Stupid Bully Tricks cont.

[Guest guest]

Now we will move on to how competitive they were and how that always

lead to fights.

The oldest brother was very much into sports, as was little bro.

Friend sort of was but was too overweight to be good enough for a

team. Therefore many of the things we played were sports related.

There were times we would play 3 man football. I would be full time

quarterback and was not to be tackled, the other two would play as

full teams. Things would generally go well for a while, but

eventually the two of them would start getting rough with each other.

Sooner or later one would get taken down hard and hurt and would come

up fighting the other one. I always gave them plenty of room when

that happened, and it always did.

With soccer, I was just the scorekeeper, since I wasn't about to play

goalie or get involved toe to toe with either of them. Basketball was

also out of the question since for a long time I couldn't get the

ball to the basket without both hands.

They even messed up games that I would make up. I had this one game

which used plastic baseball bats to knock around a little beach ball

and the idea simply was to get it passed the other person, kind of

like tennis, since there was a line you couldn't cross. They came

along when I was playing with another friend and soon they were

across the line and going toe to toe and shoving each other. As you

might guess, one of them eventually got whacked by a bat and that

started a fight. Once or twice they tried to play by the rules, even

playing doubles, but the two of them always violated like I describes

above and would get into a brawl.

Their family had a pool table in the basement. Pool takes a lot more

thought than you might think. It is very much a game of physics and

angles. Of course, this was too much for them to handle. So rather

than try to learn the proper game, they played one called " knock it

nooney " . This game was played using your hand to scoot the que ball

around instead of using a stick. (This probably originated from the

delight they took in messing the proper games I tried to play

by " innocently " bumping balls on the table.) This would rapidly

degenerate into a game with no turns and the queball became

meaningless. A big part of it turned into a game of chicken: trying

to hit the other guy's hand when he grabbed a ball. Eventually

someone would get their fingers bashed and then the pool balls came

off the table and started flying around the room. This was when I

either ran upstairs or hid behind a chair.

Even board and the just appearing computer games would end up in

fights. With board games, they would start cheating and get mad at

each other and fights would break out. On the console games, one

would be playing and the other would try to mess them up, which of

course also lead to fights.

Another post, another part.

[Guest guest]

Ah ,

I will give you some insight into bully families and where that

competitiveness comes from and why bullies like to win.

During one of the " truces " I had with the leader bully (Mike) I went

over to his house. He had literally boxes of army men that he had

inherited from his brother and cousins, and we used to set up

hundreds and hundreds of these all over the place.

We always played World War Two.

Keep in mind here that I was eight years old during this particular

episode, and was aware that WWII took place put didn't really know

what it was about.

When we played World War Two, they were actually a few of the times

that we DIDN'T fight.

1) Sometimes he wanted to be the " Krauts " and sometimes

the " Germans " and sometimes the Nazis. I thought these were three

separate sides the first time we played but understood before long.

2) I always wanted to be the Americans and couldn't really

understand how anyone would want to take any other side.

But Mike explained that:

1) He was German (and I guess for him, the term " Kraut " was just an

affectionate term, but to this day I am unclear on that.)

2) The Germans had the better submarine fleet

3) They had the V1 flying bomb (whatever THAT was).

4) The Germans had Hitler and all the Americans had was a " cripple. "

(I wasn't entirely sure what a " cripple " was, or why Hitler was

better, except that perhaps Hitler was not a " cripple. " )

5) He asserted that the Germans were better than the

American " traitors " anyway because the Germans mostly rid Europe of

the Jews.

At that age (eight), my parents had done a fairly good job of

keeping me ignorant. I had no idea what the holocaust was, and had

no real concept of whether or not it was a good or bad thing that

the Germans had " rid " the Jews from Eurpoe.

Even though he had painted the Germans in what I thought at the time

was a " good " light, I still wanted to be the American side anyway

because (after all) we had won the war.

But we usually never got very far into our games, because that's

when his older brother would come in and start terrifying the both

of us.

Mike had a bunch of model war plains and ships sitting on shelves in

his room, and his brother would see we were playing war, come in,

and start messing with Mike's models. It would start with him

flipping the propellers around, or flying the plane around and

threatening to throw it against the wall.

Anyway, Mike would raise up in protest and then his brother WOULD

throw the plane against the wall.

This one time, he came into the room and picked up a model ship (of

the Bismark) and said " Sink the Bismark! " And he put the ship down

on the ground and stepped on it.

Mike went ballistic and the two of them started rolling around on

the floor and beating the crap out of each other. I was getting all

upset because Mike's brother broke a beautiful ship and now all the

army men might be getting wrecked.

And if it were a Saturday or Sunday, Mike's dad would be sure to

come in and start punching the both of them until they both shut up

(not because they were fighting, but because he couldn't here " the

game " with all that noise going on). I never knew what " the game "

was. I thought it was some continuous game that was on for weeks on

end and you could just tune into it whenever you wanted to. Mike's

dad ALWAYS seemed to be watching the game.

Anyway, after some time went by and I got a REAL friend, he

explained what the Nazis did to the Jews (and embellished his story

with all the horrors too) and I stopped hanging around with Mike

after that.

But this will go to show you where the agression comes from and why

bullies want to " win. " Chances are bullies have someone bigger than

them pounding on them, and that's why they have to find someone else

to torment.

Tom

>

Now we will move on to how competitive they were and how that always

lead to fights.

>

[Guest guest]

Breaking a model is practically a death penalty offense. Those things can take a lot of time to put together, especially if you paint them too. I've had a few broken over the years by idiots or just people not paying attention to what they are doing and it was always a bad things. The more complex ones were beyond me since I lacked the fine dexterity to put them together. Eventually I gave that up.

[Guest guest]

:

> Breaking a model is practically a death penalty offense. Those things can

> take a lot of time to put together, especially if you paint them too.

I have to agree. This is one reason why peaceful little me used to

occasionally lose it and beat up my little sister - when she deliberately

ruined something I had built just to get my attention. An ADHD friend of

mine, José, has identified a particular personality type that will do

*anything* to get attention, even if that attention means gettig themselves

hated or beaten up. My ADHD little sister certainly was one of those. I love

her now, but boy did she get on my nerves when we were kids!

She wanted something to happen all the time and could not stand being alone

for one second. Social interaction was all she cared about. I wanted

*nothing* to happen. All I wanted was to be left alone. *Things* was all I

cared about.

Interestingly, all her drawings were very crude and non-artistic

black- & -white linear figures, but very expressive and telling a story: sort

of like a spontaneous, captivating cartoon. My drawings were highly skilled,

colorful and aestetically pleasing, with much care taken to get every detail

as life-like as possible, but my figures were always lifeless and immobile.

I was totally focused on form, she on content.

I think this is a typical Aspie thing. Like Tom, I too would have worried

more about the tree and the models than about the other kids. I find this is

the case when I watch films too. If people get killed, I tend to think that

it's too bad, but at least it's not for real. But when I see them blow up

houses, cars and all sorts of things, I get very disturbed. I really don't

like to see things getting destroyed. Seing beautiful old buildings torn

down is he most heartwrenching experience to me.

I remember this one thriller where a woman was about to take a shower and

turned on the water before coming back to the bedroom to take her robe off.

But once there, she was ambushed by a someone who had snuck into her home.

Though that was shocking of course, all I could think of was that one of

them really ought to go and turn the water off before continuing to struggle

with each other. :-)

Inger

Tom wrote:

> I will give you some insight into bully families and where that

competitiveness comes from and why bullies like to win.

> During one of the " truces " I had with the leader bully (Mike) I went

over to his house. He had literally boxes of army men that he had

inherited from his brother and cousins, and we used to set up

hundreds and hundreds of these all over the place.

> We always played World War Two.

> Keep in mind here that I was eight years old during this particular

episode, and was aware that WWII took place put didn't really know

what it was about.

> When we played World War Two, they were actually a few of the times

that we DIDN'T fight.

> 1) Sometimes he wanted to be the " Krauts " and sometimes

the " Germans " and sometimes the Nazis. I thought these were three

separate sides the first time we played but understood before long.

> 2) I always wanted to be the Americans and couldn't really

understand how anyone would want to take any other side.

> But Mike explained that:

> 1) He was German (and I guess for him, the term " Kraut " was just an

affectionate term, but to this day I am unclear on that.)

> 2) The Germans had the better submarine fleet

> 3) They had the V1 flying bomb (whatever THAT was).

> 4) The Germans had Hitler and all the Americans had was a " cripple. "

(I wasn't entirely sure what a " cripple " was, or why Hitler was

better, except that perhaps Hitler was not a " cripple. " )

> 5) He asserted that the Germans were better than the

American " traitors " anyway because the Germans mostly rid Europe of

the Jews.

> At that age (eight), my parents had done a fairly good job of

keeping me ignorant. I had no idea what the holocaust was, and had

no real concept of whether or not it was a good or bad thing that

the Germans had " rid " the Jews from Eurpoe.

> Even though he had painted the Germans in what I thought at the time

was a " good " light, I still wanted to be the American side anyway

because (after all) we had won the war.

> But we usually never got very far into our games, because that's

when his older brother would come in and start terrifying the both

of us.

> Mike had a bunch of model war plains and ships sitting on shelves in

his room, and his brother would see we were playing war, come in,

and start messing with Mike's models. It would start with him

flipping the propellers around, or flying the plane around and

threatening to throw it against the wall.

> Anyway, Mike would raise up in protest and then his brother WOULD

throw the plane against the wall.

> This one time, he came into the room and picked up a model ship (of

the Bismark) and said " Sink the Bismark! " And he put the ship down

on the ground and stepped on it.

> Mike went ballistic and the two of them started rolling around on

the floor and beating the crap out of each other. I was getting all

upset because Mike's brother broke a beautiful ship and now all the

army men might be getting wrecked.

> And if it were a Saturday or Sunday, Mike's dad would be sure to

come in and start punching the both of them until they both shut up

(not because they were fighting, but because he couldn't here " the

game " with all that noise going on). I never knew what " the game "

was. I thought it was some continuous game that was on for weeks on

end and you could just tune into it whenever you wanted to. Mike's

dad ALWAYS seemed to be watching the game.

> Anyway, after some time went by and I got a REAL friend, he

explained what the Nazis did to the Jews (and embellished his story

with all the horrors too) and I stopped hanging around with Mike

after that.

> But this will go to show you where the agression comes from and why

bullies want to " win. " Chances are bullies have someone bigger than

them pounding on them, and that's why they have to find someone else

to torment.

> Tom

>

Now we will move on to how competitive they were and how that always

lead to fights.

>

FAM Secret Society is a community based on respect, friendship, support and

acceptance. Everyone is valued. Always remember that.