Re: Finding the right therapist

[Guest guest]

Hi Ellen,

I have typed a response three times and the computer has froze each time! augh!!

In brief (!!) how about you accessing the present therapist for ongoing family

support while your daughter goes to the other therapist for individual therapy?

You are very fortunate to have a choice of therapists, btw!!

Sometimes, as I 've written before, we fall into traps of doing too much. You

have written that: " We have to do all the work for her. " Maybe you all so eager

for therapy to work that you are more commited to change than your daughter?

Of course its a bonus when everyone gets along, but you are a consumer of the

therapists services and may need to set short and long term expectations.

I hope this helps, wendy, in canada

musicgirl9395 wrote: Hi,

We are having a hard time finding the right therapist. We have a

therapist who has a great relationship with our daughter, but the progress is

really slow. Our daughter's OCD is manageable, but it

could be better. And she hasn't learned how to handle it by herself

yet.

We found another therapist who has conquered OCD himself. We saw him

once and he is really direct and our daughter felt he could be really

helpful. What do we do? We really love our current therapist and

don't want to lose her. I think she is so helpful in so many ways

and has saved us in so many situations. I am just alittle impatient to get rid

of this OCD! She knows we saw this other therapist once. But I feel like I

want her to go more times to see how she handles a more direct, tough approach.

But I don't want my daughter to lose her wonderful relationship with this other

therapist. She really trusts

her and they really care about each other.

What kind of therapy has been most successful for you? What should I

do? What do I tell the therapist? Thanks for any input! Ellen

---------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

Ellen,

Been there-having a wonderful therapist, but feeling the need to see someone

else. You GOTTA do what's best for your son. Your therapist will most likely

understand. AND, you don't have to cut the ties, so to speak.

Good Luck!

from SO IL

Finding the right therapist

Hi,

We are having a hard time finding the right therapist. We have a

therapist who has a great relationship with our daughter, but the

progress is really slow. Our daughter's OCD is manageable, but it

could be better. And she hasn't learned how to handle it by herself

yet. We have to do all the work for her.

We found another therapist who has conquered OCD himself. We saw him

once and he is really direct and our daughter felt he could be really

helpful. What do we do? We really love our current therapist and

don't want to lose her. I think she is so helpful in so many ways

and has saved us in so many situations. I am just alittle impatient

to get rid of this OCD! She knows we saw this other therapist once.

But I feel like I want her to go more times to see how she handles a

more direct, tough approach. But I don't want my daughter to lose her

wonderful relationship with this other therapist. She really trusts

her and they really care about each other.

What kind of therapy has been most successful for you? What should I

do? What do I tell the therapist? Thanks for any input! Ellen

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[Guest guest]

Winston <musicgirl9395@...: I am really wanting to try this new

therapist because we have been with this other one for years, and although it

has been helpful, OCD is still there and strong.

I'm going to answer this with my social work therapist hat! Not knowing the

background to why you orginially sought out your present therapist, I would say

that if O and C's is still not being addressed by your daughter, I may be time

to consider a change.

I like to recommend to my clients that there should be a change in their

behaviours/recognition of how ocd effects their life, even at a minor level, by

the 3 - 5 session mark. Treatment of OCD is not generally long term, unless of

course there are other factors such as depression. I tend to suggest trying

treatment without medication as the first stage, however, sometimes anxiety

levels or clinical depression, for example, interfere and therefore a

perscription is necessary. I might recommend a break at that time for the meds

to begin working, and return to treatment when the client feels ready.

So, my thoughts regarding switching therapists is go for the new one and if

after a time you are not satisfied, return to the old, or find another new one!

>What has worked for your son or daughter?

Ellen, each of my kids is unique!! Tom was diagnosed at 12, began real treatment

at 14, finally understood ERP at 16, stopped meds at 18 and is now 20 and happy,

independant and responsible. Adi was diagnosed at 10, found that swallowing meds

made her feel worse, so stopped taking them at 12. She practiced intensive ERP

and continues to do so on an as needed basis. She is 18 and finished high

school, working full time as an assistant manager of a store. Ziv was 7 when she

was diagnosed. She has been on various medications with one 8 month break

destroyed by the tragedies of Sept. 11. She will be 15 in June and we will again

be trying things med free over the summer. She is on a low dose of Effexor after

being prescribed anafranil for some time. She is more of an obsessive. Their

dear father is finally on a med cocktail that is working. ERP is practiced

regularly by us, especially if we can have some fun with it! At times he says

the dog is dirty so we will pat the dog and then touch

him and watch him squirm, screach and try and run away - he knows its part of

the game and plays it up - in the end we always win!

My thoughts are always 'whatever works'!

Take care, wendy

---------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

Hi Ellen, I hope you don't mind my jumping in. You just tell the therapist

what you've written here. You don't need to feel embarrassed about wanting

effective therapy for your daughter. Therapists as a group IMO tend to be

nice, supportive, helpful but that is not the same thing as being effective

with CBT/ERP. Perhaps you could see this therapist for general/family

support and counseling (apparently what she does well) and the new one for

CBT/ERP.

We had a therapist for awhile who was very nice and supportive. She had

said she was experienced with CBT for OCD. I really liked her and Kel did

too, but after a few visits she told me she would not do CBT/ERP with my

young daughter because she was afraid she would mess it up with such a

little girl!

Effective CBT/ERP really made a huge difference in my child's quality of

life. I'm talking going from several severe OCD intrusions per day to only

a couple, or even having days together go by when nothing is " heard " from

OCD. She also takes Zoloft which probably reduced her symptoms by 25%

initially, but then therapy knocked another 50% or so off.

Take care,

Kathy R. in Indiana

----- Original Message -----

> ,

> Thanks for your response to my therapist dilemma. I really am in a

quandry. I am really wanting to try this new therapist because we have been

with this other one for years, and although it has been helpful, OCD is

still there and strong. It is manageable, but I want her to feel in charge

of it. And she doesn not! Our current therapist thinks it is OK to see the

other every now and then. How do I tell her that I want to try it intensely

for a while? It is further complicated by the fact that we get a HUGE

discount currently. THe money is not making our decision, but what if it

doesn't work out with this new one?

> What has worked for your son or daughter? Thanks. Enjoy your day!

Ellen

>

> w birkhan wrote:

>

> Hi Ellen,

>

> I have typed a response three times and the computer has froze each time!

augh!!

>

> In brief (!!) how about you accessing the present therapist for ongoing

family support while your daughter goes to the other therapist for

individual therapy? You are very fortunate to have a choice of therapists,

btw!!

>

> Sometimes, as I 've written before, we fall into traps of doing too much.

You have written that: " We have to do all the work for her. " Maybe you all

so eager for therapy to work that you are more commited to change than your

daughter?

> Of course its a bonus when everyone gets along, but you are a consumer of

the therapists services and may need to set short and long term

expectations.

>

> I hope this helps, wendy, in canada

>

> musicgirl9395 wrote: Hi,

> We are having a hard time finding the right therapist. We have a

> therapist who has a great relationship with our daughter, but the progress

is really slow. Our daughter's OCD is manageable, but it

> could be better. And she hasn't learned how to handle it by herself

> yet.

> We found another therapist who has conquered OCD himself. We saw him

> once and he is really direct and our daughter felt he could be really

> helpful. What do we do? We really love our current therapist and

> don't want to lose her. I think she is so helpful in so many ways

> and has saved us in so many situations. I am just alittle impatient to get

rid of this OCD! She knows we saw this other therapist once. But I feel like

I want her to go more times to see how she handles a more direct, tough

approach. But I don't want my daughter to lose her wonderful relationship

with this other therapist. She really trusts

> her and they really care about each other.

> What kind of therapy has been most successful for you? What should I

> do? What do I tell the therapist? Thanks for any input! Ellen