Re: School issues

[Guest guest]

Kathy R,

is currently on Lexapro during the day and Seroquel at night. He does

have Xanax in case of panic, but we've been able to take him off of that. (So

far.) I just remember that the lady was coming today to do the FBA. I totally

forgot that. Well, I guess they can't observe him when he's not there, huh?

My dh changed jobs and now we have no insurance. The company he is now

working for requires a 6-month period before starting the insurance. And if we

did

take it, it would cost us $1135/month with them only paying $218 of it. The

insurance I have found that we could basically afford (still a lot) doesn't

allow

for pre-existing conditions for 12 months. If we go ahead and take what they

can give us, it's a higher premium because of . I am applying for FAMIS

for the kids. But I don't know who all will take it. And I made an appointment

with our local mental health center this morning. So he could at least get

treatment, but that isn't until Nov. 12th. And who knows how long it will take

to get a counselor after that. As if I needed more stress!

And no one around me appears to see the seriousness of all of this. That's

the hard part.

Melinda

[Guest guest]

Hi Melinda, don't take 100% of this burden on yourself alone to solve. The

school needs to help solve the problem of your son's school refusal too, and it

is their responsibility to educate him, not yours unless you choose

homeschooling. It will be a team effort to discover what is behind your child's

reluctance to attend class--is he being bullied? Feeling overwhelmed keeping up

with the work? Too many contaminated or otherwise OCD-triggering situations or

things at school? It could be any number of things, and the school should work

with you to identify the problem(s) and help develop a plan to get your child

back in class.

Does your son have an IEP? If so accommodations to address whatever the

problems are discovered to be can be added to smooth his path and remove

obstacles to his regular attendance.

Does your son take an SSRI for OCD? If so he may need a med adjustment, change

or augmentation. If he sees a therapist you may want to schedule an appointment

quickly to address the school problem.

I would just call the case manager back and tell her the truth. School refusal

due to anxiety, bullying and all manner of problems is a fairly common thing for

them to deal with. It is a fact that at 11 years old, you can not bodily take

him to school or anywhere so other solutions will have to be found.

Take care and good luck,

Kathy R. in Indiana

----- Original Message -----

From: MlndHall@...

Hello.

Well, got up this morning, got ready for school and then decided he

didn't feel like going. He kept saying over and over and over that he didn't

feel good. I know one article I've read says that kids with OCD can generally

not

feel good. But I know he's fine.

Reall ticked me off because I had a meeting I needed to attend this morning

as well as one tonight. So I had to drag him with his sister to the meeting

this morning as I will have to tonight as well. He just refused to go to

school.

So I figure there's something going on today that he doesn't want to do. Or he

didn't do something he was supposed to , so he doesn't want to go. But, he's

11 and I can't physically pick him up and take him. So what do I do?

I see on my caller ID that the school called, so I am assuming the case

manager called while I was out. I don't know what to tell her. I have no idea

what

to tell anyone. What can I do? He was home last Thursday. (After coming home

Wed.) I don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to homeschool. But I don't

know what my alternative is at this point.

Melinda

[Guest guest]

Dear Melinda,

I have been fighting this battle with my daughter for four years. It's

incredibly difficult. I just went through this on Tuesday, in fact! We have made

a rule that once she is at school, she can't come home unless she has vomited

more than once (she throws up because of her extreme anxiety sometimes, but

it hasn't ever happened at school. This is just to prevent the " I DID throw up "

phone call.), has a fever measured by the school nurse, or the nurse thinks

she needs to go home. Obviously the school nurse needs to be in on this - our

nurse knows Annie very well and is onto her! Secondly, she has to go to school

unless she is actually throwing up, or is truly sick which she never is. It

hasn't ever come to having to lift her into the car, but almost... We have made

sure she understands that not going will only make the following day harder.

If she lets OCD win one day, it'll be stronger and stronger... We remind her

over and over again that she will feel better once she gets to school and is

involved with her work. It has taken four years, but she finally realizes that

is

true. And finally, if she stays home, she has to stay in her room, play

quietly, and gets no tv or extra parent time or anything fun (unless she IS

actually sick!).

All that being said, we have a psychologist who has talked me through

many bad school refusal weeks, in which Annie has woken up vomiting just before

dawn for days and days on end, and then is just fine at 9 a.m. We had to make

some very clear ground rules and explain them to Annie and her school. And I

needed guildelines from her on how to proceed.

I would strongly encourage you not to homeschool your son because of OCD.

Letting OCD win this battle will make it stronger, and he may then not be

able to leave the house or do other things he loves. If you can get him back to

school, even for only 15 minutes in the hallway, do so. He can gradually build

back up to full attendance if going for a full day is too much right now.

I hope things improve. Until then, you have my heartfelt sympathy!!

in NV

[Guest guest]

Melinda wrote:

And no one around me appears to see the seriousness of all of this. That's

the hard part.

Melinda,

I know what you mean, as a mom you " know " something just isn't the norm and

I have had people tell me everything from " she is just playing you cause she

knows she can " to " put her in school and she'll quit making up these

fantasies, shes just bored " HAH! I wish it were so easy! My dh doesn't

even realize it is serious cause he is self employed and an assistant pastor

so he is pretty much gone except for night time, and then he is vegging out

at the puter or in front of the T.V so he doesn't have to deal with it at

all really.

Hang in there, at least you have all of us and believe me all these folks on

here have been a great help. I run to the puter every morning waiting to see

what else someone can teach me.

Melony

..

[Guest guest]

> > Hello.

> >

> > Well, got up this morning, got ready for school and then

> > decided he

> > didn't feel like going. He kept saying over and over and over that he

> > didn't

> > feel good. I know one article I've read says that kids with OCD can

> > generally not

> > feel good. But I know he's fine.

Man, I can't offer any help yet, but I can commiserate.

My daughter's always had some amount of difficulty with school (she

would get terribly screamingly upset if things weren't exactly as she

expected them to be, she was fearful of any sort of change, she would

suddenly develop aversions to odd things like songs, and then stand in

the corner shouting with her hands over her ears when they were sung),

but it's only recently that things ramped up for her and that we made

the connection that this might be OCD.

So now it's gotten to the point where the school is calling me most

days and saying she's spent half the day in the office, or wanting her

to only come in for half-days until she gets some remediation (her

appointment at the Anxiety Disorders Clinic is nearly a month away).

In the meantime, while I'm fully aware that she's suffering terribly,

I'm also aware that she rather enjoys being sent to the office, as she

gets someone's undivided attention for a while and gets to play with

the Legos or whatever.

I'm not sure what to tell the school to do. *sigh*

Best of luck with your situation too.

lisa

[Guest guest]

Melinda,

Our school districts in Arizona are now offering computerized home-based

learning. My understanding is that it is NOT home schooling, in that all

of the curriculum materials/marking/classes are provided. The child

works from home, however, and classes are online. My recollection is

that this is available for all grades. Perhaps something like that is

available in your area and would offer a solution.

Sue in Phoenix

MlndHall@... wrote:

> Hello.

>

> Well, got up this morning, got ready for school and then

> decided he

> didn't feel like going. He kept saying over and over and over that he

> didn't

> feel good. I know one article I've read says that kids with OCD can

> generally not

> feel good. But I know he's fine.

>

> Reall ticked me off because I had a meeting I needed to attend this

> morning

> as well as one tonight. So I had to drag him with his sister to the

> meeting

> this morning as I will have to tonight as well. He just refused to go

> to school.

> So I figure there's something going on today that he doesn't want to

> do. Or he

> didn't do something he was supposed to , so he doesn't want to go.

> But, he's

> 11 and I can't physically pick him up and take him. So what do I do?

>

> I see on my caller ID that the school called, so I am assuming the case

> manager called while I was out. I don't know what to tell her. I have

> no idea what

> to tell anyone. What can I do? He was home last Thursday. (After

> coming home

> Wed.) I don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to homeschool. But

> I don't

> know what my alternative is at this point.

>

> Melinda

>

>

>