Re: I need HELP before I crash !

[Guest guest]

Hi Sher,

Glad you're looking for another therapist.

Just a thought to throw in - she IS 15 and those teen years can be

rocky anyway (I'm old enough to... or I should be able to... are

typical teen comments).

At any rate, many family members (parents, siblings) can sometimes

find benefit from therapy and/or meds in learning to live with OCD in

their household, along with all the regular stress/problems.

As for parenting, I'm sure you're going a great job. It's just that

teens never think parents are!

single mom, 3 sons

, almost 15, with OCD, dysgraphia and HFA/Aspergers

, nonidentical twin, beginning to get a little mouthy/stubborn

Randall, 18, and glad those really mouthy, " I know it all " years are

past now; OK, just the more mouthy years are past...the " know it all "

is still somewhat there!

> You all haven't heard from me for awhile because Dorothy (My 15 yr

> old) has been doing pretty well. the last therapist was a

> specialist in OCD (so I had heard because he runs an OCD support

> group for adults that I attended once) and really seems to also

know

> his meds well. He added buspar to her zoloft and this has helped

> decrease her anxiety alot. now the only rocky times are around her

> period, or when a family member is sick and she becomes so obsessed

> with catching it. BUT - this psychiatrist would not discuss with

[Guest guest]

Hi,

My daughter is only 12, with OCD, and I mentioned in a recent post

that she is back to therapy, but only as a preventative as my Mom

(who lives with us) just started a battle with breast cancer &

although my child was/is doing great on meds, I thought this might

rock her a bit...anyway,back to your point: I understand our kids

need confidentiality....but they are KIDS and I have in the past

(not this therapst, like youm felt very odd letting my then 10 year

old go in a closed room with an older Dr. for private therapy. I

can't help but remember that we are all humans, not infalliable, and

how can I KNOW that the DR. is making the perfect choices for my

child....clearly, your experience says the DR. was NOT being

completely helpful. Sure, teenagers are tough anyhow (some one

posted that) but they also are quick to get fired up when prompted

and it sounds that your child's dr. might have been doing just that.

So, since we are our child's advocate since they are not fully

mature beings, we need to walk a careful line before giving

them " over " to a Dr. and being excluded from the sessions. I haven't

the answer as to how to do this....just supporting your feelings

that something wasn't " right " or " working " and finding a different

plan. Good luck!

Larissa

> > You all haven't heard from me for awhile because Dorothy (My 15

yr

> > old) has been doing pretty well. the last therapist was a

> > specialist in OCD (so I had heard because he runs an OCD support

> > group for adults that I attended once) and really seems to also

> know

> > his meds well. He added buspar to her zoloft and this has

helped

> > decrease her anxiety alot. now the only rocky times are around

her

> > period, or when a family member is sick and she becomes so

obsessed

> > with catching it. BUT - this psychiatrist would not discuss with

[Guest guest]

Hi Sher, yes I think professional CBT/ERP is essential to lasting recovery

from OCD. It doesn't sound like your daughter has yet had effective

CBT/ERP, just the talking/listening type of therapy which does not improve

OCD symptoms.

I encourage you to not abandon the idea of therapy for your daughter

altogether but instead thoroughly " vet " the next therapist to be sure your

child receives expert CBT/ERP, the therapist is up to the task of engaging

your daughter in therapy, and that he or she is open to discussing progress

and etc. with you. Since money is tight, be sure you are getting what you

are paying for!! One problem with the idea of waiting until your child is

older to provide therapy is the fact that the confidentiality issue becomes

much more of a barrier once your child is legally an adult.

Our list advisor Dr. Aureen Pinto-Wagner has advocated university-based

anxiety clinics both because they usually offer the best, most well-trained

therapists but also because they may offer a sliding fee schedule based on

income. If you have a medical center or teaching hospital near you, it may

be worth a call.

There used to be much more discussion on this list about the various meds

parents were taking to cope with the upheaval and stress of living with OCD

in the family. I seem to remember that Effexor had a small but enthusiastic

following :-) In some cases parents come to realize their own disorders

during the process of evaluating and diagnosing their child's problems.

Depression, OCD and other anxiety disorders, and etc. are believed to have a

genetic component.

Finally, therapy for yourself may help you feel better able to cope with the

challenges of the situations your family is in now. We have to take care of

ourselves before we are available and able to take care of and make best

decisions for our kids. It sounds trite but is true.

Take care, good luck,

Kathy R. in Indiana

----- Original Message -----

> You all haven't heard from me for awhile because Dorothy (My 15 yr

> old) has been doing pretty well. the last therapist was a

> specialist in OCD (so I had heard because he runs an OCD support

> group for adults that I attended once) and really seems to also know

> his meds well. He added buspar to her zoloft and this has helped

> decrease her anxiety alot. now the only rocky times are around her

> period, or when a family member is sick and she becomes so obsessed

> with catching it. BUT - this psychiatrist would not discuss with me

> anything that was happening in therapy (confidential, he said), and

> there was never any mention of any behavioral modifications work.

> just a lot of talking and listening, and then my girl would come

> home and criticise our way of parenting based on what " the doctor "

> said. " the doctor says I sould be able to do this...the doctor says

> I am old enough to go...and make my own decisions. " this made for

> much additional friction that I didn't need. We've dumped the doc,

> and will get her rx filled from the family doctor, but now I have to

> search for another therapist who does CBT or ERT, and have it

> covered by insurance, and not drive 2 hours to do so.

> without going into more horrible details about complicated family

> life (which we all have) , what's the general consensus out there?

> Is the therapy really neccessary? Maybe I'M the one who needs

> therapy in order to better parent this wonderful but challenging

> child with OCD and anxiety dosorders. Maybe that would be a better

> use of our money and time, since at this time she is not interested

> in doing any " work " to help herself anyway. then when she's older

> and motivated, put her in therapy.

> PS. I work, my husband works, we have 4 kids, one is autistic, and

> we're poor.

>

> so what do you think? have ny of you gotten tx for yourself, rather

> than your child? sher