Re: Pressure and relaxation

[Guest guest]

Ilah, your description here is so similar to how I percieve it, that I could

have written it myself.

> While trying to find ways that worked to relax myself I found many

of the most common ways listed did nothing for me or made me feel

more stressed.

Same here!

> One of the most problematic for me was meditation. In traditional

meditation, you are not moving and you have cleared your mind of all

thoughts. So in essence you are literally doing nothing, but in

practice it was the most difficult thing I have ever attempted to

do. I tried really hard because I had read so many good things

about how wonderful meditation is, but I could not make it work for

me.

Me neither. I was getting frantic with impatience! Not exactly relaxing.

> Another one that I hear some people enjoy is to lay on a beach

all day, not reading, but just laying there. I would call that doing

nothing. I don't mean that in a negative way. If it is something

that helps a person to relax and rejuvinate then it is worthwhile

doing. It just doesn't do anything for me. I get board and

restless and irritable.

Once, about 12 years ago, I was ill, without a car, and unable to do

anything but go down to the beach about 5 minutes from my house. I was bored

stiff! So immediately my mind started categorizing body types and sorting

out which types of bathing suits were most becoming - or unbecoming - to

each type. (I've now got a much better grasp of it than most fashion

designers, since I spent a whole summer on this analysis.) :-) That got me

through that extremelsy slow period and made it feel less like of a waste of

time.

When I finally got a car and was able to start moving around and getting

things done again, it was a monumental relief! I started renovating my

aunt's house and voloneered to help a friend who had a shop for free, just

to have something to do. Then I was happy again. :-)

> I would put taking a long bath in that

category. I don't think the mind is totally passive during these

times, probably people who enjoy these activities are enjoying all

the pleasurable sensory inputs.

I get bored by long baths too. That's why I only have a shower. :-)

> I had been told before that I need to slow down and relax, that my

desire to spend most of my free time working on crafts and other

activities is not good.

Who told you that??? Are they nuts or what?

> I have been told that I need to slow down and take it easy.

And what makes other people think they are qualified to know what is best

for you??

> For a while I bought into it before I realized I was just stressing myself

> out.

Good. Because only YOU can know what works for you.

> My mind doesn't really slow down it is very active all the time. It

is not necessarily better or worse than what most people experience,

just different.

I find that if my body is passive, then my mind is very active. Only when I

work with my hands or body, does my mind get a 'rest' (= mindlessly

regurgitating and repeating some of its latest input - e.g. a song, a

conversation, a book or a film - whithout my conscious participation).

Having a hyperactive mind I think is an Aspie thing too. I just read a thing

that an Aspie friend of mine wrote, which describes how his mind was so

hyperactive that it was impossible for him to sleep.

> I realize now that what helps a person to unstress is very personal.

There are no universal techniques that work for everyone.

Very good insight. I wish more peers, parents & professionals would arrive

at the same conclusion. I used to go around feeling like a total falure in

the spiritual sense for not being able to do something as crucial and simple

as meditating. But then I happened to stuble on an article by Osho of all

people (whom I've never really taken seriously before) that said that if

you're already in a meditative state, you don't need meditation. And at that

instant, I realized this to be true for myeslf. I AM in a constant state of

meditation so why would I need to waste time on more of the same? Instead

I've had to struggle NOT to space out all the time.

It's the same with diet. 'Everyone' said that being a vegetarian is the best

for everyone and some of my friends even tried to convince me to go the

living food (=sprouts & fruit), to skip bread etc. Probably a great idea for

lots of people - but not for ME, since I'm already ethereal enough and need

something of substance to keep me grounded. Why is it so hard for people do

realize that not everyone is the same?

> Perhaps 'relaxation' is not the best word to use. I feel happiest

and most satisified when I am working on my crafts or doing some

activity that challanges me to my limits. Something challanging,

something active, something that requires physcial movement - these

are the things that most help relieve my stress levels.

Very well put! Every single delightful word in this paragraph describes me

too.

Inger