Re: touching base (warning - very long)

[Guest guest]

Hi, I'm glad you posted! You've got quite a mix of things to deal

with regarding your son, but it seems to me you're doing a great job

with him. The box for his stuff sounds like a good idea to me.

OCD is difficult to understand since it's not at all logical.

Regarding any obsessive thoughts, I've also wondered if my son (15)

has them. I feel like " something " is going on in his head at times,

but perhaps it's just some mental ritual. He's never been one to

talk about his OCD either. I've asked him about thoughts but I get

no answer, more like a shrug of the shoulders and a " dunno "

or " maybe. " With all the sexual or violent and other thoughts that

can affect some sufferers, I do wonder....

Regarding the writing legibility, my son also has dysgraphia. Hey,

he does his best. He's not motivated on his own enough to use the

computer for work. (that might be one good obsession to have...!)

's teachers have sometimes had him read to them what he's

written. Some of them can actually read it pretty well and I praise

them for it! Did your son have other gross or fine motor skill

problems? Mine did. I hope the teachers aren't commenting to your

son about his writing?! If so, they need to stop! And if they

continue to mention it at all, call the school psychologist and have

him/her speak to them. I'm glad the school has been so supportive

overall.

Well, again, I think you are doing one terrific job with your son!

You're getting him all the supports he needs (psych, school...), he's

gotten OT, you work on things at home....what more can you possibly

do??? He's lucky to have you for a mom!

Keep us updated on you, him, school...! And how the box works!

single mom, 3 sons

, 15, with OCD, dysgraphia and HFA/Aspergers

> I've been wanting to post for a while. It has been a long time

> since my introductory post. I just feel so behind the rest of the

> posters in understanding my son's OCD. DS has difficulty throwing

> out some things. Other than that he is just obsessional. He seems

> to get stuck on thoughts or ideas. What he gets stuck on isn't

> always consistent except for chosing his clothes and getting ready

> in the morning. Boy we used to have huge tantrums and fights about

> that, before I was aware that he has OCD. I can't tell if he has

> poor insight about his OCD or if he is just secretive about his

> thoughts (a concept that his psychiatrist offered). He is on

> generic prozac and that has helped a lot. He will still get stuck

> on ideas, but it isn't as disruptive as things were before. His

[Guest guest]

Thanks for responding Chris. My son resonds exactly the same way

your son does when I ask him about his stuck thoughts. He also has

gross and fine motor issues that were improved, but not eliminated

with OT.

Dealing with all of this is the most difficult thing that I ever

have done. The path seems so unclear, especially since I have to be

a super sleuth in just figuring my son out. My friends and family

are supportive, but have no idea about the reality of this. My

brother doesn't even ask about it. I really appreciate your

support. It is very needed and welcome. Thanks-

-- In , " "

<@h...> wrote:

> Hi, I'm glad you posted! You've got quite a mix of things to deal

> with regarding your son, but it seems to me you're doing a great

job

> with him. The box for his stuff sounds like a good idea to me.

>

> OCD is difficult to understand since it's not at all logical.

> Regarding any obsessive thoughts, I've also wondered if my son

(15)

> has them. I feel like " something " is going on in his head at

times,

> but perhaps it's just some mental ritual. He's never been one to

> talk about his OCD either. I've asked him about thoughts but I

get

> no answer, more like a shrug of the shoulders and a " dunno "

> or " maybe. " With all the sexual or violent and other thoughts

that

> can affect some sufferers, I do wonder....

>

> Regarding the writing legibility, my son also has dysgraphia.

Hey,

> he does his best. He's not motivated on his own enough to use the

> computer for work. (that might be one good obsession to

have...!)

> 's teachers have sometimes had him read to them what he's

> written. Some of them can actually read it pretty well and I

praise

> them for it! Did your son have other gross or fine motor skill

> problems? Mine did. I hope the teachers aren't commenting to

your

> son about his writing?! If so, they need to stop! And if they

> continue to mention it at all, call the school psychologist and

have

> him/her speak to them. I'm glad the school has been so supportive

> overall.

>

> Well, again, I think you are doing one terrific job with your

son!

> You're getting him all the supports he needs (psych, school...),

he's

> gotten OT, you work on things at home....what more can you

possibly

> do??? He's lucky to have you for a mom!

>

> Keep us updated on you, him, school...! And how the box works!

>

>

> single mom, 3 sons

> , 15, with OCD, dysgraphia and HFA/Aspergers

>

>

>

> > I've been wanting to post for a while. It has been a long time

> > since my introductory post. I just feel so behind the rest of

the

> > posters in understanding my son's OCD. DS has difficulty

throwing

> > out some things. Other than that he is just obsessional. He

seems

> > to get stuck on thoughts or ideas. What he gets stuck on isn't

> > always consistent except for chosing his clothes and getting

ready

> > in the morning. Boy we used to have huge tantrums and fights

about

> > that, before I was aware that he has OCD. I can't tell if he

has

> > poor insight about his OCD or if he is just secretive about his

> > thoughts (a concept that his psychiatrist offered). He is on

> > generic prozac and that has helped a lot. He will still get

stuck

> > on ideas, but it isn't as disruptive as things were before. His

[Guest guest]

Does your son have an IEP? If he does, have the school district supply him

with an Alphasmart, which is kind of like a laptop computer. It is a very common

accomodation for children with handwriting problems. My daughter has used one

on and off for two years, and it has helped her get over some real hurdles. I

don't remember how old your son is, but if he is old enough to learn to type,

this might be a big help.

I think your idea of putting all his things in a box or trunk is a great

idea. It will help him gradually learn to limit his " stuff " . Having him choose

his

clothes at night is also a good plan. Anything to limit the morning stress!

One thing a parent does not need is additional stress coming from the school.

If you are in the public schools, make sure you have an IEP for him, and then

make sure it is being implemented. Schools often ignore them if not

pressured. A great book to help you with school related issues is Teaching the

Tiger by

M. Dornbush and S. Pruitt. It is full of specific suggestions for dealing

with children with OCD and related issues.

Best wishes,

in NV

[Guest guest]

Hi there. I just read your post about your son and felt I wanted to

respond. I have 2 boys, 1- 9 yrs. and 1 5yrs. My older one was recently

diagnosed with OCD (hoarding) and my 5 yo was diagnosed with high

functioning autism last year. I feel that I can kind of relate to your

situation. I know the frustration you feel regarding educators

understanding your sons needs. My 5yo is in an integrated pre-school

classroom which has helped him to make a lot of progress. He gets speech

and OT 3 times a week and has a special ed teacher working with him

everyday facilitating social interaction. He is very high functioning

with no language difficulties. His needs are those which are the

hallmarks of autism: social interaction and processing. I can

understand the worry you must feel and it is really hard to talk to

anyone unless they have a child that has similar needs. My 9 yo is

actually doing great, he just doesn't like to throw anything away and it

causes him a significant amount of stress to do it. However, at this

point, it is not having any impact on his ability to function at school

(knock on wood). He's doing really great in school and has many

interests outside of school (soccer, football, karate, art). He is

however, an extreme perfectionist who imposes an awful lot of stress upon

himself to do things perfectly. I feel like you. I'm not too

comfortable with his OCD yet and am desperately trying to find info

specific to hoarding, but as you probably have found out, there isn't a

whole lot out there about hoarding in children. Have you talked to your

son's therapist about the box/chest idea for keeping things? I like that

idea and might give it a try. My son has a trash can in his room which

he throws things out in. But it's his way of holding on to them because

he will not empty the trash can. But maybe if I tell him we'll take a

picture of his things before he throws them out, it might be easier for

him. He does try to throw things out but it takes forever for him to

throw away a candy wrapper. He says he'll never see it again. He is

just starting CBT and I'm hoping that it will be enough since his

condition isn't severe, at least not yet anyway (did I say knock on

wood). Please feel free to contact me if you'd like someone to talk to.

We all need support.

[Guest guest]

My daughter loves her Alphasmart. She didn't hesitate to use it last year,

but was a little shy about it this year. Her teacher got a second one and

offered them to the whole class. Before we knew it, everyone else was using them

and

my daughter couldn't get to them! We eventually had to have the teacher

intervene so Annie could use one when she needed to!

Last year the other kids were just jealous and everyone wanted one. .They

asked why she got one and she said she had trouble writing. No one said much

more

about it. My daughter has told everyone about her OCD/ADHD/TS and says noone

has ever made a comment about it. I think because she was so open about it,

there was no room for teasing.(not yet, anyway)

Good luck and best wishes,

in NV

[Guest guest]

Thanks for your suggestions. I like the idea of the Alphasmart. I

don't think that my son would use it. He reacts very negatively

when he feels different from his classmates. He had a hard time

when his OT just wanted him to try pencil grips! I'll keep it in

mind for the future. Did your daughter have any hesitation about

using it?

My son does have an IEP, but it doesn't include his OCD issues yet.

He was just recently diagnosed. We had an initial meeting to revise

the IEP and made some changes, but the district wanted to meet again

after his medications had a chance to work. We should be meeting

again soon. I'm going to get the book you recommended.

Thanks for your advice,

Becky

- In , efowle@a... wrote:

> Does your son have an IEP? If he does, have the school district

supply him

> with an Alphasmart, which is kind of like a laptop computer. It is

a very common

> accomodation for children with handwriting problems. My daughter

has used one

> on and off for two years, and it has helped her get over some real

hurdles. I

> don't remember how old your son is, but if he is old enough to

learn to type,

> this might be a big help.

>

> I think your idea of putting all his things in a box or trunk is a

great

> idea. It will help him gradually learn to limit his " stuff " .

Having him choose his

> clothes at night is also a good plan. Anything to limit the

morning stress!

>

> One thing a parent does not need is additional stress coming from

the school.

> If you are in the public schools, make sure you have an IEP for

him, and then

> make sure it is being implemented. Schools often ignore them if

not

> pressured. A great book to help you with school related issues is

Teaching the Tiger by

> M. Dornbush and S. Pruitt. It is full of specific suggestions for

dealing

> with children with OCD and related issues.

>

> Best wishes,

> in NV

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks for your suggestions. I like the idea of the Alphasmart. I

don't think that my son would use it. He reacts very negatively

when he feels different from his classmates. He had a hard time

when his OT just wanted him to try pencil grips! I'll keep it in

mind for the future. Did your daughter have any hesitation about

using it?

My son does have an IEP, but it doesn't include his OCD issues yet.

He was just recently diagnosed. We had an initial meeting to revise

the IEP and made some changes, but the district wanted to meet again

after his medications had a chance to work. We should be meeting

again soon. I'm going to get the book you recommended.

Thanks for your advice,

Becky

- In , efowle@a... wrote:

> Does your son have an IEP? If he does, have the school district

supply him

> with an Alphasmart, which is kind of like a laptop computer. It is

a very common

> accomodation for children with handwriting problems. My daughter

has used one

> on and off for two years, and it has helped her get over some real

hurdles. I

> don't remember how old your son is, but if he is old enough to

learn to type,

> this might be a big help.

>

> I think your idea of putting all his things in a box or trunk is a

great

> idea. It will help him gradually learn to limit his " stuff " .

Having him choose his

> clothes at night is also a good plan. Anything to limit the

morning stress!

>

> One thing a parent does not need is additional stress coming from

the school.

> If you are in the public schools, make sure you have an IEP for

him, and then

> make sure it is being implemented. Schools often ignore them if

not

> pressured. A great book to help you with school related issues is

Teaching the Tiger by

> M. Dornbush and S. Pruitt. It is full of specific suggestions for

dealing

> with children with OCD and related issues.

>

> Best wishes,

> in NV

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

The idea for the storage box and pictures for hoarding actually came

from my son's therapist. We are going to try putting things away

this weekend. I'll let you know how it goes. One thing that my son

does to avoid throwing things out is to give them to his brother and

then put them in his brothers room. I still can't throw them away,

however.

I already feel better from having posted and receiving so many

responses! I appreciate all of the support

Becky

- In , idamanoli167@j... wrote:

> Hi there. I just read your post about your son and felt I wanted

to

> respond. I have 2 boys, 1- 9 yrs. and 1 5yrs. My older one was

recently

> diagnosed with OCD (hoarding) and my 5 yo was diagnosed with high

> functioning autism last year. I feel that I can kind of relate to

your

> situation. I know the frustration you feel regarding educators

> understanding your sons needs. My 5yo is in an integrated pre-

school

> classroom which has helped him to make a lot of progress. He gets

speech

> and OT 3 times a week and has a special ed teacher working with him

> everyday facilitating social interaction. He is very high

functioning

> with no language difficulties. His needs are those which are the

> hallmarks of autism: social interaction and processing. I can

> understand the worry you must feel and it is really hard to talk to

> anyone unless they have a child that has similar needs. My 9 yo is

> actually doing great, he just doesn't like to throw anything away

and it

> causes him a significant amount of stress to do it. However, at

this

> point, it is not having any impact on his ability to function at

school

> (knock on wood). He's doing really great in school and has many

> interests outside of school (soccer, football, karate, art). He is

> however, an extreme perfectionist who imposes an awful lot of

stress upon

> himself to do things perfectly. I feel like you. I'm not too

> comfortable with his OCD yet and am desperately trying to find info

> specific to hoarding, but as you probably have found out, there

isn't a

> whole lot out there about hoarding in children. Have you talked

to your

> son's therapist about the box/chest idea for keeping things? I

like that

> idea and might give it a try. My son has a trash can in his room

which

> he throws things out in. But it's his way of holding on to them

because

> he will not empty the trash can. But maybe if I tell him we'll

take a

> picture of his things before he throws them out, it might be

easier for

> him. He does try to throw things out but it takes forever for him

to

> throw away a candy wrapper. He says he'll never see it again. He

is

> just starting CBT and I'm hoping that it will be enough since his

> condition isn't severe, at least not yet anyway (did I say knock on

> wood). Please feel free to contact me if you'd like someone to

talk to.

> We all need support.

>