re: making friends

[Guest guest]

,

I think that most of us are struggling with the immaturity. And, Tim used to try

to blame things on everyone but his self. I always make a point to him that NO

ONE can make him DO anything! It is his choice to do right or wrong. He did

finally come to understand that he couldn't blame others for his own mistakes.

One thing we say to eachother every morning as I drop the kids off at school is,

" Make Good Choices " . This has turned into our morning ritual and I do believe

that it is working. When I pick them up from school I ask them if they made good

choices during the day, and it opens up our discussion of the daily events. If

something went wrong during the day, I ask them to think about what they could

have done differently. This allows me to guide them in their choices and helps

them understand that they are responsible for their own actions. Also, if they

had a bad day and want to be grumpy about it (they try to take their bad day out

on me) I tell them that that part of the day

is over and now we are starting a new part of the day. That seems to be helping

also.

Kristy

wrote:

anne & Kaydo,

When you find an answer, let me know. Our , who will be 14 in

June, is still stuggling to find a group of friends -- not the people

who merely acknowledge her existence and she believes that makes them

her friends.

continues to learn in school at the age-approporiate level and

being on the honor roll this entire past year. However, her maturity

level and social skill development is more in line with our 8 year old

or younger. She is very quick to take ANY criticism as a personal

afront and continues to not accept ANY responsibility for her own

actions. Everything is somebody else's fault.

For example, because her sisters told her to hurry up on the way

downstairs in the morning, its not her fault that she forgot her purse

that had her lunch money in it. Of course, the fact that they told her

that almost 40 minutes before she actually left isn't important in her

mind. They rushed her, so anything wrong is their fault, no matter how

long she had to fix herself breakfast, get her coat, grab her backpack

and get down the driveway for the bus.

" I didn't have time to make Mom a Mother's Day card " was my most recent

favorite. It must be a brand new holiday. It must not be on every

calendar we own. I guess the discussions her sisters and I had for

nearly a month prior about what to get their mother were only in my

mind. I guess I repeatedly asked only her younger sisters if they had

made a card yet. The list goes on and on..... somebody else's

fault......

But we just keep stressing the M.A.G.I.C. principle:

M ake A G ood I ntelligent C hoice

Right is right and wrong is wrong -- no matter who tells you what to

do. Make good choices. I know you KNOW, make sure you DO it.

The daily mantras......