Re: Just curious

[Guest guest]

Hi, Corrina. Ask you son what will happen if he picks the second thing on

the list. Or the last. If he can't do it, it's OCD. If he can do it and not

be distressed then it isn't. As for your other son, I have to say that it does

sound like OCD. We have found that our family has a very strong genetic

tendency toward it. I have it, both of my daughters have it, my dad has it, and

my nephew has it. There are others but we aren't around them as much. I would

look into it if I were you. My youngest daughter was diagnosed first and

when my older daughter had her onset, she didn't tell us for almost a year. She

didn't want to add to our difficulties by making us deal with her problems

too. She also didn't want to be like , who was very difficult. I think

that if your son is telling about these things, he wants you to know so you can

help him. I'm sorry if he has it too. Finding out that Hannah had it was a

pretty big shock to us. I felt sad for quite awhile. Good luck. Kelley in NV

[Guest guest]

Thanks Kellie! I will begin watching my OCD son with his selection of what's

first on a list. I hadn't even thought about menus. I'll have to start

keeping tract and see if I can notice him doing it. I really didn't know he did

this until he told the psychologist. If I catch him, I will make another

suggestion from the list. I'll be able to see how he handles the suggestion.

Does it cause him anxiety or not???

With my other son and his promise making, it's really perplexing at this

point. He definitely doesn't want to be making the promises. It's not as if he

is trying to set appropriate goals for himself. Today, he came to me twice

about his promises. He told me tonight that he promised in his head that he

would fall asleep at bedtime in one minute. I asked him how he felt about his

promise. He said he didn't like it because he knew it would be almost

impossible

for him to fall asleep in a minute. He is concerned about breaking these

promises. I can tell it causes him concern, but I wouldn't say I see anxiety

about it at this point.

Corinna

TX

[Guest guest]

Hi Kelley! I'm really stunned that I hadn't noticed my son always picking

the first thing on lists. I will begin to watch. Then if I notice, I'll be

able to see how he handles it if I suggest he pick something else on the list.

Also, it is very disheartening when you begin to question whether your other

child has OCD too. I'm unaware of anyone else in our family that has OCD.

People accuse my mother and I of having it, but I'm not sure we really do. I

don't believe I say that in denial, but actually in respect for the people that

truly suffer from OCD. I know from watching my son, he can feeled tortured

and trapped by the thoughts that play over and over in his mind. For me, I've

always know I'm a perfectionist. I like things to be clean, neat, and tidy,

but I don't worry about it. I'm unaware of any compulsions I have. I'm keeping

an eye on my younger son. I'm responding to his promise making as if it is

OCD, but at this point, I don't really know. I agree with you, it does seem

like a red flag though.

Corinna

TX

[Guest guest]

----- Original Message -----

> Today in therapy, my son was discussing which band instrument he

> hopes to play in middle school. He listed four different

> instruments. As she chatted with him about this, she asked why he

> picked the clarinet as one of his choices. He told her because it

> was the first instrument listed on the sheet given by the band

> instructor. He told her, " I always try to pick whatever is listed

> first. " I've heard of some people with OCD wanting order, symmetry,

> sameness, etc... I was just curious if this type of behavior could

> possibly be OCD. I didn't realize he did this.

*****Yes many of my OCD child's compulsions had to do with following some

arbitrary " rule " set by OCD rather than making her own choice. She

frequently would follow this sort of rule (compulsion) and not choose her

own preference, taking for example her least-favorite cookie from an offered

tray rather than the chocolate chip which she really wanted. OCD kids in

general have problems with making choices and may have problems feeling they

made the right or correct choice of available options.

> Also, I have another son who has been complaining that he keeps

> making promises in his head. It's obvious he doesn't want to make

> the promises and is concerned when he can't keep them. An example:

> the other day I was playing catch with him. He missed the ball and

> ran after it. When he came back he said, " I did it again. " I asked

> him what he meant. He said, " I promised in my head that I would

> catch the ball before it hit that line in the concrete, but I

> couldn't mom. " On his own, not by my persuasion, he has been

> reporting to me how many promises he makes in his head. Is this

> OCD? He has never been diagnosed and has never shown signs or

> symptoms of OCD before. I know he has some type of anxiety though.

> He is extremely fearful of my older son being out of his sight. If

> Garrett goes outside, he has to go outside, just to keep an eye on

> him. He panics if he doesn't know where his brother is. Does anyone

> have an opinion? Has anyone heard of this promise making.

*****Yes my child has done this, I think it's a fairly common compulsion,

sort of a " magic " ritual to keep everything " safe " or " right " . ( " If I can

catch the ball before it hits the line, Mom won't die " or something

similar.) The promises were almost always near impossible for anyone to

keep or do, usually involving something she had little or no control over

(like the ball bouncing), and did cause her great distress and anxiety when

she couldn't do the thing, because of feeling she or someone she loved was

in danger due to her failing. In a child with an OCD diagnosis I think

without doubt this would be seen as a compulsive ritual. In a child without

OCD, I don't know. I guess if it were me I'd keep an eye and perhaps

consider having him evaluated if his anxiety, panic and OCD-like behaviors

seem to worsen.

Kathy R. in Indiana