Guest guest Posted March 31, 2004 Report Share Posted March 31, 2004 Peggy, I think that's similar to something my son does. I had contemplated painting some rocking chairs on the porch and said it out loud one time. My son, who was 7 at the time, got extremely upset and started begging me-please don't paint the chairs. I told him I'd think about it-that it wasn't any big deal, but he just fixated on the idea I might do that. He said he was " used to " the chairs that way and did not want me to paint them. He agonized over it for so long, we just decided against it. I have another child who doesn't have OCD, who cried and cried when we cut an old " weed " tree down in our yard. She said she loved that tree.......I'm not sure it's directly related to OCD, but perhaps it is. That is truly interesting. in So. IL Mourning >His rages were no where near the usual " tantrum. " They would >last for up to an hour or more, with kicking, biting, throwing things, >banging >his head against the wall or floor, screaming at the top of his lungs etc I am wondering if anyone's child mourns. If he loses something, or a special toy breaks, will mourn for days. We have at least two days when he cries constantly, doesn't eat, can't concentrate on anything but his grief, etc. until he moves to a more solemn time lasting several days when he is uncommunicative and sad. I tried approaching it from a " people are more important than things " viewpoint, which didn't help; as well as allowing him what I considered to be a reasonable period of grief before asking him to move on. His mourning sounds a lot like what others have described as rages, but turned inward instead of outward. Peggy Our list archives, bookmarks, files, and chat feature may be accessed at: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group// . Our list advisors are Gail B. , Ed.D., Tamar Chansky, Ph.D., Aureen Pinto Wagner, Ph.D., and Dan Geller, M.D. Our list moderators are Birkhan, Castle, Fowler, Kathy Hammes, Joye, Kathy Mac, Gail Pesses, Kathy , Vivian Stembridge, and Jackie Stout. Subscription issues or suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins, list owner, at louisharkins@... , louisharkins@... , louisharkins@... .. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 31, 2004 Report Share Posted March 31, 2004 Peggy, Sounds like he's just an extremely sensitive child emotionally. I can't recall his age, but he'll probably eventually grow out of this pretty much. I say this partly from my own childhood. > >His rages were no where near the usual " tantrum. " They would > >last for up to an hour or more, with kicking, biting, throwing things, > >banging > >his head against the wall or floor, screaming at the top of his lungs etc > > I am wondering if anyone's child mourns. If he loses something, or a > special toy breaks, will mourn for days. We have at least two > days when he cries constantly, doesn't eat, can't concentrate on anything > but his grief, etc. until he moves to a more solemn time lasting several > days when he is uncommunicative and sad. I tried approaching it from a > " people are more important than things " viewpoint, which didn't help; as > well as allowing him what I considered to be a reasonable period of grief > before asking him to move on. His mourning sounds a lot like what others > have described as rages, but turned inward instead of outward. > > Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 31, 2004 Report Share Posted March 31, 2004 This is exactly how my child reacted to any small change of the sorts you mention. Kids in general like the comfort of stability and sameness, but kids with OCD may take this to a disordered, unlivable degree. My daughter had an overnight onset of OCD and this behavior started concurrently with it so I've always assumed it was OCD-related, a " just right, just so " compulsion for sameness. This extreme distress over small, insignificant changes has lessened with treatment (SSRI) and a bit of maturity (she's now 10) but for a very long time it just about ruled our lives and had constantly to be taken into account. She still does best when changes or rearrangements or new purchases are mentioned in advance rather than " sprung " on her. ERP for this is of course to make small, agreed-upon changes and have your child tolerate the negative feeling this causes until it fades. Take care, Kathy R. in Indiana ----- Original Message ----- > Peggy, > > I think that's similar to something my son does. > > I had contemplated painting some rocking chairs on the porch and said it out loud one time. My son, who was 7 at the time, got extremely upset and started begging me-please don't paint the chairs. I told him I'd think about it-that it wasn't any big deal, but he just fixated on the idea I might do that. He said he was " used to " the chairs that way and did not want me to paint them. He agonized over it for so long, we just decided against it. I have another child who doesn't have OCD, who cried and cried when we cut an old " weed " tree down in our yard. She said she loved that tree.......I'm not sure it's directly related to OCD, but perhaps it is. That is truly interesting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 1, 2004 Report Share Posted April 1, 2004 Hi Peggy, my OCD child has extreme and deeply-felt emotions generally. She is very empathetic with others, and is frequently " moved to tears " by stately music, a sad plot twist in a movie or book, and so on. She is still mourning her dog who was killed nearly two years ago, and a broken friendship with another girl from three years ago, though they are not everyday issues anymore. She made a good friend at camp last summer and sobbed the whole way home (3 hours!) when her session was over, for months afterward she couldn't talk about things she did at camp without thinking of this friend and then tearing up. She also tends to " disasterize " small problems such as breaking a toy or losing something. She'll get stuck on the thing, obsess about it--to me though this is more OCDish than the mourning/grieving you speak of in your son. Has he always done this, or is it " new " with OCD and/or medication? Have you mentioned it to his doctor? Has he been assessed for depression, which is a common comorbid disorder with OCD? Kathy R. in Indiana ----- Original Message ----- > >His rages were no where near the usual " tantrum. " They would > >last for up to an hour or more, with kicking, biting, throwing things, > >banging > >his head against the wall or floor, screaming at the top of his lungs etc > > I am wondering if anyone's child mourns. If he loses something, or a > special toy breaks, will mourn for days. We have at least two > days when he cries constantly, doesn't eat, can't concentrate on anything > but his grief, etc. until he moves to a more solemn time lasting several > days when he is uncommunicative and sad. I tried approaching it from a > " people are more important than things " viewpoint, which didn't help; as > well as allowing him what I considered to be a reasonable period of grief > before asking him to move on. His mourning sounds a lot like what others > have described as rages, but turned inward instead of outward. > > Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 2, 2004 Report Share Posted April 2, 2004 >Has he always done this, or is it " new " with OCD and/or medication? Have >you mentioned it to his doctor? Has he been assessed for depression, which >is a common comorbid disorder with OCD? No, this is nothing new. He's had OCD since about age 4, and the mourning didn't start until well after that. It doesn't seem to be better or worse with meds. He hasn't been assessed for depression, our MD is fast on the Rx pad and slow on the assessments and other help, and I didn't really want to go that direction. I am very change-resistant myself. About fifteen years ago I was working for a company that was going to move its offices. I would go from a tiny cubicle I shared with four other people to a windowed office (one of only 10 in the company of 600+) with my own assigned parking place. It was such a huge improvement, but I was so hesitant that the VP put me in charge of the move for our department! It was horrible, but once the move took place, I was much happier. I've always been the type that resists change until it happens, then I'm okay with it. Of course, at the time I had no idea what OCD was. Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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