to the thought. Right? I'd like to hear KathyR's (fount of wisdom--I'm thankful for her posts!) comments, b/c sometimes these two seem a bit contradictory. Here's my take: In CBT, the objective is to help the child see that 'they're just thoughts that have no meaning'. In ERP, by exaggerating the thoughts, you almost 'poke fun' at them b/c again they are just thoughts that have no meaning. I've heard comments such as inflate the thoughts so the child will realize that the thoughts are not so horrible if they do come true. Well with my child...they would be horrible for her if they came true b/c 'she thinks she evil', etc. This confuses me. Kathy? > Also, do we pick which ones they tell us-like, not expect them to > talk about the more embarassing ones? Mydd, open book, demonstrative and communicative, tells all. So I'm not sure, but I would encourage him to spit'em out...so you can help carry his ocd bag of tricks...again I'm not sure? If he's prepuberty, he might be more inclined to share as compared to being a teen. How old is he, ? God Bless you...keep up fight! cristey ________________________________________________________________ The best thing to hit the Internet in years - Juno SpeedBand! Surf the Web up to FIVE TIMES FASTER! Only $14.95/ month - visit www.juno.com to sign up today! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 18, 2004 Report Share Posted June 18, 2004 > > I'd like to hear KathyR's (fount of wisdom--I'm thankful for her > posts!) > comments, b/c sometimes these two seem a bit contradictory. > Here's my take: In CBT, the objective is to help the child see that > 'they're just thoughts that have no meaning'. In ERP, by exaggerating > the thoughts, you almost 'poke fun' at them b/c again they are just > thoughts that have no meaning. I've heard comments such as inflate > the > thoughts so the child will realize that the thoughts are not so > horrible > if they do come true. Well with my child...they would be horrible for > her if they came true b/c 'she thinks she evil', etc. This confuses > me. > Kathy? > I'm not Kathy, but here's how I came to understand it. My son (7) mostly responds well to mostly to at bossing back the obsessions and ignoring them. That works well for the obsessions that have a compulsive component including ones that have an avoidance component. So, it is effective for him to say, " I know we all have the same germs in our family and that's just an obsession, so I can use the same bathroom as my sister. " But, for him, that doesn't work when he has obsessive thoughts, images, or sounds. (For him the images are actually much worse than the thoughts). For example, he has had a reoccurring thought that he was actually responsible for the death of a young girl around here that was kidnapped and murdered. There's no action he can take to counteract the obsessive thought, and saying, " It's just OCD and I'm the boss and I'm not going to think about it " is a little bit like saying, " Whatever I do, I'm not going to think about a pink elephant. " Even for a person without OCD, it is pretty much impossible to make yourself *not* think about something. What we've found effective is taking control of the thought and changing it, usually by making it worse than it was. Yes, it sounds gruesome, but what we usually do is I remind him *once* that the thought is OCD and we both know that he is a very nice, loving child who hasn't and wouldn't hurt anyone (not multiple reassurances, but I do feel like it is important to remind him of this), and that OCD wants this thought to bother him and the best way to make it go away is to keep thinking about it until it doesn't bother him. Then we joke about how I'm going to have to visit my son, the mass murder, in jail. The same thing with the disturbing images. (This was a lot harder to figure out, I'm pretty sure it was someone on this list who suggested it). He can sometimes banish them by making them silly, but usually what works best is to make them even worse. Jeanne jwestpha@... NBCT - Exceptional Needs (2000) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 20, 2004 Report Share Posted June 20, 2004 Cristey- My son is 9 1/2. Yeah, I'm starting to believe that it is appropriate for him to tell me what his thoughts are. Lately, he had known a big secret: My husband bought my soon-to-be-16-year-old daughter a car for her birthday. It's been hidden in her grandfather's garage, and we have been planning a huge unveiling. Unfortunately my son had told my daughter's best friend. (Probably too big a secret for such a little boy.) He approached me and said, " Mom, my OCD is bothering me. " I said, " Ok, what is it? " Then he told me. Of course, we weren't happy, but I got over the disappointment and reassured him it wasn't the end of the world, and this was something I should have known right away, so I could fix it and smooth it over. Anyway, that was most likely just a guilty conscience rather than OCD. It is so difficult to me to discipline/direct/and dissuade my OCD son from negative behavior, because of the things he actually does and follows through when he's compelled to do so. In reference his comfort in disclosing the obsessions. If I tell him that it's better for him if we talk about it, he'll tell me, so he's pretty open about it, although not extremely comfortable. OCD seems to be an evolving entity to me. Just when I think we're on a roll with fighting the best, it " develops pinchers and teeth " . Thanks so much for this dialog. It has been so helpful to me. in Southern Illinois Re: support with ERP On Thu, 17 Jun 2004 20:01:30 -0500 " " writes: > What I notice about trying to work with these thoughts is that when > he states them-brings them out in the open, I feel stumped-like, > what am I supposed to say now? I guess it's because they are > disturbing. I hide it, but I am constantly " putting myself in > check " because I don't want to react. So to decide on a rebuttal or > rather reinforcement idea to desensitize him, I pause.....like, " Ok, > you're gay. " or " Ok, you licked the floor of the bus on a dare. " > Inside I'm going, " Oh my gosh-strep, staph, coccidosis, bacteria, > viruses, chemicals!! AAAHHH! " Kathy R just rolls them off her > tongue, it seems. Maybe it comes with practice!!! , I split my gut reading this!! Thanks for the comic relief. I too sometimes inwardly debate the appropriate thing to say when my dd says something really bizarre. While hugging me (like she was a necklace!) the other night, dd told me she wasn't sure if she loved me and that she felt apathy toward me. I could not contain my laughter! I've been this child's lifeline for two months now. > Today it was " Mom, I think I'm going to hell because I like rap and > hip-hop. " All I could muster was a laugh, especially since I've > heard some thoughts that would curl Dahmer's toes. It's not > automatic yet. It's a little confusing to me as with cognitive > therapy, you are replacing the negative thoughts with reality or > positive ones. With this ERP, at least if I have it right, we are > reinforcing what the thought is so as to desensitize the fear or > anxiety related to the thought. Right? I'd like to hear KathyR's (fount of wisdom--I'm thankful for her posts!) comments, b/c sometimes these two seem a bit contradictory. Here's my take: In CBT, the objective is to help the child see that 'they're just thoughts that have no meaning'. In ERP, by exaggerating the thoughts, you almost 'poke fun' at them b/c again they are just thoughts that have no meaning. I've heard comments such as inflate the thoughts so the child will realize that the thoughts are not so horrible if they do come true. Well with my child...they would be horrible for her if they came true b/c 'she thinks she evil', etc. This confuses me. Kathy? > Also, do we pick which ones they tell us-like, not expect them to > talk about the more embarassing ones? Mydd, open book, demonstrative and communicative, tells all. So I'm not sure, but I would encourage him to spit'em out...so you can help carry his ocd bag of tricks...again I'm not sure? If he's prepuberty, he might be more inclined to share as compared to being a teen. How old is he, ? God Bless you...keep up fight! cristey ________________________________________________________________ The best thing to hit the Internet in years - Juno SpeedBand! Surf the Web up to FIVE TIMES FASTER! Only $14.95/ month - visit www.juno.com to sign up today! Our list archives, bookmarks, files, and chat feature may be accessed at: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group// . Our list advisors are Gail B. , Ed.D., Tamar Chansky, Ph.D., Aureen Pinto Wagner, Ph.D., and Dan Geller, M.D. Our list moderators are Birkhan, Castle, Fowler, Kathy Hammes, Joye, Kathy Mac, Gail Pesses, Kathy , Vivian Stembridge, and Jackie Stout. Subscription issues or suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins, list owner, at louisharkins@... , louisharkins@... , louisharkins@... . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.