Guest guest Posted November 4, 2004 Report Share Posted November 4, 2004 you know in posting this last post it dawned on me, mabe i shouldnt let them download on me but insted pick up their hearts and fly with me, put some smiles into their hearts insted, but i still dont know if that would help to get them to want to chat with me the next day. > > since i been devorced and alone i been in the chats and stuff, no > real friends at home, like aside from family not one soul has entered > my home but me, now let me explain what my problem is then maybe you > can understand the question thats starting to eat at me,. > > i have chated with many ladys on the net, the local ones i tend to > hyperfocas on and lose them that way becose i get exited and hopeful, > so losing those i understand (or so i accept), but the long distance > ones and the out of age range ones are getting to me, i try hard to > get them to trust me enough to let me into there hearts and minds > hoping for a friend on line i can chat with all the time, but when > they do they whine about there love lives one day and a few days > later say there sooo happy with a new man in there lives, then even > later whine agin, and when there happy they dont ever want to chat > with me, there so bizy with there new toy or so it seems, i see them > on line but get ignored most of the time, what cues am i misssing to > get them to just want to chat with me and be friends good or bad > days? i am getting sick of hearing about loves lost and found so fast > it makes my head spin when i cant even get a date one, its getting to > me, and i try so to learn so that i can know enough to get a real > relationship someday and with the trubbles with those long distance > ones,- i see thats something if i ever have to deal with a local girl > to keep her intrest in me passed becoming a sounding board then > forgotten. even trying to have a social life on line is hell, i > thought since they couldnt see me they would be as blind as me, but i > am still missing much it seems. is it becose i am too nutral not > trying to get them to know me or i them passed being a friend? do > they want to be wanted when alls i hear at times is them sick of men > wanting them? am i being to sincear and feeling for to be wanted as > more then a soundingboard? this is getting old, to many girls are > doing this to me. its confusing me. is this normal? and it seems > thats all they ever talk about is there broken hearts and boys, or > how bad their day went, never the good stuff. i am always asking for > them to think of what made them smile the most today and tell me > about it. then i tend to get ignored the next day ( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 4, 2004 Report Share Posted November 4, 2004 let me explain how i catch their attention in the first place since i never IM/PM them untill they first tAlk with me, every once in a while i would say something ryming or poetic in the chat room, genraly something deep or sweet, and when bullys come into the room and pick on others i tend to get anoyed and try to make them feel guilty as all hell for what there doing and hope they stop and when they dont and if i can, i give them the boot, > > > > since i been devorced and alone i been in the chats and stuff, no > > real friends at home, like aside from family not one soul has > entered > > my home but me, now let me explain what my problem is then maybe > you > > can understand the question thats starting to eat at me,. > > > > i have chated with many ladys on the net, the local ones i tend to > > hyperfocas on and lose them that way becose i get exited and > hopeful, > > so losing those i understand (or so i accept), but the long > distance > > ones and the out of age range ones are getting to me, i try hard to > > get them to trust me enough to let me into there hearts and minds > > hoping for a friend on line i can chat with all the time, but when > > they do they whine about there love lives one day and a few days > > later say there sooo happy with a new man in there lives, then even > > later whine agin, and when there happy they dont ever want to chat > > with me, there so bizy with there new toy or so it seems, i see > them > > on line but get ignored most of the time, what cues am i misssing > to > > get them to just want to chat with me and be friends good or bad > > days? i am getting sick of hearing about loves lost and found so > fast > > it makes my head spin when i cant even get a date one, its getting > to > > me, and i try so to learn so that i can know enough to get a real > > relationship someday and with the trubbles with those long distance > > ones,- i see thats something if i ever have to deal with a local > girl > > to keep her intrest in me passed becoming a sounding board then > > forgotten. even trying to have a social life on line is hell, i > > thought since they couldnt see me they would be as blind as me, but > i > > am still missing much it seems. is it becose i am too nutral not > > trying to get them to know me or i them passed being a friend? do > > they want to be wanted when alls i hear at times is them sick of > men > > wanting them? am i being to sincear and feeling for to be wanted as > > more then a soundingboard? this is getting old, to many girls are > > doing this to me. its confusing me. is this normal? and it seems > > thats all they ever talk about is there broken hearts and boys, or > > how bad their day went, never the good stuff. i am always asking > for > > them to think of what made them smile the most today and tell me > > about it. then i tend to get ignored the next day ( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 4, 2004 Report Share Posted November 4, 2004 aspergian_mutant: > i have chated with many ladys on the net, the local ones i tend to hyperfocas on and lose them that way becose i get exited and hopeful, so losing those i understand (or so i accept), but the long distance ones and the out of age range ones are getting to me, i try hard to get them to trust me enough to let me into there hearts and minds hoping for a friend on line i can chat with all the time, but when they do they whine about there love lives one day and a few days later say there sooo happy with a new man in there lives, then even later whine agin, and when there happy they dont ever want to chat with me, there so bizy with there new toy or so it seems, i see them on line but get ignored most of the time, what cues am i misssing to get them to just want to chat with me and be friends good or bad days? i am getting sick of hearing about loves lost and found so fast it makes my head spin when i cant even get a date one, its getting to me, and i try so to learn so that i can know enough to get a real relationship someday and with the trubbles with those long distance ones,- i see thats something if i ever have to deal with a local girl to keep her intrest in me passed becoming a sounding board then forgotten. even trying to have a social life on line is hell, i thought since they couldnt see me they would be as blind as me, but i am still missing much it seems. is it becose i am too nutral not trying to get them to know me or i them passed being a friend? do they want to be wanted when alls i hear at times is them sick of men wanting them? am i being to sincear and feeling for to be wanted as more then a soundingboard? this is getting old, to many girls are doing this to me. its confusing me. is this normal? and it seems thats all they ever talk about is there broken hearts and boys, or how bad their day went, never the good stuff. i am always asking for them to think of what made them smile the most today and tell me about it. then i tend to get ignored the next day ( I honestly have no clue. I certainly don't change BF's like that, nor would I discuss them with other male friends online if I did. I'd be confused to in your shoes. But is it possible that you might be sending off mixed signals? Perhaps you need to be more clear on whenter it is a GF or just a friend you're looking for? If you want someone to date (and love) have you tried any of the online dating services? Inger Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 4, 2004 Report Share Posted November 4, 2004 aspergian_mutant: > you know in posting this last post it dawned on me, mabe i shouldnt let > them download on me The more you respect your own needs, the more others will respect you too. If you don't want to listen to their whining, just tell them so. (If they need a therapist, there are plenty to be had for a fee.) > ...but insted pick up their hearts and fly with me, put some smiles into > their hearts insted, but i still dont know if that would help to get them to want to chat with me the next day. Sounds like a better strategy, anyway. Good luck! Inger Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 5, 2004 Report Share Posted November 5, 2004 Just for the record, I am not a lady, but I thought I'd answer your question anyway. I have two things to say: 1) I think to get the best results in chat, always be yourself. If a woman is attracted to you, she will chat with you because she wants to. If a woman is not attracted to you, she won't hang around. Thus you can find a genuine friend faster. 2)Remember that you have Asperger's and many of the women you chat with will not. They will be different than you and will not be able to relate to you or understand you. It's natural that you'd feel some frustration because of this, but on the other hand, it increases your chances of finding the right chat-companion because (in my opinion) NT women tend to shy away from AS men reeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllll quick. And that leaves AS women behind, which I think tend to make better companions for AS men. Tom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.